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My space marine chapter. ( warning, multiple pictures)
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Old 04 May 2007, 21:08   #1 (permalink)
Shas'Vre
 
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Default My space marine chapter. ( warning, multiple pictures)

Now I know theres a company thing up there, but I don't have any pictures, and It isn't a company, its a chapter! So I just got done typing all my chapter info from the paper to the laptop. I just thought you might like reading it. Now there is a pic down there somewhere, of the icon on there shoulder. Please excuse its crappy ness. I drew it with a laptop mouse pad, and theres no colour. but just imagine a burning pot with jewels and flames spewing out of it, with the banned gold, and the pot itself a dark blueish colour. the jewels are red. So here goes, heres my chapter. Its not completely done, I still need captain names. if anyone has a suggestion, please commet.




Chapter name: Emporers Beacon

Significant Divergence

Traits: Stern & Zealous( Cleanse & Purify, Uphold the honour of the Emperor)

Drawbacks: Eye to Eye, Faithful unto Death

Names of those all holy:

Chapter Master: Daecious Astevil

1st Company: Captain
2nd Company: Captain
3rd Company: Captain Mulavex Stell
4th Company: Captain
5th Company: Captain
6th Company: Captain
7th Company: Captain
8th Company: Captain
9th Company: Captain
10th Company: Captain

