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my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)
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Old 13 Jan 2006, 15:52   #1 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

ive just written some fluff on my chapter and wanted your opinions. SMurf fluff isnt my strong point so please point out any inaccuracies or any suggestions. or pretty much anything you think i should know or feel like telling me about my fluff. so here goes:
Name: The Crimson Tears
Founding Chapter/Primarch: BlackTemplars/Rogal Dorn
Homeworld and Location: Selva, Eastern Fringe
Specialisation: Close Combat, Xenos Hunters: Tryranids

Imagery: Medevil Warrior monks, 3rd Crusade Templars

The Crimson Tears were a successor chapter of the black templars, their creation demanded by the Administratum(or whoever it is that takes in their gene seed tithes) who feared the black templar
chapter had too many battle brothers for a single man to command.

After their creation they The Teutons(as they where called at the time) chose a planet on the eastern fringe has their homeworld. The planet had a single, jungle covered super continent, inhabitated by half feral humans. At the center of the continent stood a mountain where they constructed their fortress. from there they would recruit their neophytes and launch their first eternal crusade to prove the emperor thier worth. To facilitate the creation of this new chapter the black templars designated a crusading company as the start for their new chapter. This would make it easier since the comapany had everything they needed to to grow, and it would allow the black templars to dontinue on their campaign inhindered.

The Chapter is led by Elessar, who was emperors chapion of the crusade before the chapter was formed. At the founding Elessar saw that for the new chapter to prosper the old doctrine of the black templars would have to be changed. For one Elessar didn't believe in the supicius views of the templars towards psykers, seeing their aid invaluable with tyranids so close. So recruitment of these cursed individuals began immediatly from the local population and the IG regiment present on the planet(which wasn't much different from the rest of the warriors on that planet).

Many years later hive fleet leviathan presented itself, and Elessar decided that this was the time for the chapter to prove itself, the small 'pest control' campaigns they had undertaken, would pale in comparison to this. The entire chapter was assembeled on Selva and their battle barges readied. But before the chapter could throw itself into the maw of leviathan, the maw closed on them. hive fleet leviathan greedily threw itself, seeing nothing but the billions of tonnes of jungle biomass. The chapters librarians where young and inexperianced, but they should have been able to detect the fleet much earlier. Elessar didn't dwel on this and immediatly ordered the entire chapter to launch into space to intercept the in coming tyranid ships. Leaving only a handful of brothers and the faithful inhabitants of the planet to defend the fortress. Chapter Master Elessar ordered the chapters monastery barge(much smaller than anything else other chapters might have) to the biggest tyranid vessel hoping to destroy it quiclky while the rest of the ships occupied the rest of the force. The chapters librarians guided the ships through the warp to the incoming hive tendrill, but when the ships emerged from warp they were scattered and disarrayed, and the hive fleet closed and bordered them with esse. the first barges fell within a matter of hours, but the monastery lasted out for three days.

All contact with selva had been lost at this point, and when Elessar tried to contact the cheif librarian he was nowhere to be found. All of the chapters librarians had been on a single ship, the merciless, which fell within minutes of emerging from warp. But Elessar knew the truth, the chapter had been betrayed.

Filled with rage he summoned his command squad to him, and armed with the chapters only terminator suits he teleported unto the merciless. Elessar and his battle brothers marched strait to the bridge, and blew their way in. The sight that he beheld disgusted him, and filled him with a rage and urge to destroy only the balck templars can summon. And their ammong the corrupted shrines stood the chief librarian, his face mutated almost beyond recognition.

Elessar threw himself at him attacking in a blind rage, his lightning claws striking again and again. During this mealstorm the birdge was over run with genestealers and the remains of the mutated librarians. the terminators fought valiantly, but they where severly out numbered. Over coming his rage Elessar saw that he could not win the fight without being over run, so he locked the librarian in combat, and activated his Orb of Antioch, but he did not count on how severly mutated the librarian was. from beneth the folds of his cloak emerge two arms, each tipped with three razor sharp claws that dug into his terminator armour and ripped open his chest. dropping the orb the terminators teleported back to the monastery barge, which at this point had ben alsmot over-run.

Elessar ordered all ships to disengage and return to Selva, fearing what the treachery had wrought upon their jungle planet. The chapters ships traveled through the warp while battling the infestation within, trying to stop the tryanid presence on board from distrupting their navigation. During this travel the marshals of the chapter decided that their chapter master needed to be saved, losing him would be a devastating blow to such a young chapter. So the chapter masters body was locked up forever.

