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The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)
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Old 27 Apr 2007, 05:42   #1 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

This is some fluff I'm writing for my Raven Guard 3rd Company in preparation for expanding the force. I hope it proves an enjoyable read and hopefully I can get back to good old Dante soon enough.

[hr]

[size=12pt]The Raven Guard 3rd Company[/size]

[hr]

The Armania Campaign

To an untrained eye the woods would have appeared tranquil as the moon reached the crest of its path across the sky. Scattered moonlight filtered through the leaves of the great wood to leave patterns of grayish light upon the forest floor. Owls hooted softly overhead and small animals rustled in the underbrush. To an untrained observer the scene would have been perfectly peaceful. To the trained eye, the forest was full of powerful figures, their armor perfect midnight black, only broken by a deep red trim and the symbols of a white raven on their pauldrons. Stalking quietly through the forest, the armored figures approached the edge of the tree line. Beyond the forest edge sat the Ork camp.

Hundreds of Orks swarmed around dozens of crude vehicles quickly effecting repairs that seemed to damage and weigh down the vehicles more than fix what was broken. The Orks had crashed through the forest ahead of the main greenskin horde to begin the pillaging and looting in preparation for the rest of the mass of Orks to catch up. The Raven Guard were there to make sure all the rest of the Orks found were corpses and smoking wrecks.

A single figure slipped forward ahead of the black armored warriors. Peering out of the forest the warrior nodded, the ancient white helmet appearing a bluish-grey in the moonlight. Without a spoken word almost a hundred Adeptus Astartes, the rightly feared Space Marines crept to the edge of the tree line. Twenty Tactical marines and ten Devastator marines moved into position, bracing their guns to cover their comrades. Unknown to the Orks and out of sight of even their comrades almost thirty scouts were on the other side of the great clearing, sniper rifles and bolters trained on the Orks below them as the scouts secreted themselves into the sturdiest trees.

All of a sudden more than sixty jump packs roared to life, sending ten squads of Assault marines and Veteran Assault marines roaring into the air, at their head was the magnificent figure of Captain Balthier Vincati. As the jump packs roared to life the Orks turned in surprise, their eyes tracking up in astonishment, the first Orks to die never saw their attackers as the thirty marines still in the forest and a similar number of scouts opposite them opened fire. Bolter shells, sniper rounds, rockets and balls of superheated plasma streaked from the trees to blast apart the Orks by the scores.

As the first volley of fire ended the Orks roared and surged towards the trees, only to be cut down by the Assault marines who they had literally forgotten about in the storm of gunfire. Lightning claws, powered blades, chainswords and combat knives rent and tore at anything in sight, bolt pistols, plasma pistols and flamers tore through the flimsy armor of the parked vehicles and shredded Ork flesh. From the trees stalked the Tactical marines, marching forward bolters blazing, cutting down the Orks as they tried to flee. Those Orks that tried to escape the other way were met by the scouts, bolters tearing down at the fleeing Orks from above, stragglers and forerunners picked off by sniper fire.

Swift as lightning Captain Balthier tore his way through the Orks, heading straight towards the roaring nob that was whipping the Orks into a crude mob to try and counter charge the marines. His ancient artificer armor, passed down through the chapter since the days of the Great Crusade, when the Emperor walked the stars and Corax still led the Raven Guard, was immaculate, despite months of hard fighting the plates were polished and without a blemish, purity seals and oaths of moment fluttered from his armor, testimony to his purity and faith. On his hands were the master crafted Lightning Claws known as the Ravens Revenge, crafted by Corax after the massacre on Istvaan V and awarded to Balthier by Captain Shrike upon his advancement to Captaincy. As he extended his right claw, his latest oath of moment fluttered in the evening breeze, he had sworn to vanquish the Orks defiling the Imperium, to avenge the death of Sergeant Hastur, his comrade since his days as an initiate. Filled with grim determination he gunned his jump pack and roared over the heads of the assembling Orks, bringing his right leg around in a great kick that cracked into the Nob’s jaw, throwing the creature back and off balance, turning with the blow Balthier tore his left claw sideways through the throats of several Orks and took the left hand of the Nob off at the wrist, roaring in pain the huge greenskin regained its balance just in time to see Captain Vincati finish his turn and burry his right claw in the chest of the Ork, the elongated talons piercing all the way through the creatures body to burst from its back, its heart and lungs shredded and burned.

