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New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 13:10   #1 (permalink)
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Default New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

I've been thinking about this for a while, and we have the Enclave and the Venting Thread but really, sometimes it's not enough, especially with serious issues.

SD&D does not seem the best place to go especially if your ailment is 'subjective' (- other people don't belive pornography is an addiction, for example ) and you want advice without being challenged with questions

I propose an "SA&A" (which just sounds really tacky and maybe should have a different name :P ) where you can ask for help without having your thread interrupted with others problems and where nobody is going to question your beliefs - if they don't agree with them. For example, if you were asking for advice with your particular religion, nobody would be allowed to go "Maybe you're doubting because it's not actually true".

Just a suggestion.

~ Frisbee ~

For All-Father.

EDIT: Just in case any of you want to question my motives, it's nothing to do with the fact I've had problems in SD&D, I'm asking this for the benefit of other people and to, I guess, take advantage of the fact that us TO-ers are a caring, concerned bunch for the most part and that could be put to furthur use in supporting each other through something like this - where differences are put aside to try and actually help someone thorugh this life that can really suck sometimes. It's nothing to do trying to avoid confrontations about beliefs, I'm just suggesting it for the benefit of everyone involved.
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 13:28   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

It both does and doesn't surprise me that such a board doesn't exist YET.

Does cos, we are supposed to be a caring forum anyway, and new members should feel they can trust the rest of us.

Doesn't because, I don't think ,we' haven't had that many issues that needed such in depth advice.

I for one, shall support this Idea 100%

But for a name, why not Serious Advice Center? (Wait SAC, that doesn't sound to good )
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 13:35   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

Well it's true we don't have a huge deal of issues, which could be in a few threads, bu, for example; The Venting thread is more of a "My wife left me - my life sucks" thread whereas this would be the place for "My wife left me - what do I do now?" thread. Also, enclave threads tend not to get noticed as much as maybe they should be.

Sometimes we don't always say just how bad our situation is, and having a place just for people at their worst points may make them feel like they're allowed to say everything. I feel, sometimes, like anything with the word enclave in it is not taken seriously enough until something really bad happens.

I can't help wondering if, if their were a specific, safe place, whether if all-father might have been able to "talk" to one or more of us before he dissapeared he might not have done it. I don't know. I'm not making any assumptions or judging him I'm just using that as an example.

Good to know you're For it Zackeh
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 13:46   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

The only problem with such an idea, is that very few of us are qualified psychiatrists or councillors. I mean, sure there are people who may have gone through the same things as you before, or people who can offer you advice, but they are generally only a personal opinion, and not a professional source of help.

I think as a forum we are a very caring community, and there are plenty of members I know (myself included) who are quite willing to hear people's problems or whatever and offer out advice. But said advice is only coming from another layman. There is no guarantee that following it will sort things out, and it could make things worse. Equally, some issues can be so deep that just talking to someone else isn't enough, and professional help may need to be found. In such cases, how will it affect the person asking for help when they get no response, or none that help them because those who do reply don't know what to do or say?

I think that, for minor problems and things, we do have the Venting thread, for anything more serious, we are not qualified as a forum to offer out advice.
Originally Posted by Yaifrog
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 13:47   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

What you say is true, but I think there is a level in between where a shared thread is not enough but professional help is not needed.

Edit time.

Being cluttered, in the VT things get ignored or not enough attention if they are quite serious. Also, a vent is something different from asking directly for help/advice.

I feel like shouting "I hate my family!" but that's not going to get the right kind of attention in the VT, maybe "move out" or "talk to them" or "just wait a few years then you can go to uni", which isn't the right kind. I don't need a councellor or psycologist, what I need is a friend. And my "biological friends" (real life) people are too close to my family...

As it happens my family aren't that much of a problem but if they were really like, how I feel they are sometimes, I would not go to the venting thread, I would start a topic or run away from home. But I can't find a place to start a topic in the right niche.

I do get what you're saying but I think there is a level in-between.
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 16:47   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

i agree with frisbee that sometimes if you have a problem you need the mask of your TO profile to speak to someone as in a sense most of us only know each other from here not in real life. So instead of not talking to anyone because you don't want the awkwardness/embarrassment/timidness of real life conversation you can use the Serious advice board to ask for help from people you don't mind knowing as youo will never meet them.

My 37.5pence.

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Old 06 Oct 2009, 22:19   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

I really don't want to sound harsh and uncaring, but I really do not think that such a board is appropriate for a forum such as ours.

This issue came up not too long ago and I pointed out then that this is a forum filled with warhammer 40k players, not professional psychiatrists. Generally speaking, as Hadhfang said, we are laypeople with layopinions and we are not qualified to offer special emotional support. And I would think it dishonest for us to offer a service which we are not qualified to give.

This whole idea is inspired by All-Father's situation, but - I have to be honest - I don't think that the existence of such a board would have made a blind bit of difference concerning his situation. He was not a new member to these forums. He was (and still is, thankfully) a longstanding member, who had been here for years, who had built up acquaintances and friendships and who was much respected and honoured. If he had asked us for advice and support he would have received it - and he would have known that. He didn't ask us for advice and support - not because there wasn't a separate board for him to go to - but because, for his own reasons, he simply chose not to.

In short, if someone feels in need of advice and support then by all means, let them post a thread in the Enclave. And I'm sure that people here will be more than happy to help. I don't think that anything else is necessary or desirable.
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 22:28   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

This is innappropriate for a number of reasons - main one sadly is legal.

Whilst I do not doubt your intentions Fris, or those of anyone else who wants to offer advice - the fact remains that we are a public board, and because we are not a registered advice board we cannot offer anything official.

Furthermore - any advice offered would come from people without qualifications and legal cover - leaving the site at risk, legally.

Imagine - we offer advice, and what if someone, on the basis of said advice does something harmful, or whatever. Parents see that he got his advice from forum - and now we have legal issues, law suits etc etc.

Whilst I know people have the best intentions - this isn't a simply chatroom, like MSN. Tau Online could get in serious problems were something to go wrong.

I hate to shout down against what is a nice idea, but its just not feasible. What people do or do not discuss over msn is one thing, but its not suitable for the forum.
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 22:55   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

I'd say that such a board isn't needed.


Well, take for example Gecko's "Thinking About Some Things" thread in the Enclave, very recently and still going.

"People don't notice the Enclave?"

We were on that like a shot, offering advice, condolences and simply being there. The Enclave is plenty enough, if you have a serious problem just make clear it's serious and people will help you seriously. Seriously.

So while your intentions are indeed noble, I don't think they're necessary.
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Old 06 Oct 2009, 23:57   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: New Board: Serious Advice & Assistance

I originaly suggested a depression sort of thread, the similar idea o this before. I ended up agreeing with everyone about the idea about it not being a good thing...

1. Whingers/Emos: We may end up with a heap of people complaining for the sake of it.
2. Negatives: Vilest worm said things like "You should just go out for a run, that'll cure it" as if depression was something that simple.
3. Conflicting arguments: If I posted my problems, then someone would suggest religion, and after I said I didn't want to follow that road, and they started pushing the idea, it'd get me more angry/depressed.
4. Competition: Some people would see the problems others bring up, and maybe might get hurt that noone posts about their problems but concentrate on someone elses. The only thing worse than having something go wrong is to have noone to support you when said thing goes wrong.
5. Attention: Some people are attention whores. They may just make up stuff so as to get attention. I'm not saying anyone would, but its possible.
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