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Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.
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Old 30 Nov 2005, 21:15   #1 (permalink)
Shas'Saal
 
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Default Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

Ethereals - Ironic name, since you can see, touch (and probably smell) them.* Worse yet, one good poke with a sharp stick and they really do become Ether.* I think of them as twinlinking morale.

Crisis HQ's - Nothing too funny here...Bodyguard anyone?* No?* I didn't think so.

Crisis Battlesuits - Love em, I really do.* I know that Tau are not designed for Close Combat, but goshdarnit, he costs as much as 3 marines, who would likely hand him his arse on a platter, and he would ask for more.* For 10 points I can make him a leader, and get another WS and I, making me a CC monster!* Well, OK it makes me faster than Necrons, though they still outfight me.* Funny that these guys are a better bodyguard...

Pathfinders - Not really a 'fast' fast attack choice, I mean, it's not like they can move and shoot or anything.* And they aren't really trailblazers in the traditional sense.* But their markerlights are cool.* Of course the markerlights don't actually hurt anything, but they DO blaze a trail.* For munitions.* Perhaps we should call them TargetFinders instead?* Mandatory Devilfish is sort of funny, makes this 'advance' scout hard to miss when 'scouting'.

Firewarriors - Long range shooters that play with fire (plasma pulse) and don't get burned.* They are also warriors that don't actually like to you know...fight.* Just like professional wrestling.

Kroot - These guys are the be all end all in hand to hand combat...when they are picking on guys smaller than them.* I've known gretchin that have looked at a Kroot and said, "Yeah, I can take 'im."* Of course it was a really big gretchin.* In the rare circumstance where they actually win combat, they seemingly have no issues eating necron bodies.* Lucky them, I can't even chew on foil without getting the willies.* Krootox?* They must be nearly extinct, cause I've never seen one!* Seriously, the Kroot should look into obedience training for these guys, rather than having them run off into the woods just cause a Kroot fell off.

Gun Drones - Great little creations.* Hey, I've got an idea, let's give them rudimentary intelligence!* Even better, let's give them a crappy targeting system.* No wait, we should also make them afraid of their own shadow!* (I actually like these guys, but why aren't they fearless?).* Don't take em as wargear, unless you're suicidal, or like fleeing cause a couple of frizbees with microchips just got shot down.

Broadsides - Battle suits without jump capability, but seriously, they pack a whallop.* I mean these guys can fire 2 railguns simultaneously, and an SMS.* They just can't move about.* I think the 'broadside' of this unit must be their butt, cause that's what gets shot off cause they can't move it out of the way.* What I really want, is a Hammerhead attachment that allows these buggers to hitch a ride.* Think of it, a Hammerhead with a flatbed, skimming in paint the town red.* Nuff said!

So I like the 'aquatic' naming scheme behind the Tau vehicles.* So you've got the Manta, the Skyray, the Devilfish (another name for Manta)...OK looks good...then you've got...Barracuda...Piranha?* Wha?* My dearest Tau, why not stick with the 'ray' scheme.* You know, Skate, Stingray, Guitarfish (of course guitarfish sounds kinda stupid so maybe skip that one).* At the very least stick with the Shark family. I mean how intimidating would the Tau MAKO sound?* I've got chills.* Of course, we'd have to avoid any 'Goblin Shark' references, unless we wanted to risk a 'WAAAAAGH' over Ork Intellectual Property rights (I can't decide whether or not that joke works better as irony or sarcasm).

One last thing...the Fish of Fury tactic is horribly mislabelled.* I mean, the 'fish generally is only a supporting role in the 'actual' shooting fury (with Burst cannons, and drones if you count them).* So to be totally accurate (while giving credit where credit is due), perhaps we should rename this tactic.* Perhaps, the The Fish That Excretes Fury.* Just a thought.

These are just a few (hopefully somewhat humorous) observations.* I'm sure there's nothing new here, but if anyone else has any, I'd love to hear em.
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Old 30 Nov 2005, 21:27   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

intresting. Twin-linked Morale. Laugfht.
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Old 30 Nov 2005, 21:47   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

or like fleeing cause a couple of frizbees with microchips just got shot down.

LOL LOL good stuff. Thats what i dont under stand. There supposed to get killed. Thats why there there.
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Old 05 Dec 2005, 13:10   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

That's why I use them! For the greater good go kill yourself!
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Old 05 Dec 2005, 15:55   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

Pretty funny stuff man!

Quote:
Professional Wrestling....
... That killed me.

Will you be adding anything for Stealthsuits and Hammerheads?

Cheers!
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Old 05 Dec 2005, 16:15   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

Quote:
Originally Posted by l33t_m0nk3y
* Of course, we'd have to avoid any 'Goblin Shark' references, unless we wanted to risk a 'WAAAAAGH' over Ork Intellectual Property rights (I can't decide whether or not that joke works better as irony or sarcasm).

One last thing...the Fish of Fury tactic is horribly mislabelled.* I mean, the 'fish generally is only a supporting role in the 'actual' shooting fury (with Burst cannons, and drones if you count them).* So to be totally accurate (while giving credit where credit is due), perhaps we should rename this tactic.* Perhaps, the The Fish That Excretes Fury.* Just a thought.

These are just a few (hopefully somewhat humorous) observations.* I'm sure there's nothing new here, but if anyone else has any, I'd love to hear em.

lol very funny how about one on other races.
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Old 05 Dec 2005, 22:02   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

Stealth suits and hh are really the only good thing about the tau thats not messed up.
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 03:06   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

I came over this with A bloody Angel SM player whos be my best friend one time. We talked about them in close combat. " how can you hit the Sleath suits there not even there? It's like preadator all you need now is the little shoulder laser thing and the werid clikcing sounds and Bam Copyright lawsuit." Yeah.... We do stupid things like that..
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 06:29   #9 (permalink)
Shas'Saal
 
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

Well, I did refer to the stealthsuits the other day as 'surgical firehose'. You know, you put them where you want them and spray whatever is closest with a crapload of BC fire.

Thanks for the feedback.
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 12:40   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Pointless (and hopefully humorous) observations about Tau.

Very nice stuff. Burn those Kroot, that's the way!
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