Home world: Chardon IV

History: This planet sits on the edge of the Mordant zone, directly in between Attilla and the cardinal world San Leor. Having one distant sun, and no moons, this planets surface is almost dark. At its brightest, it looks like mid morning, and during the deep night, its almost impossible to see your hand in front of your face, even with stars out. The days are very short, only having 9 hours of light, and 17 hours of darkness. It sits in the Chardon system, with five other planets, two being the only hospitable ones. Charadon IV, being the chapters home world, and Charadon III, an imperial hive world.
The world looks like a cardinal planet, with shrines, temples, citadels, and other religious places covering most of its surface. The Monastery of the chapter is settled in between two mountains, on a vast tundra like plane.
The chapter was established during the second founding, its original geneseed hailing from the ultra marines. But years of strife, war, and isolation had let to corruption within the seed, and mutated it, to a deadly affect. Reports have come in that recruit's from this chapter displayed seizure like affects shortly after being inducted and implanted with their second heart. A mutation in the gene has made it so hours after this organ is implanted, the host spasms with random muscle contractions, and violently falls onto the ground, and dies minutes later. It has been estimated that 1 out of every 100 marines inducted, die like this. Those who survive the night they get this implant, suffer no other abnormalities. They believe this separates the weak, impressionable recruits from the strong, iron minded ones, who have a firm belief in the emporer.
Hundreds of years after the inhabiting of the chardon system, a newly bred and raised WAAAGH! attacked.
They came straight though the Chardon system, and leaked into other surrounding systems as well. Chardon III was hit hard and fast, and almost caught the Planetary Defense Force off guard. They briskly set up make shift defenses, and held off the ork invasion at its drop sites. But they couldn't hold out for much longer. The orks were slowly chipping away at the defenses, and gaining ground. Eventually they would break through and ravage the planet, if something didn't happen. They could only hold on for only 10 months time, at most. Chardon IV was lucky though, messages got through from Chardon III that orks had landed, and they had time to set up defenses and send interceptors to fight them in space, before they made land fall.They were attacked by an equally strong force of green skins. The Emporers Beacon was able to get one strike cruiser off the ground before space travel was to risky due to the ork roks cluttering the sky. That Cruiser was holding 4th company, which was sent to Chardon III to ease the attack of the orks, before the planet fell. The orks that were on the first wave of the invasion on Chardon IV were brave, and charged out, straight into the guns of the waiting marines. But the marines were all ready for them, and slaughtered the orks wave by bloody wave,with the wrath of the emporer, using many flamers, meltas, and plasmas, to force them off the planet. War was fought for only three Month's time due to the superior defenses and war machines of a home world, and every last ork was found and killed. This was a must, as to contain and make sure that not one ork would be able to pro-create behing a rock and start up another WAAAGH!. Then the ships were burned and destroyed, making sure no ork could sneak back into space. Quickly, they disposed of the burned out husks of ork ships and loaded up a battle barge with 3rd, 2nd, and 7th companies on board.
Each company was at full strength, thanks to the reserves from 6th and 8th. They knew they could get there in time to the planet, it only taking four or five days to get there. About three days into there travel though, the found something horrible. The floating craft of the " Reviler", 4th company's cruiser, was found. It was quickly boarded and searched, only to find three Marines, wounded but alive. They told stories about how they were hit by an ork ship straight in the side. It rammed them, and dug a deep hole as to let the orks board and fight on the Reviler. Explosions and gunfire rocked the ship, but about twenty minutes into the battle, the ork ship exploded, most likely due to the boarding technique they used rupturing many important fuel or hydrolics lines. A large gash was blown into the Reviler, and that killed more orks and marines than the battle itself. Hundreds of bodies were sucked out into space, and quickly a section was sealed off, and this is where they found them. Quickly they were brough on board of the battle barge, and the dead were rounded up. They still headed out towards Chardon III, repairing the armour of the dead and tending to the wounded.
When they got into view of Chardon III, they first found a field of destroyed ork ships, with a wrecked orbital defense system, still all floating around. If it wasn't for the massive losses the orks took in space, the planet would of surely fell within months of invasion. The ship circled the planet, and found the orks battle barge, which they bombarded with ordinance, and quickly destroyed. Soon after Emporers Beacon had made land fall, and seen battles raging on as they fell, in the middle of Oris, the capital of Chardon III.The orks original rok landing was in a city called Merial, which was 4,000 miles away from Oris. The Emporers Beacon landed behind the orks, who were in full route of the Imperials, who just won a decisive battle in Oris, holding the city. Together they crushed the retreating orks and killed them to the last one. Relieved to see the Emporers Beacon the PDF fought with renewed vigour, and together they drove the orks back to merial, winning each decisive battle in a complete route. three years later after the landfall of the marines, the orks were killed, and there bodies, along with the ships, items, and some towns were burned to the ground, ridding everything of ork filth. The win wasn't a complete slaughter though, the marines suffered grievous losses, with 4th company being utterly destroyed, 2nd and 3rd companies at 3/4 strength, and 7th and 6th at 1/2 strength. They all returned to Chardon IV, except for 3rd company, which remained behind to watch over the planet for any more Xenos. 4 months past with the declaration that the planet was safe, and they returned home. Slowly, the ranks of the marines are recovering, and still, they fight with the extreme belief in that no matter what happens, a strong belief in the emporer will bring you victory, no matter what.

quick over view: The emperors Beacon strongly believe in the emperor, and that pure strength and fortitude will bring you through in the end. They almost always use meltas, plasmas, and flamers, and almost never use power swords, power fists, or any other power weapons, believing in that the chainsword is just as good as any power weapon out there. And only marines of high rank and power should use one of those weapons, so only the Captains, chaplains, and others of such high rank wield power weapons.

Company Colours:

(veteran) 1st Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with skull white border
2nd Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Red gore border
3rd Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Ultra Marines blue border
4th Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Codex grey border
5th Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Scab red border
6th Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Dark angels green border
7th Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Blood red border
8th Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Snot green border
9th Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad with Sun burst yellow border
10th Company: Midnight blue shoulder pad


Army colours ( the colour I will paint my marines)

Armour colour: Midnight blue

Shoulder border: Ultra marines blue

Sergeant helm: Red Gore

Veteran Sergent helm: Golden Yellow

Veteran marine helm: blood red

Bolter colour: Black, Boltgun metal

eagle: gold? silver?




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"...And in that time of darkness, man became beast and beast became man."


