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Codex Vespid (unofficial)
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Old 15 Nov 2006, 15:30   #1 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Codex Vespid (unofficial)

I have recently writen an unofficial codex vespid, see vespid list on the minor race forum, this can be found on my website at
http://www.tristanworld.com/0_second...odexvespid.PDF

I will be updating it so watch this space.
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Old 17 Nov 2006, 21:57   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

Nice for a WIP but a bit hard to read.
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I would like the bare legs a bit better if they weren't belonging to a old woman with Grey Hair.

Kinda wrong.
I agree with that, at least try to make her look hot and young!

Anyways, dont give toasty any ideas, he already loves his Sisters too much....
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Old 18 Nov 2006, 09:51   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

OK, what's hard to read about, just want to know so I can fix it!

The punctuation is wrong but I'm going to update it soon now my Mum's proofread it.
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Old 18 Nov 2006, 15:31   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

Just the "plot" like these "Yr'Kron" things.
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"all people who wear to much black are emo in my eyes" - me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonely Tau
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avor
I would like the bare legs a bit better if they weren't belonging to a old woman with Grey Hair.

Kinda wrong.
I agree with that, at least try to make her look hot and young!

Anyways, dont give toasty any ideas, he already loves his Sisters too much....
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Old 18 Nov 2006, 20:58   #5 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

Yr'Kron is one Vespid, an Old one who took over a warrior hive. I needed a special character and this is what I came up with.
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For more webcomics like this please visit my website.

http://www.tristanworld.com


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Old 20 Nov 2006, 11:39   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

Phew, where to start?

Firstly, wow. You have put in enourmous effort, and done a mighty fine job, however, there are a few points:

Weapons: I do believe it would be better to stick to the more established weapon stats for most guns, and only have a couple of whacky/special rule heavy ones.

Vehicles: not bad, not overpowered, seem like they would work.

Units: again, don't seem to be too overpowered, but stuff like the "Old ones" I'd change the name of. We already have old ones in the fluff, so it would be better if they had a better name.

Fluff: This is what lets it down, IMO. You seem to be going against established fluff, and making out that they are more like the kroot. Bear in mind, the Tau did not "beg" the vespid to join, nor did they give them space travel technology. Also, the Tau do not use genetic modification to make new units, any units other than stingwings would have been evolved on the planet bythe vespid themselves.
Communion helm. There was no prolonged contact/alliance with the vespid prior to the development of the communion helm, this device was developed to allow communication between the very different mind sets, so would have been a matter of months, while negotiations were ongoing, not a long time past. Nor would their be "rebel vespid" who didn't want it - it is merely a communicating device. Bear in mind, again, the hive like nature of the vespid is very similar to the greater good, so each race's ideology matches well.

There's not really any other useful/intelligent life on vespid, other than well, the vespids, so them enslaving all others doesn't really mesh. The sky whales, I absolutely love, very nice touch.

I know I've said it, but again, the Tau did not "plead" for the hives to join, they made the same offer/request they make with anyone, and because the vespid ideology (hive before you) fitted so well, they joined. They did not, reluctantly or otherwise, give them starship technology.

Again to what I mentioned about the communion helms above. Independance from the communion helms? Thats like saying you want independance from google translator, but to still talk to a french person....

Until the coming of the Tau, the vespid were unable to utilise the crystals as a weapon, to them they were a power generating source, but not one that could be stabilised enough to use as weapons. It was only the collaboration between Fio and worker drones that allowed it to be used in weapons. Before, their technology was akin to advanced slug throwers, and other projectile weapons.

Quote:
Princes are the only males with breeding rights in
a warrior hive and as such only the largest male
Vespid are allowed to become them.
Good, very good. The point to remember with vespid, is they are a hive, so this is good to keep in the fluff.

Lastly, stop making them into kroot. The way you have them "splitting off and still fighting across the galaxy is too similar to kroot. Remember, Vespid are fully and utterly integrated to the empire.

Also, I think you have made a sterling effort on this - the layout is nice, the units are not overpowered, probably the opposite to be honest. I'm not a fan of the weapons, as they are too random and special rule heavy, but they aren't gonna swing the game in one shot, so they are ok.

The thing I really dislike, is the fluff. No offence, but it reads like a fanboy fiction - "I like race X, but they have to be the best, so they rebel and become uber!11!!!11!!"

I know that was probably not your intention, but it would have been better if you had stuck to what we already know about the vespid, rather than completely going against all we already know about them.

Over all, I give it 7/10. It would have been 8, if not 9, had the fluff been better, but thats just my opinion. Its still a very well designed dex. Kudos for putting the effort in to make it look like a real dex as well
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Old 21 Nov 2006, 21:58   #7 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forbidden knowledge, the shadow ninja rabbit!
Phew, where to start?

Until the coming of the Tau, the vespid were unable to utilise the crystals as a weapon, to them they were a power generating source, but not one that could be stabilised enough to use as weapons.
this is wrong. the dex mentions that a full scale war would be "undesirable". so i would assume that the vespid used them as weapons but where not ultra-efficeint.
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Old 21 Nov 2006, 22:18   #8 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

You humanize vespid, very good. Also call the "old ones" the wrinkly twos!
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"all people who wear to much black are emo in my eyes" - me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonely Tau
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avor
I would like the bare legs a bit better if they weren't belonging to a old woman with Grey Hair.

Kinda wrong.
I agree with that, at least try to make her look hot and young!

Anyways, dont give toasty any ideas, he already loves his Sisters too much....
edraik is offline  
Old 22 Nov 2006, 09:35   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

Quote:
Originally Posted by dragoniccam
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forbidden knowledge, the shadow ninja rabbit!
Phew, where to start?

Until the coming of the Tau, the vespid were unable to utilise the crystals as a weapon, to them they were a power generating source, but not one that could be stabilised enough to use as weapons.
this is wrong. the dex mentions that a full scale war would be "undesirable". so i would assume that the vespid used them as weapons but where not ultra-efficeint.
As they were using conventional weapons, mainly. While the crystals in the power generator state, could be used as a weapon (think nuclear power > nuclear weapons) they did not have the technology to make them into a "gun" so to speak, any more than we do to make a nuke rifle.
They were at a comparable state, technology wise, to use, but using the crystals instead of atomic. Would world wide nuclear war be desirable for us?
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Old 22 Nov 2006, 13:47   #10 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: Codex Vespid (unofficial)

A couple suggestions:

1 - A living creature should not have an armour value. If its alive it should have a toughness. If it's an armoured vehichle give it armour value.

2 - the unit that flys, has and have 4 rending attacks a piece is to powerful.

3 - as has been mentioned random weapon stats (especiallly for a whole unit) are just a pain. Make them standarized.
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