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the "fightin' 1st' of Shyre VII
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Old 04 Feb 2006, 08:35   #1 (permalink)
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Default the "fightin' 1st' of Shyre VII

l Let me begin with an apology for the name of this thread. The reason will become clear in a moment.

some of you may remember my 'good old boys' army I posted. (they have yet to see table but Dave McCoy with his dad's master crafted lasgun and all his friends are just rearin for a hodown as soon as I get a game against someone with a sense of humor and an equally silly army.)

While making that list I converted some pudgy little warhammer halflings to turn them into pudgy little barefoot backwoods kids with sniper rifles. I have recently had some backlogged vacation time and have wasted just a bit too much of it glueing old plastic lasguns onto ancient lead (yes, lead!) halflings and here is the 1st founding of an army that is just too funny so I had to share it... I had a LOT of halflings. And a 'grey wizard' to go with them.

oooh how I wish I had a digital camera right now. sorry guys, but descriptions will have to do

my next step is to repaint all of them in camo colour because they are trying ever so hard to convince the commissar that they are real guardsmen, so they will all be in the same regimental color scheme as my cadians - basic autumn cammo. brown, green, khaki, you know.

the colonel is that old chubby halfling guy with the chef hat waving a cleaver in the air from the old halfling 'hot-cauldron-full-of-stew' slingshot launcher from WHFB. He is wearing an apron which I will splatter in blood next time I paint. Hee hee hee. He looks really angry, but hey he has a ccw cleaver and I threw on a holstered pistol to help him out and make him legal..

I have a standard bearer for the squad who is standing there smiling... hand on hip... like nothing is wrong around him. fat little guy. goofy little beret type hat. I figure with a grin like that he's probably the 'village idiot' or something "Hey Samwise - YOU hold the flag"... "duuuh oookaaay..." they also have a heavy weapon team with 2 more guys in chef hats from the hot pot crew struggling over a mortar that is kind of tipping over, and one of them is straining on a rope trying to drag it back up.

I glued a plastic laspistol on the little chef 'colonel' and a couple of random ammo bits on some of the weapon crew guys. They are hillarious. Finally there's a little guy gesturing with a turkey leg. he has a big feather in his cap and I chopped off his shortsword WHFB 'hand weapon' and stuck a laspistol on instead. This is the veteran medic. "awww.. .he's not hurt, he just hasn't eaten in two hours! here boss eat this!"

next come the troops: here comes the fluff to explain this bizarre phenomenon:

Master Sergeant Max Hurtz lead his battle weary squad out of the dropship and surveyed the scene before him. They were the last survivors of the Cadian 53,243,453rd, reassigned to merge with and bolster the newly founded regiment on Shyre VII after their last campaign, where they were lucky enough to be the only company to be airlifted in time before exterminatus was declared on the chaos infested world of Buuh.

He blinked in confusion at the bright pastoral landscape, and the happy fat children tending the gardens next to their strange round-doored houses built into the side of the low rolling hills. Wait! those aren't children, he thought... they have uniforms! He turned to Commissar Clytus Androgynous Maximus II, who gave a slight shrug and 'I dunno either bud' knowing look at the master sarge, discreetly enough that the troops unloading behind them wouldn't notice.

"According to my data-slate, they have been out of contact with the empire for almost a thousand years, but recently, due to some psychic mutant anomily in their population, they have re-established astropathic contact with our own, and offered their services to our Emperor. We follow our orders sergeant."

Sergeant Hurtz just sighed. "yes commissar I suppose we do."

Sergeant Hurtz shook his head in disbelief as a fat little guy wobbled and bobbled his way up to him, saluting with the wrong hand, and demanded to see his authorization for the use of the landing field.

Landing field? they were in a cow pasture! This is really awkward, the sarge thought to himself. Again a shrug of mutual disbelief from the commissar.

Then an old man came wobbling out of one of the wierd little hill-house things, bumping his head on the door that was clearly not built with his height in mind. He smiled warmly and wisely. his grey beard down to his knees. His staff was an intricately carved and rune-laden piece of old oak that gave the sergeant shivers just looking at it.

