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Help with Fluff
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Old 09 Jul 2010, 22:36   #1 (permalink)
Kroot Warrior
 
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Default Help with Fluff

my brother and i want to start playing warhammer. he wants to play the marines and i want to play the tau. we like the models, and we like that we picked a cool desert color theme for both armies. now we want to come up with the fluff that will pass the smell test with the community. please help.

here's the fluff i came up with.

Names of major players.

Valentius, second Melik of Ruski’oos, – surviving commander of the space marines on the planet.

Melece the Cruel, aka, Melece the Idiot – the feudal lord, who commanded the doomed expedition. He is known as the Cruel within his principality due to his, well, cruelty. He is relatively young, and thoroughly insane dictator, with a twinkle of megalomania and grandeur in his eye. He is called the Idiot by the surviving forces stranded on Loudoun 4. More on that later.

General Anush Avan Greorgian is in charge of the Purcell Desert theater. That’s me with the Sisters of Tau. Anush Avan has to stop the space marine advance out of the desert and if possible soften up the enemy to the point where a counter attack can be launched to destroy the imperial invaders.

Loudoun 4 is an earth sized planet on the outer edges of Tau space. Agents of the imperium have not visited the system for some 2000 years. Loudoun system and the surrounding parsecs (a cube made of 20 x 20 x 20 light years) have been cut off from warp travel by warp storms for a good portion of the last 15,000 years. Loudoun 4 has a population of 12 million that are spread out across 3 of the 4 continents. There are another half a million souls scattered throughout the Loudoun System.

These humans are unique in two respects. First, they do not have psychic genes. This is because they eluded mixing with genetically engineered humans that have come to dominate the galaxy since about 8K (or the beginning of warp travel, which was made possible by genetic alterations).

Second, they bow down to an obscure Deity they claim created the universe out of love.

They managed to stay obscure, thanks to the fact that a majority of them, unknown billions, live in space hulks that rarely settle on planets. When they did settle, they were usually conquered or exterminated by 40K forces. What do you think the Great Crusade before the Heresy was doing?

About the humans on Loudoun 4. They are the brains behind the tau technological leaps and bounds that happened within the last thousand years. That’s why their weapons are similar to the tau. They trade with the tau, who in return, offer protected territory for their space hulks. There have been, and continue to be wars between these humans and the tau.

Humans of Loudoun 4 have more technological weapons than the tau. Such as the crisis drones that replace heavy suits. They also have crisis suits that are used to board space ships to tear through them. The crisis drones are remote controlled as not to place extra lives in danger. Especially the lives of experienced pilots.

The pilots use manned crisis suits when boarding space ships, since remote control is out of the question. Those suits are super souped up. They have broadsides that are faster, have stealth and better armor. Regular suits also have stealth fields and have weapons that are found on thanks, like full size ion cannons, rail guns, and massive plasma cannons that can cut through hulls.

The tau have outdated suits that the warrior caste considers a badge of honor to man. Thus, they irrationally sacrifice pilots on battlefields.

The story

Ten years ago, the warp storms lifted from the Loudoun parsec and the surrounding space. Being relatively near, Melece, in his quest for glory, decided to lead a crusade/booty raid into tau territory through the unprotected gap in what everyone in his court agreed was the underbelly of the tau.

He gathered two space marine chapters at 500 man strong each, a sizable imperial guard army and a huge convent of sisters (mainly for entertainment) as well as a good number of support personnel and slaves.

It took him 3 years to assemble the army. With the armada, he set out straight for Loudoun. What happened next could only be described as Divine intervention. Everything went wrong. Melece traveled for 6 weeks through the warp, but covered 6 years in real time. On approach to Loudoun, the armada ran into a chaos demon force. A good portion of the attack ships covering transports engaged the demons. For whatever reason, on transport with a detachment of imperial guard dropped out of the warp ahead of everyone else, thus arriving at Loudoun 4 eleven months ahead of everyone else. Without support of attack ships and the rest of the fleet.

