[Colonel_Sanders]

Any other day, Kell would have been admiring the snow on the trees and rocks. But not today. The shelling of the enemy positions had been going on for ever, and the young man was ready for the battle. He couldn't stand up and stretch his icy cold legs, as he would be a perfect target, and he couldn't lie down, as he had to be ready to go any minute.
* * *Kell rubbed his neck and looked around him at his squad. The shelling stopped, and the world was plunged into icy silence. As one, the entire platoon got up and began to jog towards the ork positions.
* * *"Do not go down." Said the sargeant. "You will be a target!"
* * *Suddenly, the return fire began, and the squad picked up speed. Kell heard a shell whiz by him, and somewhere in the rear someone screamed as it found home. Everyone was running full out now, not even bothering to fire at the xenos. Kell reached an old blasted shed and slid down next to it. He picked up his lasgun and an ugly green shape came into the sights. He squeezed the trigger and smiled in satisfaction as the shape flopped to the ground. In front of him, some one threw a grenade into an old house, and the gunfire slowed in the squad's section. Another person emptied his flamer into the house, and the shots stopped completely, just to be overtaken by the rumble and squeal of an approaching Lemen Russ.
* * *Kell knew the battle had been won, but it had been over so fast.


Constructive criticism is welcome, more to come.

[Commander_Vimes]

The days of shelling makes it sound like there is a major battle raging, but it seems to me that there were maybe three or four buildings with orks, hardly enough to warrent artillery. I'd suggest either making the battle much longer, or downgrading it to a much smaller engagement. I think making it larger would be best as it was really too short to be very interesting, and was very sparse on details.

[Kangaroo Joe]

And make sure Da Boyz win, cuz we shud after all this time of being beaten down and out........

[Colonel_Sanders]

Evening had come already and broken firefights had ensued around town as the ork positions were steadily pushed back. The smell of diesel and motor oil was on the air as Kell's squad helped with the mop-up near a burned out war buggy.
Some one shouted "Get down!" as the low whistle nearby signalled the approaching of a lobba shell. The men were already on the ground but the crude shell missed them; instead it hit a Chimera and oily smoke and flames poured out. One of the crewmembers narrowly jumped out as the seat of his pants caught fire. In another world it would have been almost comical as the man yelped and rolled on the ground, but to the men of Squad Alpha it was just another event in a million.
The seargent got on the vox to report the artillery position, but the Imperial Basilisks were dealing with "more important matters" and no help could be found. Such events had been common in the last 4 hours as the previously thought savage aliens had revealed to the unfortunate guardsmen that nearly every building was fortified with the green-skins and the Imperials had payed for every inch in blood.
Kell was tired, hungry and dirty, and to make matters worse the earliest his squad was getting out of this wretched town was in 48 hours. That's all. Kell thought. Just 48 darn hours till hot grub and showers. What could go wrong?
A lot, it turned out. The vox crackled and the officer answered it.
All ears turned toward him as he nodded, and then put away the set.
"Orks." He said. "More of 'em. And it sounds like they're tired of being kicked around are counter-attacking. We're supposed to move up the gates of the city and hold them off, of course we're gonna' have the 2nd platoon and the remainders of 4th to back us up. Or, they'll have us to back them up."
The hoped for cheer was not as much as hooray as of a chorus of groans and moans.
"Oh yeah," finished the vox operator. "They're speed freaks."

[Master Lytaing]

thats not too bad actually, I reckon you should mod yer first post and put all of it in there

[Colonel_Sanders]

Originally Posted by Farseer Far'shan

thats not too bad actually, I reckon you should mod yer first post and put all of it in there

How do I do that?

[Master Lytaing]

The modify button over there ------->

[Colonel_Sanders]

Hmm, maybe later. Thanks though.


The squad moved out to the south of the city, and then helped to prepare the "wall" as the Lieutenant called it. The citizens of the city had stopped worrying about an invasion a long time ago and the old dirt and concrete structure was now more of a raised side walk. Kell's squad put sand bags and pieces of old rubbish down on the sides, although this was no where they expected attack.
The city had once had a grand opening in the wall, where the carts and farmers from the surrounding country side would come in and bring their crops. It too had suffered from the ork invasion and was falling apart. Still, it was the most accessible part to the city and it was wide enough to fit several war buggies on it.
Some one came up to Kell. "What's yer name?" the short man asked.
"Kell."
"No, yer real name... everyone has one."
"That is my real name. Shove off, I'm trying to rest." He wasn't really, just didn't like the sight of the scruffy old soldier. The man shrugged and walked off.
"Was gonna give a cigarette, but..." he muttered.
"I don't smoke any way." The man turned around and chuckled. "You will by the end of this battle. Speed Freaks are terrible mean. Look out for yo'self."
A squad mate tapped Kell and gestured to look at 4th platoon's command squad. The Lieutenant was looking at something in distance through his magnoculars. Kell looked where his gaze was pointing and saw many small black dots, like angry little bees, in the distance. They were approaching very rapidly. The call went out to stand by in battle positions. The squads heavy bolter readied itself, and the squad distanced itself from one another to cover as much area as possible.
The buggies were now in pretty clear sight, and Kell could see small figures jostling around in their rickety vehicles.
For some reason though, Kell couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. For one, the vehicles had attempted to armour their top's with un-painted pieces of metal. Instead of being bolted to the sides however, the crude armour was connected via two mechanical arms on the sides. Another problem was that they weren't veering towards the gate way. All the vehicles were coming straight towards the wall.
Then, as they neared the wall, Kell understood his suspicion. The "armoured tops" weren't tops at all! They were ramps!
The vehicles arms placed the ramp directly on the wall in front of the buggies, and the momentum carried them forward, directly onto the battlements.
"All units, fire at will shouted the officer. Kell did, rapidly unloading his lasgun shots onto the enemy. The cunning orks jumped onto the wall and the soldiers on the wall were quickly overwhelmed and cut down.
An ork came at Kell and lunged. Kell ducked and stabbed upward, catching it in the belly with his bayonet. The ork clutched at his stomach and bellowed in anger and pain. Kell stabbed again, finishing off the xeno. He looked around him at the carnage, and saw the command squad go under a sea of green.
"By the Emperor," muttered Kell. "So this is how I am to die."

[Master Lytaing]

your good, this is good stuff

[Shaso Wanax]

Only point I'd make is in your first installment the battle was "won" not "one"...


Good.* Pehaps the Orks had withdrawn and left only a few to cover the retreat...

Havent' read the other installments yet, but I will.

Wanax


PS. I have now read all installments. Very nice. In the first maybe you need a "where have they gone" sort of puzzlement from Kell since he at first was in fear of standing, but the battle lasted two minutes against what sounds (volume of fire, targets, etc) a squad sized element hold up in shacks. This would help transition into the next seen.

Put it all together with some picks and send it to WD.

Wanax