"Aaaah! you finally arrived! what an unexpected party!" (he laughed an old man laugh at his own joke...) "good... good.... splendid! I suppose you are wondering who sent that message. yes.. yes.. I've already seen it coming. there are orks drawing near! dark forces moving in the east! I am here to guide you and advise you! I am Greywiz and I am not trying to rob you... but DAAARK forces are on the move and all we can do is what we can do about the times that we live in(or something like that)"

Max shivered a bit at the prophetic words of the old man who reaked of psychic energy and made him feel as small as the little fellow next to him. After a moment's consideration of the situation he had been thrust into, he finally told the little fellow that he'd have to go and get the landing permit later. He stooped to shake hands with the little guy in the camoflauged apron who he supposed was his new 'colonel', and sighed yet again. Why always the worst duties? why emperor why?

The stormtroopers had just finished marching out of the dropship in perfect order, but in their eyes there was a weariness that no amount of sleep would ever erase.

They unloaded their last few vehicles as more little guys came out of the bushes wielding longbarrelled rifles. completely surrounding them. "I know you're new, but we have to act fast! so get your &%%%% together soldiers!!" said the little midget in charge of the squad that had snuck up on them..

"where'd you get these rifles?" asked sarge, dumbfounded.

"ehh... leftovers from some war a few hundred years ago when the orks first showed up... the emperor's guys dropped them off... now hurry up! the orks are coming!"

A veteran of many engagements, Master Sergeant Max Hurtz started crying inside.

so here they are!!!:

if you made it this far you may as well look at the army list, right?

doctrine: ratlings, psykers, grenadiers, sharpshooters, independant commissars (because Clytus Androgynous Maximus II is just about fed up with all these dumb assignments so he kind of stays to himself on this kind of mission)

JO com: vet medic(lasp/ccw/turkeyleg), mortar team, vet standard(lasp/ccw/dumb grin)
tack on the psyker ("greywiz") and his forceweapon (staff)
99 pts.

AT squad w 3xmissile launcher 95 pts
(these are the cadian reinforcements of course)
FS squad w 3xheavy bolter + sharpshoot: 95 pts

elite: 2x 6 ratlings 132 pts

1 independant commissar w bpistol, powersword,macharian cross, med crimson, refrac field 106 pts
(this is my ever-so-old commissar with a metal body and plastic 1st ed. arms who now has white hair, and has seen plenty of action - 'Clytus Androngynous Maximus II) - he is probably more like the MCVII version by now.

5x stormies (grenadiers): 1 plasma gun, vet sgt (master sgt Max Hurtz) with Honorifica, powersword, med crimson
111 points

5x stormies again(grenadiers): 1 plasgun, veteran sgt w bolter
67 pts

sentinel with lascan, smoke, armored crew
(I really want to remodel this thing to have a wookie and an ewok sticking out the top hatch but that's mixing myths so I'll use it as is for now)
73 pts.

Leman:3 heavy bolter, pintle hvy stubber
167 pts

Leman: lascannon

total=1001 points. close enough.

hope y'all enjoyed the story ;D
million worlds, unnumbered souls, and a lasgun for every one of them.
squigs for dinner is offline  
Old 05 Feb 2006, 17:43   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: the "fightin' 1st' of Shyre VII

I always enjoy fluff and lists that manage to break out of the "abandon all hope" euro-bleakness that lays so thick on 40k. I've never much cared for the stock guard regiments, either, and I applaud you for creatively blending mechanics and fluff.

Well done.
Captain Austin
2nd Antonian Irregulars (The Lone Stars)
"There's nothin' like a good piece o' hickory."
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Old 05 Feb 2006, 18:10   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: the "fightin' 1st' of Shyre VII

Only thing I'd add would be... the wookie and the ewok. Theres always room for Chewie. Great fluff dude.
Space Marines may be lauded as the ultimate warriors, but it takes a real man to walk with carapace armor and a hell guninto battle, then do their job for them without any genetic hoo-ha
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