As dumb luck would have it, Melece’s stepnephew, Uday, commanded the vessel. After assessing sketchy intelligence for 5 minutes that they gathered for only a week in orbit, some lame attempts at diplomacy and boneheaded ultimatums to the locals, he ordered an attack on the planet.

Needless to say, the locals manage to repell the invaders at a cost of nearly 5 million people. They kill Uday, capture, interrogate and exterminate the survivors and most importantly, learn about the imperial technology and prepare for the attack.

Melece’s fleet drops out of the warp eleven months later, just when the people of Loudoun 4 set up defenses over major population centers, as soon as the transports arrive, they meet stiff resistance. Human crisis teams emerge from the orbiting wreckage of the imperial vessel and begin to burrow deep into the imperial ships and rendering them uninhabitable. Many slaves and imperial guardsmen are lost in orbit. But the majority of the landing parties are shot on the way down to the cities.

The two space marine chapters manage to land. But, it is by no means where they intended. As the transport ships approach lower orbit, they are pummeled by concentrated firepower, and turn half a degrees off. That’s enough to send the marines landing 2000 miles away from the nearest population center, in the middle of the Purcell Desert together with a detachment of imperial guard and sisters.

Up in space, things are getting nastier. Melece is shocked to his invasion plan unravel. The warships are nowhere to be found. They’re still fighting off demons. In the warp, minutes have passed since the transports dropped out, in real time, months. The marines are in the wrong place and have to slog across the desert without water and little fuel. And the 70% of the imperial guard who make it out of the transport ships burn up in the atmosphere due to bad entries and planetary defenses. All the while his ships are being depressurized by steal broadsides and other nasty stuff.

Being a good dictator and a pathetic general, he cuts a third of the surviving fleet, the untouched, and runs to the asteroids to prepare for planetary bombardment. He issues the order to the attack ships still in the warp to meet him outside the solar system in the asteroids to help with the preparations for the annihilation of Loudoun 4, with the marines still on the planet. His attack ships arrive there 2 months later.

Once the marines, who remain in space, learn of his orders, two weeks after the invasion, they assassinate Melece and install his even more incompetent second step nephew, Quisay. By this time, the remainder of the fleet free of broadside infestation is a third of the way to the asteroids. They military command halt and begin developing a new strategy of how to rescue the stranded marines. Confusion and political backstabbing reign.

When the rest of the battle fleet drop out of the warp and begin working on moving the asteroids into position for a planetary bombardment, they get attacked by the colonists living in space, who have been spared from the fight up to that point. Rather than drop… it’s a cluster feth.

On the planet, the name of the game is to wait to be rescued. Valentius becomes the overall commander of the marines, after the real commander is gunned down along with a hundred marines by sisters of tau because of their stupid colors a few days after landing. Being ever practical, and having observed the enemy sneak up on them time and again, valentius orders armor and equipment to be camouflaged. That significantly cuts down on marine casualties, saving 600 – 700 marines from quick extermination. Marines, guard and sisters of battle begin to fight under a unified color scheme, while the intrigues shake out in space.

The marines establish a base in the desert, organize defenses, and prepare to wait out the onslaught. At this point it is no more than harassing engagements that slowly bleed the numbers. They are spared the full blunt of the human tau attack since the Loudouners are fighting with a massive guard army that landed closer to their cities, as well as ripping the imperial fleet in orbit a new one.

This is Landing + 144 days into the campaign. There’re are roughly 600-700 marines on the ground from two chapters under the command of valentius. They are facing a largely an army of crisis drones and human fire warriors.
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Old 10 Jul 2010, 14:35   #2 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

anush_avan, you are not going to get much help here. Everyone has gone over to: http://************.co.cc , so if you want any help you'll have to go there.
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Old 10 Jul 2010, 17:26   #3 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

In my opinion the fluff seems.. clunky and unfair.

