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The Dark Truth (Redux)
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Old 20 Apr 2010, 10:27   #11 (permalink)
Shas'Vre
 
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Default Re: The Dark Truth (Redux)

Ha, ha! The Elati Craftworld have the answers to that. They've had someone betray them and tread down the dark path. They've had a precious character stolen from them by the Dark Kin, rescued her, and they do not question the Path of Chaos. They hold the truths, and secrets that would get them hunted down by an alliance between Dark Kin, Chaos, and the Eldar. Could it just be us being arrogant again, or do we speak truth to make you ponder? :shifty:



Story could use a bit of grammar editing, but overall very well written. If I can read past the first 7 paragraphs, I find it's usually going to be a good read. Chapter 5 could really use some work though, if you care to.
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Old 20 Apr 2010, 17:59   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Dark Truth (Redux)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Autarch Harusyi Adino
Story could use a bit of grammar editing, but overall very well written. If I can read past the first 7 paragraphs, I find it's usually going to be a good read. Chapter 5 could really use some work though, if you care to.
My Mastery of the tongue of my non-Commorragh kindred is not as perfect as I would like too. So some error are bound to happen.
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Old 20 Apr 2010, 19:26   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Dark Truth (Redux)

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Father's Left Hand
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autarch Harusyi Adino
Story could use a bit of grammar editing, but overall very well written. If I can read past the first 7 paragraphs, I find it's usually going to be a good read. Chapter 5 could really use some work though, if you care to.
My Master of the tongue of my non-Commorragh kindred is not as perfect as I would like too. So some error are bound to happen.
Ah. Then your faults are duly forgiven; you write well.
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If the Eldar see battle as a symphony,
Then the Elati have mastered a solo piece,
Of every instrument.


Games in the Past Month:
Tau: W-1, T-0, L-1
Witch H: W-0, T-0, L-0
Eldar: W-2, T-0, L-1
Guard: W-0, T-0, L-0
Other: W-2, T-1, L-0
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Old 20 Apr 2010, 22:17   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Dark Truth (Redux)

But I agree Chapter 5 could benefit for a bit of revamping.

Oh Well thus is how our Lorekeeper tells the story and thus it shall remain...for now.
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Old 21 Apr 2010, 12:11   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Dark Truth (Redux)

For the goings on in this thread, I shall award four points to Commorragh and one to Alaitoc, as Alaitoc certainly needs them and we have someone here in character who is fighting on their behalf :P
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