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Champions Omega
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Old 17 Sep 2005, 03:29   #1 (permalink)
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Default Champions Omega

I am making a hobby of creating Space Marine Chapters, so here is my first one.


[size=50pt]Champions Omega[/size]

The Chapter was created to fend off the threat of a Tyranid Hive Fleet from the south that could create a problem for Holy Terra, thanks to the slowness of the Hive Fleet the chapter was finshed and was able to start setting up defences in the Nirvana system before the Tyranids appeared.

The Nirvana War began...

The Hive Fleet began it's war, beginning by invading the planet of Beta, the first battle against the Tyranids was in space as the Space marine and Imperial Fleet attacked the Hive Fleet. Several Tyranid ships esapced and started invading Beta and Alpha, but the Chapter and Imperial Guard were waiting...

The war lasted for many months, but finally ended with the Imperial Force retaking Alpha in the Siege of Gaylor, and the Imperial force took and breather. But they had only touched the Spear Head of the Hive Fleet.


Now the chapter basses on Omega, a Garden world that was attacked by a small Invading Tyranid force, which was cleansed.The Chapter was named the Champions Omega, but the chapter calls them self 'The Guard' The chapter recruits from the four planets of the Nirvana system, Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Omega. The chapter is used to ranged Shooting because of the Nirvana War. The Main body of the chapter has transports to get in a good line of fire, and when the enemy reaches the front lines the Veterans and Terminator squads supported by the Land Raiders and Whirlwinds break the attack.

The Chapter master was killed in the battle for Alpha, and now Commander Odin Raziorsword is the Chapter master. The Chapter is facing the theart of a Necron raiding fleet.

Traits:

Wise: Honour your Wargear: The chapter favors shooting above Close Combat, so the chapter trains its marines to be Good shots, the best go the Devastator Squads.

Die Standing: After the war, it left the Chapters fleet below the capitally number.
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"... and if machine spirit is not roused, the Lithany of Profanity should be spoken, followed by ritual striking of machine with one's fist. After which, depress the red rune again."

[taken from Adeptus Mechanicus manual]
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Old 17 Sep 2005, 03:35   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Champions Omega

Quite nice, but their were some loose ends. What was the Guard regiment? How did they lose their strength? I know they were in a war, but did the 1st compnay duke it out until the end like the ultramarines? Or was each chapter weakened by this? And also, explain why the whole chapter was in the war....very unusual. Marines almost never commit more than 3-5 companies into one conflict. Also, you jumped from the beggining of the war to the end.

Something else seems missing, but I'm not sure what...anyway, good overall.
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Old 18 Sep 2005, 04:19   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Champions Omega

Quote:
Originally Posted by SMRCommander
Quite nice, but their were some loose ends.* What was the Guard regiment?* How did they lose their strength?* I know they were in a war, but did the 1st compnay duke it out until the end like the ultramarines?* Or was each chapter weakened by this?* And also, explain why the whole chapter was in the war....very unusual.* Marines almost never commit more than 3-5 companies into one conflict.* Also, you jumped from the beggining of the war to the end.

Something else seems missing, but I'm not sure what...anyway, good overall.
Most of this lose ends are going to be fixed in the fluff I am writing, I don't want to spoil the whole story


Thank you for your time.
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"... and if machine spirit is not roused, the Lithany of Profanity should be spoken, followed by ritual striking of machine with one's fist. After which, depress the red rune again."

[taken from Adeptus Mechanicus manual]
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Old 19 Sep 2005, 01:30   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Champions Omega

ok...cant wait.
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