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My dice hate me!!!!!
Old 20 Sep 2008, 08:41   #1 (permalink)
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Default My dice hate me!!!!!

This is a simple rant, so anybody looking for anything useful here might as well go on to the next topic.

I played an 1800 point game tonight, and had to concede a massacre at the bottom of turn 2 because, basically, I COULDN'T ROLL A 3 WHEN I NEEDED IT! Bad roll part 1 was deep striking my command crisis team into a nice empty piece of field within LOS of my pathfinder devilfish. There weren't any particularly good targets, but I choose an area of table with a good 8 inches of empty space in every direction, maybe 10 inches from 3 ork deffkoptas (because there wasn't anything else good to kill). I roll scatter and get 8 inches toward the koptas, close enough that it might be a mishap. I reroll it, and the arrow points the same way, but I now have a 9 showing on the dice. Putting me right on top of them for a deep strike mishap. On the mishap table, where anything but a 1 or 2 keeps them alive, I roll a 1! My command squad is now dead.

Bad rolls part 2: I pull off a successful Fish of Fury with a hammerhead on either side of the devilfish, making what should be a nearly impenetrable skimmer wall. A battle wagon rolls up and trys to ram one of the hammerheads with its car wash brush (deathrolla I think: a spiky cylinder on the front) on the way to my crisis team. Since the hammerhead is a skimmer, I only need to roll a 3 to dodge and stop the thing in its tracks. Well, I can't roll a 3, so it gets D6 strength 10 hits on the hammerhead, blowing it up and continuing on to kill the crisis team the same way. Now that it's through the skimmer wall the ork boyz pile out and assault my fire warrior squad, which they of course kill.

We were using ard boyz kill points, so lets review. I gave up 3 points by rolling under 3 on the deep strike mishap (after being forced to roll it in the first place, which shouldn't have happened), 2 points for my hammerhead rolling under a 3 and not getting out of the way, which lead to 2 more points for the crisis team and one more for the fire warriors! 3+2+2+1 is seven points lost to rolls I should have made. An 8 to 1 kill point massacre because I COULDN'T ROLL THREES!!!!

Ok, I feel better after abandoning dignity to complain for a couple of paragraphs. We now resume our regularly scheduled programming!
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Old 20 Sep 2008, 09:40   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Meanwhile at dice command.

"Trouble sir. I think he's onto us."

"Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon..." ~ Terry Pratchett
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Old 20 Sep 2008, 09:44   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Purge them with fire.

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Old 20 Sep 2008, 10:32   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Use new dice...
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Old 20 Sep 2008, 11:41   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Originally Posted by Sidstyler
Purge them with fire.
Yeah, this is the only way. But make sure you get new dice first, then let them see what happens to bad dice. >
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Old 20 Sep 2008, 12:56   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Burn the heritic mutant and deviant! (oh yeah the dice too)

"They shall be my finest Cannon Fodder, these men who give themselves to me. Like clay I will mold them and in the furnace of war they will become cracked and broken. They will be of tissue paper and whimpy muscle. In tissue paper armor I clad them and with the mightiest flashlights they will be armed. They will be touched by every sort of plauge or disease to help further make them unhappy, all sickness will blight them. They will have almost no tactics, strategies, but lots of machines so that they can atleast stand up to a foe in battle. They are my tar pit against the Terror. They are the bulk of Humanity. They are my Imperial Guard and they will know much fear!"

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Old 20 Sep 2008, 13:52   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Line up all your dice so they can see, then take the worst offender(sounds like the die you used on DS mishap), and light it on fire with a blow torch.

Note that just alcohol and a lighter isnt sufficient heat for most dice, Ive tried.
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Old 20 Sep 2008, 14:01   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Hammers also work fine.
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Old 20 Sep 2008, 14:16   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

Have you built a shrine to the Dice Gods yet?

That might be your problem. Just make something fancy, then when you need a good roll, make a quick prayer at the shrine. Sacrificing an old die at the same time might help too, although it makes quite a mess out of the gaming table.
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Old 20 Sep 2008, 14:25   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: My dice hate me!!!!!

I've had a very similar problem as well. However, I like my dice too much to destroy them, but I did show them who is in charge. I arranged them in a nice grid, with all the 6s showing, and left them sitting there for two weeks. In the end, they seemed to roll high when I needed it, and low when I needed it, though recent performance seems to indicate that they're due for another long patrol.
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