With a roar Balthier tore his claw free and reversing his momentum brought the same claw back around to cleave the Ork’s head into thin ribbons of flesh, bone and brain matter. Seeing their greatest fighter and leader slain so quickly the Orks lost their heart for the fight and turned to flee. Following his Captain into the clearing Sergeant Farian led his squad of Veteran Assault marines in the systematic slaughter of the greenskins as they fled from Captain Vincati. Balthier did not give chase, withdrawing his claws he knelt down and carefully removed one of the Ork’s, tusk like, teeth. Slowly turning the tooth in his gauntleted hands Balthier crushed the tusk, he then carefully removed a second tooth, which he placed almost ritualistically in a small pouch at his belt. Rising to his feet he extended the shimmering blades of his lightning claws and rocketed off into the night, the Ork camp was in ruins, the vehicles were nothing more than burning piles of scrap and every last Ork lay dead, pulped by bolter fire, or dismembered by all manner of blades. Silently the Raven Guard 3rd Company disappeared, slipping through the forest in groups of twos and threes as they made their way back to their latest sanctuary in the nearby mountains.

Two months later…

On board the Battle Barge, the Black Wing, Captain Balthier Vincati stared at the planet below with his command staff.

“Final casualties: twelve marines, seventeen scouts, four bikes, three rhinos, one landspeeder.” Veteran Sergeant Graylor said, his voice solemn as he read out the names of the fallen.

“We also found eleven suitable youths for recruitment in the planetary defense forces, they are in the apothecarion now being examined.” Veteran Sergeant Farian added, watching his Captain’s reaction carefully.

“What of the gene seed? Were we able to recover the progenoid glands of our fallen brothers.” Balthier asked.

“Yes Captain, at least one gland was successfully recovered from every fallen marine, and from each of the fallen scouts.” Farian said without looking at his data pad.

“The Ork, Imperial Guard and PDF casualties?” Balthier inquired glancing back at his sergeants with a raised eyebrow.

“The Orks lost an estimated two hundred and seventy nine thousand of their number, the Warboss was successfully taken down by a Vindicare Assassin less than two days ago, the assassin successfully infiltrated the camp after our diversionary attack drew away the Warboss’ guard. The Imperial Guard suffered roughly forty percent casualties, of the one hundred and ten thousand guardsmen sent to Armania, less than seventy thousand remain. The PDF are down to less than a hundred men, who have been taken on as Chapter Serfs per your orders sir and reported to the Administratum as KIA.” Graylor answered, glancing at Farian nervously.

“It should have been the Raven Guard that killed the Warboss.” Vincati said looking back out the window.

“What are your orders sir?” Asked Graylor.

“Inform the Imperial Guard to withdraw immediately and prepare the bombardment cannons.” Balthier said turning from the viewing screen and walking quickly away, towards the door leading from the observation tower.

“Sir, a bombardment would level the forest for miles around, its reprocussion…” Farian began.

“Enough have died fighting these Orks, without their warboss they will not be able to regroup or recover, we have saved the main population centers and no profit or material comes from that section of forest. We will bombard the entire section of the planet to dust and make sure that these Orks do not come back for many years. Ork spores are difficult to get rid of as is, time for careful measures is over sergeant.” Balthier said as he walked through the door.

It took roughly twelve hours for the guard to break off their pursuit and get far enough away from the Orks for the bombardment to commence. The Imperial Navy added their guns to the barrage. Lance fire cut the Orks off from the mountain holes they had been making for, then swept through the forest back towards the Imperial held territory. After seven hours of constant bombardment more than a thousand miles of forest in the untamed north lands of Armania. More orks were killed in those few hours than died in the entire three and a half month campaign. Hundreds of thousands of Orks were incinerated in the bombardment, by the time it was done the Orks had been all but annihilated. The Imperial guard moved in from the north and south, cleaning up the few survivors. The Campaign was over.

