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Craziest idea ever......what if?
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 12:37   #1 (permalink)
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Default Craziest idea ever......what if?

What if 40k became an anime/manga? Not any ordinary anime, but a pokemon/yu-gi-oh-type anime?

The protagonist who discovers 40k and became one of the best players in the world, using his Ultramarines army (since it is the flagship army of 40k so to speak :P ). And to add up to the nightmare of a concept;

His team;

A guy who owns a Space Wolves army who is very boisterous and often like to meet things heads on.
A girl who plays =I= (particularly SOB), can also become love interest of main protagonist.
His sarcastic and arrogant teammate (initially an opponent) who plays Eldar. Is the most experienced player of the entire group.
The timid militray geek member who owns an Imperial Guard army and knows how to calculate the possibilities of a scatter dice (or something) that enables him to fight very well.


Some of their opponents include a antagonist who uses Chaos Space Marines, a kind guy who plays Tau who is know to oliterate everything with masses of firepower, and a guy who follows chivalry to the end and also a Grey Knights player,nd a very bloodthirsty (for wanting of better terms) that plays Orks. here are others, but these are the ones that pop up inside my mind right now.


As the show goes by, they will tell about some of the rules and missions of the game, and also description of the army. In addition , what is anime/manga without the crazy strategies that the player use to defeat their opponent (like Yu-gi-oh)?


Controversial isn't it?

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Old 22 Nov 2007, 12:43   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

No offence, but I think I just died a little inside.
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 12:45   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

Controversial indeed!

I have to say, I'm a fan of anime/manga, but I hate the idea of Yu-gi-oh/Beyblades/etc. Most animes with formal competitions being the main plot point are ridiculous and not exactly great. However, with that said, if they had the models animated so that it looked like an actual war going on, bu on a 1:64 scale, that might be kinda cool. I'd watch a bit of it, at least until the 1 dimensional characters/plot/twists started to get to me.

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Old 22 Nov 2007, 12:51   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

Is the key to winning "believing in the heart of the dice"?


Because that's the only way you're going to beat that effeminate long flowing white hair silk wearing 30 something year old flamboyant homosexual with the Necron army whose never been beaten....


He's probably the older gayer brother of the Eldar guy....and um...the only guy who came close to beating him is now some hermit dark eldar player....
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 12:52   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Thunder
This is a wonderful little piece of 40K humor that I wrote for my website a while back, I thought you guys might enjoy it as well.  Feel free to add your own.

How 40K Would Be Different If It Were Based On Anime



*At the beginning of every turn you must do a recap of the game so far.*

*After a character is killed in close combat by another character, he will keep fighting for another round before suddenly falling apart.

*Before firing it's main cannon, Abbadon's planet killer would undergo an unnecessarily complex transformation sequence.

*Abbadon would have a super-hot daughter who would betray him after falling in love with a Hot-Shot Imperial pilot.

*Sisters of Battle armies would have a "Japanese School Girl" theme. Special rules would include pulling out a giant mallet out of nowhere to use in HTH combat, and "Bikini Style" power armor.

*Titans would be created by lots of Dreadnaughts transforming and combining together.

*The Eye of Terror campaign would have ended with an otherwise average cadian youth, chosen by destiny, using a magical amulet, or perhaps a sword, to release a blast of holy energy that would have destroyed all chaos forces and closed the eye forever.

*After loosing a battle, any characters involved are forced to go on long "training quests" where they do pointless things like slash at waves on the beach.

*Slaneesh armies would be rated "Double H," and would require I.D. to buy. Furthermore, Slaneesh armies could only be played in special back rooms, with a curtain separating them from the rest of the store, and a therapist standing ready to help people recover after playing against a Slaneeshi army.

*Cityfight missions have a lot less to do with alleys and a lot more to do with jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

*Epic would be called "Chibi-Warhammer."

*Instead of yelling "Blood for the Blood God," Khorne berzerkers would yell, BANZAI!"

*Whenever a character is hit by a ranged attack, they get to use their weapon skill to deflect the shot

*ALL Chaos Lords, not just the Slaneeshi ones, would be androgynous and effeminate.

*Followers of Nurgle would be portrayed as fat lazy American rednecks.

*All female charaters would be subject to being periodically kidnapped by the opponent, forcing you to play the special mission "Rescue the Heroine" which is filled with hours of pointless angst and exposition before climaxing in the actual battle.

*Orks would still be green, but would have human features and be about three times as big as a marine. However, it would be possible to defeat them by paying a love song.