When the ships emerged from warp the home planet of the chapter was completely over run, only the fortress remaining. Elessar knew the ships couldnt be cleansed before the fortress whas over-run, so the ships were abbandoned, the surviving battle brothers entering the drop pods, and throwing themselves into the seething mass of chitin that surrounded the fortress.

The drop pods rained down unto the battlefield surrounded by the growing explosion of their detonated battle barges. who sacrificed themselves to buy the battle bothers more time. and like angels of death they fell upon the tyranids, each man killing dozens with each swing of the sword. they wadded through the bodies, never tireing and filled with the rage of a betrayed brother.

The Giant gates of the fortress monastery swung open, marines charging out in a futile attempt to join with there allies. accompanied by neophytes servitors and the refugees that hid in the fortress they ploughed on, dieying in their hundreds, killing in their millions. but it was not enough

The greed of the hivemind could not be satiated until everything was dead and consumed, and the living tide surged on. but then the Emperor decided to show mercy on his faithful servants, just as the hivemind began to laugh in the joy of victory, thousands of imperial ships emerged from warp. Their cannons began to thunder at the hive ships, their turrets screaming out death to any interceptors unlucky enough to be within range.

The ships easily ripped through the organic fleet preparing to make land fall. Their casualties where high but they were teremined to succed. and as the drop ships landed the sight they beheld would be one never forgotten in the history of this chapter. a sea of monstrous creauters surrounded the fortress, and amids the swarm where the tall figures of the space marines, backed all the way to the fortress gates, which stood open, defying the will of the hive mind. and in the middle of this battle stood tall abve the rest, the chapter master, the venerable dreadnaught Elessar.

The tyranids where easily roughted with the combined forces of the Imperial guard and the Imperial Fist's 6th company, but the once beautiful planet was reduced to arid wastelands, and the once proud chapter almost destroyed. And so painful was weeping at this loss, and at tehir betrayel that the chapter was disbanded, and a new one founded. The Crimson Tears.

And with this new founding came new wisdom, new understanding, and a deep haterid towards spykers. A grudge the Crimson Tears carry to this day, never recruiting psykers and refusing to fight with librarians of other chapters. So they have set of on an enternal crusade, seeking to destroy that which ruined their homeworld, and threatens to engulf the rest of the Imperium.

Special Rules:

The few, the proud, the Crimson tears.
the Crimson Tears are a small chapter chapter that have been almost wiped out. The following units are 0-1 in a crimson tear army:
Dreadnaughts
Terminator Assault squads
Veteran Squads
The following units may not be selected at all:
Terminator Squads
Terminator Command Squads
Crimson Tears armies may not take terminator armour, relics or artefacts from the armour. Also all Crimson tears models cost 1 more point than normal.

Head first, guns blazing.
Any crimson tear space marine may exhange his bolter for a boltpistol and chainsword for free.

They'll pay, they'll all pay for it.
Crimson Tears hate tyranids in any of their forms and their minds focu completely with the sole purpose of killing them. When fighting tryanid models Crimson Tears will always hit on 3s(doesn't count for servitors, and does not apply when rolling against monstruos creatures)

Never again shall we trust.
The Crimson tears where dealt a huge blow by the betrayal of their librarians and will never again recruit or train spykers and refuse to fight along side them. Crimson Tears may never be led by librarians or fight with psykic allies.

Special Characters:

Chapter Master Elessar

188 points

WS BS Front Side Rear I S A Ld
5 5 12 12 12 5 6(10) 4(5) 10
Chapter Master Elessar is encased in a Furioso Pattern Dreadnaught and therefor counts as having two dreadnaught closecombat weapons(extra attack included), one of which has an underslong heavy flamer and the other a meltagun.

Special Rules:

Rites of Battle:
From inside his dreadnaught Elessar can lead his chapter to battle without fear of anything directing attacks will battering his way through the enemy forces. Aslong as Elessar is on the battlefield all Space Marine Squads may use his leadership value for all tests.

Furious Assualt

Tear Attack: When attacking a vechile Elessar can combine his dreadnaght arms to litterally tear vehicles appart and torch and crew within. when rolling armour penetration Elessar rolls 2D6

The Oldest:
First as emperors champion of the black templars and now as chapter master of the Crimson Tears Elessar has seen almost every battlefield imginable and knows how to react to every situation. Elessar counts as a Venerable Dreadnaught.