[hr]

Saldan Crisis

Nineteen days later…

Captain Vincati’s footsteps sounded harsh in the sanctified halls of the Ravenspire’s chapel. Along the aisle the walls were covered with the names of fallen Raven Guard, at certain intervals great murals of mighty battles and great heroes of the chapter displayed the Raven Guard’s proud history. At the far end of the chapel, kneeling before the great alter knelt the Chapter Master Nerion Zain. The commander of the Raven Guard had his right knee to the marble floor, his hands holding his ancient power sword point down, his forehead touching its hilt as he paid his respects to the fallen and committed their souls into the Emperor’s care. Shining down on the Chapter Master was a glorious golden light, filtering into the chamber through the stained glass dominating the back wall, the window depicted the nine loyalist Primarchs, with Corax at their center. Before the window stood a magnificent statue of the Emperor, depicting him as he was before his internment in the Golden Throne.

Slowing to a halt, Balthier waited respectfully in the shadows just outside the light from the window for Zain to finish his prayers. A few minutes past in reverential silence as Master Zain finished the rites of death and Vincati waited patiently. When Zain had finished the rites he rose slowly, sheathing his sword and taking his helmet from the alter, the Chapter Master turned and motioned Balthier to approach. Nerion Zain’s right eye was a complex and sophisticated bionic, the scar from the old injury apparent going far up his temple and down his cheek. His left arm was a bionic from halfway down his upper arm, his left leg too was a bionic from just above the knee down. His armor was of the older MK VI design that many members of the chapter wore, though the armor’s craftsmanship and age told of its quality. On one hip the Chapter Master wore an ornate bolt pistol, and the other held the scabbard of the ancient sword, traditionally carried by all Chapter Masters of the Raven Guard, Angelus Mortis.

“Well met Captain, your mission to Armania was concluded much sooner than expected, and your losses were less than expected as well, though I hear many were the result of treachery.” Zain said, more as a statement of fact than any real inquiry.

“Yes honored Chapter Master, the Governor’s cousin sought to gain power through engineering the defeat of my men and I and then allowing the Guard to grind themselves down against the green skins, when his opposition had been suitably weekend there would be no-one to resist a coup.” Balthier explained, bowing his head in shame at not having foreseen the treachery.

“I have also been told that Veteran Sergeant Hastur was slain during the incident.” Zain commented, carefully watching Balthier’s expression.

“Yes lord, Sergeant Hastur and his entire squad fell acting as the rearguard, they allowed the rest of the Company to escape however and we visited revenge upon the greenskins.” Balthier answered his eyes still on the floor.

“However the casualties were still light all things considered, you did well Captain, you did Corax and the Emperor great honor.” Said Master Zain.

“I am merely a servant to Corax and the Emperor.” Vincati replied lifting his gaze to meet the eyes of his Chapter Master.

“Good, for your Primarch and your Emperor require your services again.”

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Old 27 Apr 2007, 18:30   #2 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

Wow that was a good read.

The only two things I found to comment on were these:
Quote:
whipping the Orks into a crude mob to try and counter charge the marines.
I think it should be countercharge.

Also:
Quote:
through the stained glass dominating the back wall
You might want to say explicitly "the stained glass window", just to make it clear.

Very good story though. I didn't know much about the Raven Guard before reading this, but I picked up several useful pieces of information, so thank you for that. It really was an enjoyable read.
Keep it up.
TB
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Old 28 Apr 2007, 06:23   #3 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TopBanana
Wow that was a good read.

The only two things I found to comment on were these:
Quote:
whipping the Orks into a crude mob to try and counter charge the marines.
I think it should be countercharge.

Also:
Quote:
through the stained glass dominating the back wall
You might want to say explicitly "the stained glass window", just to make it clear.

Very good story though. I didn't know much about the Raven Guard before reading this, but I picked up several useful pieces of information, so thank you for that. It really was an enjoyable read.
Keep it up.
TB
Thanks for the input, I'll have to go back and clarify those lines when I get a chance. For now I've continued the story a ways.

[hr]