"Horn and hoof, power is there. Not feeble smoothskin, clumsy greenskin, wicked elf-swine. Gor is strong, Gor is true. Gor shall kill all, slay all for the gods!"

Beastlord Gorthor




Survivor of the 06' Battle Royale!
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Old 04 May 2007, 22:21   #2 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 658
Default Re: My space marine chapter.

in your fluff, time times are way off, the time it takes to get from one system to another is a few days, travelling in system is from a few hours to a few days. but great fluff, well organized, i'd like to see some pictures.
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Quote:
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I would like the bare legs a bit better if they weren't belonging to a old woman with Grey Hair.

Kinda wrong.
I agree with that, at least try to make her look hot and young!

Anyways, dont give toasty any ideas, he already loves his Sisters too much....
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Old 04 May 2007, 23:54   #3 (permalink)
Shas'Vre
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter.

Where did you read that it takes that long? I'd like to read it, and then I would probably change it around a bit. Thanks though for the info, I wasnt sure how long it would of taken, so i just slapped months down. It seemed like a right amount of time, if ya didnt know what to put down. Years seemed a little to long, and weeks a little to short; even though it takes only hours lol.

Oh and to the pictures, I dont even have any models of these guys yet >.< I still have to buy them and start collecting. But I wanted to start a very fluffy army. I dont think this would do to well vs a PG army, or a tourney list or something, but It would still be fun to make.
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"...And in that time of darkness, man became beast and beast became man."


"Horn and hoof, power is there. Not feeble smoothskin, clumsy greenskin, wicked elf-swine. Gor is strong, Gor is true. Gor shall kill all, slay all for the gods!"

Beastlord Gorthor




Survivor of the 06' Battle Royale!
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Old 05 May 2007, 00:06   #4 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter.

It would probably take days to travel between in-system planets; Warp travel takes in the months, but that covers several light years per jump.
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Old 05 May 2007, 00:35   #5 (permalink)
Shas'Vre
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter.

oh alright, I'll change the time thing later on too. I also changed the traits, as I had two to many. I think these fit better though with the fluff.
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"...And in that time of darkness, man became beast and beast became man."


"Horn and hoof, power is there. Not feeble smoothskin, clumsy greenskin, wicked elf-swine. Gor is strong, Gor is true. Gor shall kill all, slay all for the gods!"

Beastlord Gorthor




Survivor of the 06' Battle Royale!
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Old 05 May 2007, 01:36   #6 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter.

Nicely done. Some grammar problems and some spelling goof-ups, but it looks good.

Handful of comments/complaints:
1. I don't really like the name. I thought it was a ship at first, not the Chapter's name. Maybe something along the lines of Emperors Beacons or something a little more concrete than 'Guidance.'

2. I love the inclusion of the Waaagh. It's a proven fact that it's impossible to have good fluff withought a good ole' Waaagh or two.

3. It's a true pain in the rear to remove Orks from a planet. Once they touch down, you better be ready for a never ending fight. You said the battle for Chardon III took some time, so I'm sure that they are pretty badly infested with a good number of first/second generation Feral Tribes.

4. The Dark Eldar thing was a little random for my tastes. Unless it reflects an in-game experience, I'd drop it.

5. As Edraik and Novae pointed out, your travel times are a little off.

6. (Ok, a little over a handful; a mutant handful I lied.) I liked the part where you burned all that stuff on Chardon III. Who doesn't love burning "there bodies, along with the ships, items, and some town." Beautiful use of fire. ;D

Nice work,

-Grandpa Ducky
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Old 05 May 2007, 02:09   #7 (permalink)
Shas'Vre
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter.