*Before you roll your dice, you have to play "in character." i.e. you grunt and do a voice over for your mini's secret thoughts.

*Commissar Yarrick would have been about 26 during the Armageddon Campaign. In an ironic twist of fate, he would have accidentally become betrothed to BOTH of Ghazkull Thrakka's daughters.

*Everyone would argue about whether or not the dubbed version of 40K is better than the subtitled version of 40K.

*Four Words: Howling Banshee Fan Service!!

*Thunderhawk Gunships would transform, and combine into an ever more powerful gunship!

*All 40K characters would have the ability to change into a more powerful version of themselves. (Super-Commissar Level 2!!!)

*Negative modifiers would be imposed on any unit that had 2 or more models with the same hair color or eye color.

*Cherry Blossoms would be mandatory basing material.

*ALL swords would ignore armor saves...even wooden ones.

*All armies would be required to take at least one ditsy female squad leader.

*There would be one Imperial Cruiser where all of the misfits would be placed, lead by a wacky irresponsible captain. Through a stroke of unbelievable good luck, they would have accidentally stumbled onto the Planet Killer and crashed into it just as it was about to fire on Macharia, causing it to miss and hit the Chaos Fleet instead.

*No matter how repulsive the alien males would be portrayed (Hrud, Kroot, Slug-Men), alien females would always look like super-hot human females with a slightly different skin color.

*All characters would be able to leap 24" as a standard ability.

*New turn sequence: Movement Phase, Shooting Phase, Flashback Phase, Insult Phase, Assault Phase.

*The rules would be concise, clear, and cover every possibility. Unfortunately, it would be mandatory to humiliate the player who loses the game by making them eat a whole box of laxatives, or cutting off their pinky finger. This rule would be strictly enforced at GT's.

*All energy weapons would have the option of "Building Up" their energy over several turns and then releasing it in one devastating blast.

*No matter how evil and powerful you opponent’s general is, it would be always be possible to bring him over to your side through a simple act of kindness...or a song.

*Like most things the Japanese make, the rules system would be smaller, more efficient, and cheaper to buy.

*Grand Tournaments and Games Days would have a LOT more people dressing up as their favorite 40K characters.

*There would be a "Bishojo" version of 40K that would be very popular with girls.

*The basic rulebook would include instructions for "Believing in the heart of the dice" as a central component of 40K gaming.

*Two Words: Missile Swarms!!

*"Severe Nosebleeds" would be a common way to loose models when fighting against Eldar Wytch armies.

*Every codex would contain a CD with that armies J-Pop theme music. Of course, the lyrics would have nothing to do wit 40K at all, and would include phrases in English such as "White Song Love."

*Did I mention the Sisters of Battle Sailor Suits?

*Models that "die" really just go on to a small planet and are trained by a giant bug to be better fighters.

*Just when you thought that you had massacred your friends army, a lone HQ choice would stride out of the fog (regardless of the weather, there would be fog) and proceed to destroy your army.

*At random points in the game, it will rain cherry blossoms.

*Terminators Powerfists would have the "Rocket Punch" ability.

*Rockets will always miss, but when they hit the ground the explosion is enough to knock enemies to the ground in pain.

*Dreadnoughts could (and would) fall in love.

*All Space Marine armies would have a small obnoxious child who would stow away in the trunk of a Space Marine landspeeder every episode and get in the way during a crucial point in the battle.

*Dreadnaughts would be able to unleash special powers, but only if the driver was pure of heart.

*Psychic powers could only be used by those who had discovered true love.

*Space Marines would look like Samurai.

*When characters die, enormous amounts of blood would fly from their body.

*Every attack would have a name that must be announced out loud while being preformed.

*Nobody would ever die, no matter what happens to them, they just get sent to another dimension. in all likely hood they can be wished back with a gem, or a collection of items.

*Your best character must be permanently afraid and whiney. For 4 battles out of every 10 he must refuse to do anything, because he's afraid of his own power.

*Endless merchants like plushy/chibi dolls of Horus would be made

*No matter how much amour you are wearing it will never restrict your movement no matter how heavy or bulky it is.

*Evil female psykers must wear large shoulder pads and leather bondage gear.

*Every male no matter how bad or ugly will have at least one fangirl in his retinue.

*GT's would have Cosplay points to see who wins.

*There would be at least one super accurate, immensely powerful character ..... who doesn't like to kill.

*He would have a brother, who likes to kill way to much.

*All eldar would have ears so long and pointed that you wonder where they go when they put on their helmets.