One week later…

The sound of a dozen fists pounding the deck reverberated throughout the hangar bay. The strike cruiser, Wings of Corax, was hurtling towards the third planet in the Saldan system known only as SD-109. Their target was a small research station about two hundred miles from the only settlement on the planet. The entire planets population numbered less than ten thousand souls, mostly miners and scavengers. The planet had been the site of a terrible battle during the years following the Horus Heresy when the Imperial Fists and Ultramarines had driven back the Word Bearers and Iron Warriors. The planet was littered in the ruins of war machines, even the great skeletons of a number of mighty Titans, the god machines of the Imperium. Scavengers came to the planet to salvage the remnants of the ancient war and miners dug out the few remaining natural resources from the dead rock. Recently however, something else had been uncovered, or had arrived. Researchers from the mechanicus station had seen a meteor crash into the planet not far from their station, when investigating only two of the eleven researchers who had gone to investigate returned. Those two who returned had no idea how they had done so or what had happened. Barely a week following their return all communication was lost with the research station, not much later the single city had sent a distress call that spoke of strange creatures infiltrating he city and killing everyone. Less than three days after the distress signals began, they stopped abruptly. Fearing the worst the system defense force dispatched almost six hundred soldiers to the city. The soldiers reported finding the entire population of the city dead. The bodies were found in ones and twos until they came to the town hall. The soldiers had to blast their way in, the citizens having barricaded the entrances. Inside the soldiers reported finding an abattoir of bodies, most dismembered beyond recognition, hundreds, perhaps thousands of bodies filling every level of the building. Twenty hours later the soldiers failed to report in, and that was when the Raven Guard had been called.

“The Librarium has estimated that we face a force of Genestealers, from the data we were given the Librarians and the Chapter Master are concerned that this might be the pre-curser to an invasion by a much larger force of Tyranids, possibly a splinter fleet of considerable size. The casualties so far are not our concern, and neither is rescuing any possible survivors, we are being sent to ascertain what has happened and to see what threat we truly face before the Chapter will commit a larger force.” Balthier announced, he had only twelve marines before him, two of which were scout sergeants. Twenty one men in total had been dispatched abourd the Wings of Corax, a small detachment by any standards, but it would be enough, Balthier was certain of it.

“Sir, where will we begin our search?” asked sergeant Farian.

“We will begin at the research outpost and try to locate the impact site from there, the entire planet is covered in artillery and bombardment craters and meteor impacts, our sensors could not locate the most recent so we will have to do it the old fashioned way.” Balhier replied scanning the line of kneeling warriors.

“When do we deploy sir?” inquired sergeant Graylor.

“We will make for the planet via Thunderhawk gunships within the hour, prepare your weapons and perform the rites of battle, I don’t doubt we will find something deserving of the Emperors wrath down there.” Balthier said nodding to his men. “Dismissed.”

Forty three minutes later…

Three Thunderhawks ripped down into the atmosphere of the planet, crowns of flame dancing around them announcing their arrival. The entire force could have fit in a single Thunderhawk, but given the nature of their mission Balthier had split the squads into three separate Thunderhawks with three separate target zones in a triangle around the research facility. With luck no matter what happened they could all cram into a single Thunderhawk and be get back into space. Captain Vincati was taking no chances.

Thunderhawk VII touched down three miles from three miles north of the research facility. Before the craft had even fully touched down, the assault ramp had slammed down, the ten scouts and Captain Balthier leaping out and scanning the landing site for enemies. Scout squad Lamont took point, scouting ahead, their sniper rifles tracking carefully along the horizon. Walking upright and confidently scout Elliard made a straight line for the facility, his heavy missile launcher resting on one shoulder. Any hidden attackers would seek to kill him and meet a sniper round from one of his comrades. Further back Balthier led scout squad Sergar forward. It took the marines less than an hour to reach their destination. Upon their arrival they could already see assault squad Farian keeping the building secure, and signs of squads Graylor’s explosive entrance into the facility.

“Great, we’re late.” Elliard grumbled as they crested the last dune of rock and dirt.

“No, we are right on time,” Balthier corrected the scout. “Sergar, Lamont take your squads and help squad Farian keep the site secure.”

Balthier stepped through the smashed down door of the facility and made his way into the interior. Bodies were everywhere servitors, mechanicus adepts and various other personnel had been hunted down throughout the research station and killed in ones and twos. Balthier saw blood on the floor and walls that had no obvious source from any of the particular bodies and yet was clearly human. An idea formed in his mind of what had happened and moments later as he stepped through the doorway at the bottom of the last staircase his thoughts were confirmed. A barricade had been rapidly constructed around the central generarium of the facility. Gun servitors lay in smoking ruins around its perimeter, their wounds to their rear. Above the scene of carnage behind the barricade Captain Vincati could see the hole in the ceiling from which the attackers had come. They had herded the researchers into this area and then broke down through the ceiling into their midst. The servitors had apparently killed as many of the researchers as the attackers had, spraying random fire into the killing zone.

“Captain, you might want to look at this.” Sergeant Graylor called, picking up several corpses and tossing them aside to reveal a body of one of the attackers.