Bascily he is a Venerable Furioso with furios assault skill.(which costs 125 normal) then i added attacks(3 for being chapter master,1 for terminator honours and 1 for the extra weapon) and lastly i gave him rites of battle since he is a commander.
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Old 13 Jan 2006, 15:57   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

OOOh! I love fluff on custom chapters.
I'll post mine later this week! ;D
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Old 13 Jan 2006, 16:32   #3 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

It's really good! But after suffering so many losses are the newly formed Crimson Tears going to be able to sustain any manner of crusade?

Perhaps you should take the 'Have faith in suspicion' major drawback and the 'Aspire to glory' minor drawback? They seem to suit you chapter and then you get to pick two different advantages from any two different traits.

Perhaps the Imperial Fists should come to their aid instead of the Ultramarine's 6th? They are their brothers/ancestors as it were and it would seem appropriate, given the Fist's extreme mobility and orbital assault specialisation (by way of their massive fortress-monestary ship the Phalanx).

Excellant fluff though and a shakey start for any Chapter. Does revered brother Elessar still command the Crimson Tears?
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Old 13 Jan 2006, 17:58   #4 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Norman
It's really good! But after suffering so many losses are the newly formed Crimson Tears going to be able to sustain any manner of crusade?
aslong as there is a single brother left the crusade will go on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Norman
Perhaps you should take the 'Have faith in suspicion' major drawback and the 'Aspire to glory' minor drawback? They seem to suit you chapter and then you get to pick two different advantages from any two different traits.
i was thinking of either taking, take the fight to them, and xenos hunters:tyranids, have faith in suspicion and aspire to glory, if not id just use the normal black templar rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Norman
Perhaps the Imperial Fists should come to their aid instead of the Ultramarine's 6th? They are their brothers/ancestors as it were and it would seem appropriate, given the Fist's extreme mobility and orbital assault specialisation (by way of their massive fortress-monestary ship the Phalanx).
good idea, ill do that
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Norman
Excellant fluff though and a shakey start for any Chapter. Does revered brother Elessar still command the Crimson Tears?
yep, made a model and special rules for him. he's basically a venerable furioso dreadnought with weapon and basistic skill 5 and 3 attacks. all i need for him is a points cost.

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Old 13 Jan 2006, 18:58   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

I'll have to post my Chapter fluff up now, just to outdo you. :
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Old 13 Jan 2006, 20:30   #6 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

Ive made some changes(imperial fists instead of ultra marines) and added special rules. They are prettymuch traits reworded. ive also added a special character, but i still need a points cost for him.
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Old 16 Jan 2006, 09:57   #7 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

155 points for the basic Venerable Furioso with the modified stats (relax, not an official points cost; just my estimation)...but then you've gotta add points for any special rules you make for him.

Special Rules:

"Maniacal glee" - Those battle brothers close to their great and illustrious chapter master regard their leader with a mix of awe, reverence and an uneasy sensation of alarm.* The reason for this is not entirely irrational...Revered brother Elessar takes a perverse pleasure in causing mayhem on the battlefield.* While the swirling melee of close quarters battle is a veritable jukebox of gunfire, screaming and clashing metal, is it often accompanied by an eerie chuckling as the mighty Elessar rampages through combat whirling, kicking and stomping on the foes of mankind, burning all in his path with sinister delight.* For each hit scored by Elessar* in close combat (except against vehicles and monsterous creatures), he may make an additional attack.

;D
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colonel_Sanders
When all was finished, the battlefield was a smoking crater. UDC, Valoran, US Army, Tau, the Nazis, a random pirate ship, and a bunch of ninjas, all were enemies to the Vulture. All were turned into scrap metal. Or plastic. Depends which game system you play.
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Old 16 Jan 2006, 15:53   #8 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

its a cool rule but itll make my dreadnaught astronomically expenisve, since he going to churn out half a dozen hits a turn. sofar the only rules i ahve its Rites of Battle. since he's a marine commander its only fair he have it aswell. imthinking ill make him round 200sih points
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Old 16 Jan 2006, 16:02   #9 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: my chapter fluff(warning, big long bad written story)

Oh, I was only kidding anyway, bud. The idea of an enraged/slightly potty dreadnaught chuckling merrily as it exterminates lesser combatants has been a common theme in my last few games. Many an Aspect Warrior has been ruthly burnt alive by combined heavy flamer fire.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colonel_Sanders
When all was finished, the battlefield was a smoking crater. UDC, Valoran, US Army, Tau, the Nazis, a random pirate ship, and a bunch of ninjas, all were enemies to the Vulture. All were turned into scrap metal. Or plastic. Depends which game system you play.
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