*All eldar males would be gay. All eldar females would be insatiable love-kittens that chase after the burly but chaste Space Marines making the marines decidedly uncomfortable.

*Whenever "Mindwar" was cast the resulting process would invariable lead to graphic head explosions or excessive screaming.

*Railing against the strict eldar disciplines of the "paths", a guardian challenges the stodgy and ancient ways of the elder Seers. In the process not only will he evolve combat skills rivaling a phoenix lord, but he will learn the value of tradition...As he destroys it leading to a new rebirth of eldar society. Or everyone dies except for our lone (and apparently the only heterosexual male) hero and a fiercely independent but love struck banshee. They hop into the coolest looking spaceship flying to nowhere, forlorn and wistful, as crappy early 80's music cuts in and oversized Japanese characters are flashed behind painted stills of all the major characters.

*Tau battlesuits would rock in close combat. But only if there were just a few, and they were all of unique design / paint job. Otherwise they would just get blown up all the time by any weapon, no matter how small.

*Characters could have a retinue of pets/ strange animals/ monsters/ etc that would follow them around, and could be used to challenge the monsters belonging to opposing characters. (With the loser forfeiting his pets to the winner). If he so wished, he could keep his pets inside tiny colored balls, rings, or magic cards.

*Servitors would all look like (identical) school-girls.

*All Characters get a 2+ invulnerable save when shot at by squads of identically-dressed Troops.

* People would regularly wield swords larger than themselves.

* And some would have even bigger ones.

* Necron Flayed Ones would be replaced by robots wearing attractive, female (and rarely clothed) "disguises".

* There would be an "Insult" phase added between the Shooting and Assault phases. This phase may or may not be accompanied by shouting (male veteran players don't shout -- they just grimace menacingly until the other player loses his cool). The player who blinks or loses his temper first loses the Initiative. The game then proceeds to the Assault phase.

*The bigger the titan the faster it will go to the point were a warlord can move behind a wolf class by the time in gets back on its feet.

*When a model is battling, its companions must gather behind it and say things like, "C'mon Artemis, you can do it." or "Why doesn't Brother Artemis use his special attack?"

*Before each battle all female models would participate in an unnecessary shower scene.

*A new recruit in the SM will meet a hard as nails female marine, eventually have her fall in love with him, and melt her heart so that she learns about love.

*All HQ leaders would have a little bug-eyed cat (black or white or pink) that follows them around. NO ONE would question this.

*Warhammer 40,000 "Lite" would be released and aimed at small kids making a huge hit. This will eventually lead to everyone who does not play 40K regular to think that the game is all "kid stuff."

*Your friends who do not play will think it all has to do with porn (to your chagrin)

*All inquisitors would be horny old men who change into young girls when splashed with water.

*There will ALWAYS be a high-strung female character teamed forever with a ditzy female character.

* Blood Angels and Khorneate followers would push the games rating up to R18+ in any game they participate in due to 'Excessive, frequent and realistic violence'.

* Sisters of Battle would be used to teach girls(and thousands of fanboys) about things like fitness, friendship, schoolwork and general happiness by fighting a chaos army that comes from a negative universe. All while wearing the new S-Type Power Amour.

* Dark Eldar Beastmasters would get their own minigame that involves catching them all.

*Tau Battlesuits would be unstoppable until the Space Marines developed a new G-type Dreadnaught amour. After which they proceed to send 5 of these unique dreadnaughts to Tau itself.

* When the Horus Heresy occurred the Emperors Tarrot was scattered and it falls to certain gifted individuals with 'magic' powers to find them with the help of the guardian of the Emperors Tarrot whose form has somewhat diminished until the cards are brought back together. Yet another mini-game.

* Necromunda would involve futuristic motorcycle gangs and one of them who becomes a special psyker.

* The most successful battleship in the Imperial Fleet will be crewed mostly by women, have a chief tech officer who is only 12 and mount a massive experimental cannon.

*The table's terrain would be completely destructible, and every hill/mountain/ruin would be packed with small-ranged explosive charges so that they could easily be "blown to bits" by energy attacks that miss.

*Big huge all-powerful template attacks would NEVER do ANYTHING to HQ’s. This rule also applies to the HQ’s usually all-powerful ranged attacks. Whenever Hqs are engulfed in template attacks, they always emerge completely unscathed. This also causes all enemy units to take an immediate pinning test for being "frozen in place, amazed and fearful."

*In every battle there will have to be a strange little guy that sits on the sidelines cackling like an idiot & offering advice but never actually providing any assistance to the antagonists.