You have basically slipped into tau fanboyism and gross misunderstanding of the imperium. For one space marine chapters number 1000 marines. Also they would not camoflague as they see it cowardice to do so.

The phsycicness wasn't because of genetic engineering it was because humans are a race created by the 'old ones' an ancient long dead race that fought the necorns. They created other physcic races when they were losing to continue the fight in the future. The only way to get non phycic humans is through the extroadinarily rare pariah geen the necrons placed in the humans in order to create more of their kind.

Also the imperium has long been unable to create technology only adapt as there is no way of knowing how the high technology worked.

when a fleet travels through the warp together they emerge together aswell, it is only if the fleet is split up tat this could happen.

As to the technologically advance tau like crisis dornes that is definately over the top. Observing an engagement in BFG normal ranges of ships represent hundreds of thousadns possibly millions of KM apart and normall mantas are needed to bomb enemy ships. Crisis suits would take too long. And even if they made it enemy shis have turrets capable of taking them out with contemptiuos ease.

[hr]

Has your brother read this as it is basically insulting the imperium, marines and sisters of battle the entire way through. Your writing style is definately biased.

In future do not write fluff affecting the entire of a races developement like claiming the human tau did all the technological leaps and bounds.

Sorry to break the bad news but this fluff is unfair, biased, poorly follows cannon fluff and not good.
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Old 11 Jul 2010, 23:05   #4 (permalink)
Kroot Shaper
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

not bad to the most part. Some of the thing you wrote won't happen but its still not to bad.
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Old 12 Jul 2010, 17:49   #5 (permalink)
Shas'Saal
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

Something going on with the postings? This is two of 'em now that have odd links from members.
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Old 12 Jul 2010, 19:40   #6 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackPowderChocobo
Something going on with the postings? This is two of 'em now that have odd links from members.
The odd links are the links to youtube.com (replace numbers with letter to get it.) It is because the admin doesn't want these links as this is a forum that was made when all the members of this one left a short while ago and he has made the censor change youtube.com to well that!
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Old 12 Jul 2010, 20:46   #7 (permalink)
Shas'Saal
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

I just caught on to the (for lack of a better term) political shenanigans going on here. As I noted when I found out, it makes me a sad panda.

Back to the topic, I agree with Unholy; among other things, the I honestly doubt that the Tau would/could share Crisis technology without actually taking over the planet as a part of the Greater Good, in which case it'd still be Tau Firewarriors in the suits. While I could easily see Gues'la with Pulse Rifles (statswise it'd be the same as a Firewarrior for all purposes), they wouldn't be given the Suits (or, possibly, may be incompatible even if they did want to, honestly not sure).

Honestly, it sounds similar to Taros Campaign (Imperial Armour 3) with anti-Imperial biasness that Unholy has brought out. If you get a chance to read that, it's an interesting situation with both sides making mistakes, but the Tau winning in the end (partially due to the then new Mantas that destroyed a Titan to the shock of the Marines/Guard). Ultimately, the Tau are the invaders to an Empire owned planet but plant seeds of discontent to slowly absorb Taros before the Marines/Guard come in to try and kick the Tau out. Might give you a better idea on how to inspire the fluff for your guys' armies.

Sincerely,
BPC
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Old 12 Jul 2010, 23:47   #8 (permalink)
Kroot Warrior
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unholy Harbinger
In my opinion the fluff seems.. clunky and unfair.