“It is as we thought then, Genestealers.” Vincati said with an audible sigh, the body of the Tyranid had been blasted open by several lucky bolter rounds, it had died of blood loss, still rending apart the researchers as its life bled away.

“We found several researchers who had been infected and put them down, though I suspect sir, given the lack of transports in the garage that a number of other researchers were infected and possibly gave the pure strain stealers access to the miner’s town.” Graylor said indicating a few bodies that had been killed by accurate bolter fire and then piled against the wall.

“Anything else to report sergeant?” Balthier asked.

“Farian and his squad located the initial drop site of the Genestealers, it was apparently an ork Rok that had been drifting through space for quite some time with the genestealers dormant onboard.” Graylor answered.

“Very well, gather your men sergeant, our next destination is Grey Horizon, let us see what happened there.”
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Old 28 Apr 2007, 11:55   #4 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

certainly interesting.
are the raven guard a GW concieved chapter?
Maureth
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Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn,
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.
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why does no-one remember them?

http://forums.tauonline.org/index.php?topic=79058.0 - A must read!
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Old 28 Apr 2007, 18:26   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maureth
certainly interesting.
are the raven guard a GW concieved chapter?
Maureth
You've never heard of Captain Kayvaan Shrike of the Raven Guard?!?!?!?!
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Old 30 Apr 2007, 14:45   #6 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

Quote:
Thanks for the input, I'll have to go back and clarify those lines when I get a chance. For now I've continued the story a ways.
That's cool. Sometimes if you stop to make everything perfect, you never get anything else written

First the few things I picked out:
Quote:
The sound of a dozen fists pounding the deck
Did you mean "feet pounding the deck"?

Quote:
The entire planets population
This should be "planet's"

Quote:
Twenty hours later the soldiers failed to report in, and that was when the Raven Guard had been called.
The tenses don't agree here. It should be something like: "and that was when the Raven Guard were called in." I'm going to to guess that that may have happened while you were revising (because this is too good for a first draft) and changed half of the sentence but missed the other half. It happens to me all the time, and it still annoys me when I do it.

Quote:
signs of squads Graylor’s explosive
I think you meant "signs of squad Graylor's explosive entry"

Quote:
their wounds to their rear.
Something just doesn't read right here. Maybe try something like "their wounds in their backs" or "killed from behind." I don't know, just read it out loud, and see what you think.

Great read, I really enjoyed it. I hope you have more, because I can't wait to see what happens next.
Keep it up,
TB
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Old 02 May 2007, 19:12   #7 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, he's of the Raven guard, a friend of mine is always wanting to use him, but the battles we have time for a too few points
Maureth
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They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old,
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn,
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.
- Binyon

why does no-one remember them?

http://forums.tauonline.org/index.php?topic=79058.0 - A must read!
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Old 03 May 2007, 19:40   #8 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maureth
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, he's of the Raven guard, a friend of mine is always wanting to use him, but the battles we have time for a too few points
Maureth
He is devastating on the offence and his wing of lightning claw armed warriors are also extremely nasty. However their cost is extreme and they drop just like all other marines, Shrike doesn't even have an invulnerable save, one power fist and he is gone.

The Raven Guard are a first founding chapter, meaning that during the Great Crusade and the Horus Heresy the Raven Guard were one of the 9 Loyal Legions, led by Corax, their homeworld is really a moon called Deliverance where their chapter keep (The Ravenspire) is located. During the Heresy they suffered horrible cassualties in the Drop Site Massacre on Istvaan V, after which Corax tried to speed up the process for creating new marines to rebuild his Legion, the process didn't really work and the abominations he created were horrid, after herding them into battle Corax dissapeared into the Eye of Terror saying "Never more," an E.A. Poe quote. To the current date of 40k the Raven Guard gene seed is still not as stable as it could be and their recruitment is slow, they also have a few other strange glitches in their gene seed that cause most of them to have pale skin and dark hair. The Raven Guard are among my favorite Marine chapters, right alongside the Blood Ravens and the Space Wolves.
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Old 05 May 2007, 10:27   #9 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: The Raven (The Raven Guard 3rd Company)

cheers, more story soon?
Maureth
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They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old,
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn,
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.
- Binyon

why does no-one remember them?

http://forums.tauonline.org/index.php?topic=79058.0 - A must read!
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