Iron Warriors at the beach:
- My sandcastle is bigger than yours!
- No it isn't!
- Yes it is, and it has lascannons here and here, and these are missile launchers!
- Well mine's got that as well, and a moat full of skulls and barbed wire!
- Your lascannons aren't placed at the right spots! What if the enemy attacked here? Or here? Or put heavy fire on this wall? You'd have to concentrate the fire on that area over by the seashell, while your terminators got into position over by that piece of seaweed. And barbed wire placed over there isn't gonna slow the enemy down! You’ve gotta put another turret on this spot here, next to the dead starfish, and have warriors standing ready over here in case of a breakthrough. And what if that crab over there assaulted this wall?
How many inquisitors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the light bulb, one to outlaw light bulbs and one to erase all records of light bulbs having existed.
A Blood Angel Commander, an Ultramarine Commander and a Cadian Commissar are having bragging about how brave and loyal their troops are and they decide to have a test to see who has the bravest troops. The Blood Angel commander calls one of his troops and commands him to jump into the ship's engine. The Blood Angel immediately obeys and jumps, dying and creating a bloody mess. The Blood Angel commander cheers: "Hah! That took bravery!"
The Ultramarine commander calls one of his troops and orders him to jump off the ship they are on. The Ultramarine instantly obeys and jumps off the ship, never to be seen again. The Ultramarine commander cheers: "Hah! That took bravery!"
The commissar calls one of the guardsmen in the platoon he is attached to, hands him a plasma pistol and orders him to shoot himself in the head. The guardsman shakes a little, trembles, hesitates then says: "No sir, I can't do it..."
The Commissar grins at the Space Marine commanders: "Now that is what I call bravery!"
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Topic: 40k Humour (Read 25008 times)