;D Thanks for the comments, the more the better! And emporers beacons sounds better, befitting the whole " One bright burning flame in a galaxy of perpetual darkness" kinda thing. Fits with there emblem too. I wanted to give them a feeling of " we're beaten, battered, and half dead, but never ready to quit and will fight on for the emporer, no matter what" kinda feeling.* And yeah, I have one friend who plays DE, and when I used to play space marines, he was one of the only ones i played, and then i quit them for TAU. So I thought they were a good choice to incorperate. Plus having something like that could be a foreshadowing of what is to come, say more raids and what-not which means more stories to write/battles to play for the Charadon system! Or I can change the whole DE thing to " ork space ships collided on the broadsides, ripped giant holes in it,and boarded what was left, leaving it a giant floating grave for both SM's and greenskins." I kinda like that idea too, keeps it consistant with the story. Also about the battles and removing the orks, they fought for* years on Charadon III, and three or four months on Charadon IV. It was quicker on Charadon IV because they were ready for the drops, and could contain it much quicker than the Imperial run world of Charadon III. I have one comment though, Does Charadon sound to much like somethign else? Novae told me that there was something much like it, that was in ork space and was close to the Ultra marines home world. Oh, and yes, I thought the firey orks were a nice touch =D

* just checked up on it* Dammit! theres already something called Charadon, and its in ork space. I think I might need to change the name of it. if your wondering what im talking about, check out pg. 110 in the rule book, and look in the Mordant zone, I think i'll just change the name to "Chardon" instead of " Charadon" since Grandpa-ducky likes spelling it that way* * =P

*edit* alright, I changed the name around to Beacon instead of Guidance, Chardon instead of Charadon, and I changed the DE part to an ork one, and I threw some other stuff in there, which I think made it a little funnier. Fixed some spelling, and grammatical things, and made the story flow better by changing some words around, and changed the time too.
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"...And in that time of darkness, man became beast and beast became man."


"Horn and hoof, power is there. Not feeble smoothskin, clumsy greenskin, wicked elf-swine. Gor is strong, Gor is true. Gor shall kill all, slay all for the gods!"

Beastlord Gorthor




Survivor of the 06' Battle Royale!
Grunt90 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06 May 2007, 16:57   #8 (permalink)
Shas'Vre
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter.

( sry for the double post, but I want to just say one quick thing)

I got the picture in colour now, and fixed it up a bit, so it looks a lot better than before. Does anyone have any suggestions on names, pictures, or fluff? I'll gladly change some things around if it fits well into what is already there.


I also put a picture of the Chardon sun system up there. Just to get a general Idea of what it all looks like.
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"...And in that time of darkness, man became beast and beast became man."


"Horn and hoof, power is there. Not feeble smoothskin, clumsy greenskin, wicked elf-swine. Gor is strong, Gor is true. Gor shall kill all, slay all for the gods!"

Beastlord Gorthor




Survivor of the 06' Battle Royale!
Grunt90 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07 May 2007, 05:34   #9 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter. ( warning, multiple pictures)

Glad I could be a positive influence. ;D

I look forward to seeing some marines, your color scheme looks pretty solid. For the Aquilla, I'd go with a gold, probably. I think the silver would contrast too much. (Sorry I missed that in my last post)

Best of luck with your new chapter and make sure to show us some pictures!

-Grandpa Ducky

(By the way, I love seeing more of da boyz in there. Very nice job.)
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Old 07 May 2007, 11:15   #10 (permalink)
Shas'Vre
 
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Default Re: My space marine chapter. ( warning, multiple pictures)

Right, thans, gold it is then! I'll try an get some pictures up within the next week, I have one marine model that I can paint, and I just need to get ahold of some ultra marines blue, and some others. But im getting paid this week so maybe I could head over to the hobby shop and buy some things...
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"...And in that time of darkness, man became beast and beast became man."


"Horn and hoof, power is there. Not feeble smoothskin, clumsy greenskin, wicked elf-swine. Gor is strong, Gor is true. Gor shall kill all, slay all for the gods!"

Beastlord Gorthor




Survivor of the 06' Battle Royale!
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