*Every hero would be capable of putting their hands together, uttering a long string of syllables, and launching a mighty energy blast.

*When said blast is fired, it does one of 3 things: utterly destroys the enemy, kills them, their lifeless body flopping to the ground, only to come back later to save the day, or not phase them at all/be deflected by their hand.

*Not only would Female Marines be fluffy, they would be mandatory.

*All Battles would take place in a deserted rocky area 50 billion miles wide and 50 billion miles long which could never really exist, but look! There it is right over there!
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 12:59   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

Quote:
Originally Posted by korik1
I have to say, I'm a fan of anime/manga, but I hate the idea of Yu-gi-oh/Beyblades/etc. Most animes with formal competitions being the main plot point are ridiculous and not exactly great. However, with that said, if they had the models animated so that it looked like an actual war going on, bu on a 1:64 scale, that might be kinda cool. I'd watch a bit of it, at least until the 1 dimensional characters/plot/twists started to get to me.
Agree with you wholeheartedly. I am no fan of those type of anime/manga either.

But somehow I can imagine it in my head rather vividly, and that in itself is rather scary.


Quote:
Originally Posted by crazedmongoose2003
Is the key to winning "believing in the heart of the dice"?


Because that's the only way you're going to beat that effeminate long flowing white hair silk wearing 30 something year old flamboyant homosexual with the Necron army whose never been beaten....


He's probably the older gayer brother of the Eldar guy....and um...the only guy who came close to beating him is now some hermit dark eldar player....
"Oh My god! That Falcon is god-like! What should I do? Wait a second, I must somehow deepstrike my terminators behind the Falcon and kill the falcon."

*Deepstrikes models, with typical slow-mo rolling and did not scatter. The proceed to roll game winning dices in spectacular anime fashion"

Opponent: It is impossible!

Hero: With the power of the dice and the bond between me and my models, there is nothing that can stop us.


Seriously I have that scene along with tons of other scenes in my mind. :P

But I believed that there are tactics as well in the game and combos.
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 13:20   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

This is terrible... And yet, I can perfectly visualize the scenes.

"What's that? My Gretchin... It's evolving! Now it's ORK BOY!"

"The Tyranid horde's number... *gasp* THEY'RE OVER 10,000,000!!!!!!!!!"

"You think you've won, loyalist scum? Hahahahaha! *transforms into Greater Daemon*
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 13:20   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

The correct forumula for this is as follows:

Ultramarine Player socialising with friends. Demented guy who with a haircut like he just tried to shag a high-voltage socket challenges him to a game.

For no logical purpose at all, there's a full 40K board set up in the middle of the street. Nobody finds this odd. The board itself is dug into the concrete, in a specially made pit. There's also some unseen magical force that stops animals crapping on it.

All the 40K minis move by themselves, and blow each other up with real weaponry. This doesn't alarm anyone for some reason.

Ultramarine guy starts losing. There is only one thing left to do...

*cue monocrome background that, for some reason, is scrolling vertically at high speed.*
Deploy... ULTRAMARINES HONOUR GUARD!!!

Models are thrown at the board. They all magically land upright, and undamaged. They proceed to total Demented Guy's army. This is all considered a perfectly legal move, for some reason.

Shouting "C'mon! You can do it!" gives the units a combat bonus.

Ultramarine guy wins. Everyone is happy (except Demented guy, who probably goes home and commits Seppeku).

Around the same time, a Manga version is released, which includes a double-page opening picture of all the female characters in the series having a bath / skinny dipping / exploring their sexuality, yet magically fails to reveal any nipples or fun-bits. It does, however, feature all the male characters spying in, even if some of them are related to the aforementioned females.

And don't forget all the Hentai...
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 14:01   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

That sound so Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon mixed in one, Wargamer.

Now if only they have some kind of item such as the duel disk 3D device, then we can make it look like that.

Remember the training in the mountains by some old 40k player who plays DE or some army that is awesome but almost impossible to use.
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Old 22 Nov 2007, 14:07   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Craziest idea ever......what if?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crisis_Vyper
That sound so Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon mixed in one, Wargamer.

Now if only they have some kind of item such as the duel disk 3D device, then we can make it look like that.

Remember the training in the mountains by some old 40k player who plays DE or some army that is awesome but almost impossible to use.
And the attractive female who plays the "Cult of the Bleeding Nose"; a Wych Cult force. Naturally, she is always inexplicably naked, causing any man who looks at her to burst into a nose-bleed.

And it's best not to ask where the she carries her models.
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