You have basically slipped into tau fanboyism and gross misunderstanding of the imperium. For one space marine chapters number 1000 marines.
But a chapter would never commit all of its fighters to one campaign, hence, i have two chapters at half strength each. I thought that would be more reasonable

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unholy Harbinger
The phsycicness wasn't because of genetic engineering it was because humans are a race created by the 'old ones' an ancient long dead race that fought the necorns. They created other physcic races when they were losing to continue the fight in the future. The only way to get non phycic humans is through the extroadinarily rare pariah geen the necrons placed in the humans in order to create more of their kind.
so says the official propaganda machine in the fourty first millenium. Since, according to official fluff, the early history, up to 20k is largely lost, we don't know what happened... the necrons could have been created by humanity to kill off the human genetic failures called orks, who got out of the lab, for all we know. thankfully, history is sufficiently vague to leave my fluff at least a possiblity.

One very possible possibility is that humans were genetically altered to be psychic around A.D. 5000 giving the the possibility to travel through the warp. People who didn't get down and dirty with the psychers were never tainted by them...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unholy Harbinger
Also the imperium has long been unable to create technology only adapt as there is no way of knowing how the high technology worked.
I don't attempt to disagree. The imperium is stuck in 10k rut, a la, the Chinese bureaucracy and Islamic malaise. However, given half the chance and a quarter of the time humans have the ability to go from not wiping ourselves to splitting the atom. And that's the point. In my fluff, the imperium stumbled upon humans who have never been in contact with the imperium before, because they are not psychic, and because they don't live on planets much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unholy Harbinger
when a fleet travels through the warp together they emerge together as well, it is only if the fleet is split up that this could happen.
As I read, traveling through the warp is akin to traveling through Hell, sometimes things don't work out as planned. This is one of those moments.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unholy Harbinger
As to the technologically advance tau like crisis dornes that is definately over the top. Observing an engagement in BFG normal ranges of ships represent hundreds of thousadns possibly millions of KM apart and normall mantas are needed to bomb enemy ships. Crisis suits would take too long. And even if they made it enemy shis have turrets capable of taking them out with contemptiuos ease.
Ever try to kill a gnat with a rifle bullet?

I would also like to point out, when launching an attack on the planet, you can only be so far away, usually in low orbit. That's a lot closer than millions of miles.

As for the Tau using inferior tech themselves... It's not only plausible, it's damn near guaranteed. Follow my reasoning with feudal Japan as an analogy. A tau pilot is promoted from a firewarrior. He's a hero, and piloting a suit is an honor. Having a remote controlled battle suit is insulting to the tau. In feudal Japan, the samurai despised gunpowder, they viewed it as a common footsoldier's weapon. there was no honor in it.

I don't see a dynamic, tech obsessed us airforce going up in arms about predator drones or the new stealth bomber BAE systems just unveiled.

Mind you, the tau are tech obsessed, however, they let their dogma get in the way of progress... just as the soviets killed off their genetic research because of their dogma.

That's where the difference is. The imperium is stuck in Sharia style self stagnation. the Tau are handicapped by communism... My army is modeled after the American frontiersman.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unholy Harbinger
Has your brother read this as it is basically insulting the imperium, marines and sisters of battle the entire way through.
He has. He thinks it's stupid. Since he's my little brother, his opinion doesn't count, especially since he likes to use words such as "stupid," 'biased' and "unfair" without a good explanation.
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Old 12 Jul 2010, 23:51   #9 (permalink)
Kroot Warrior
 
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Default Re: Help with Fluff

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackPowderChocobo
I agree with Unholy; among other things, the I honestly doubt that the Tau would/could share Crisis technology without actually taking over the planet as a part of the Greater Good, in which case it'd still be Tau Firewarriors in the suits. While I could easily see Gues'la with Pulse Rifles (statswise it'd be the same as a Firewarrior for all purposes), they wouldn't be given the Suits (or, possibly, may be incompatible even if they did want to, honestly not sure).
Don't think of it as Tau sharing tech out of the kindness of their own heart. Think of it as the cold war, with both sides stealing tech from one another.

Or better yet, think of it as Americans sharing tech with the Israilis. Except the other way. The humans have better tech, the Tau get tier 2 weapons in exchange for protection.

Don't know about y'all, but that sounds reasonable to me.
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