[Farseer_Emlyn]

So, Mrs. Emlyn and I are at it again. :P Here's to blowing off a little steam:

Ways in which wargaming is superior to women...
1 ) Miniatures never say "no".
2 ) You can put miniatures away without worrying about whether they were "done" yet.
3 ) If you don't touch your miniatures for a week, there are no hurt feelings about it.
4 ) It's okay to only be interested in miniatures when you're "in the mood".
5 ) When you get tired of miniatures, you can put them away.
6 ) If you get bored with an army or it isn't performing the way you'd like, you can sell it and get a new one.
7 ) You control how much of your money goes into wargaming.
8 ) You can let your friend play with your miniature army and it's okay.
9 ) You can play with your friend's miniatures and it's okay.
10 ) You can play multiple wargaming systems and no one gets jealous.
11 ) You can play non-traditional wargaming systems and it won't disappoint your grandparents.
12 ) Miniatures don't have in-laws.
13 ) With the proper miniatures, a wargaming army can assume a variety of styles of play.
14 ) Miniatures will never want to "just talk".
15 ) Miniatures will never want to cuddle...in fact, it's advised against.
16 ) It's perfectly legal to have multiple miniature armies.
17 ) Miniatures won't critique the clothes you wear or your hair style.
18 ) If someone is gawking at your miniatures, you don't have to worry about them flirting back.
19 ) You can gawk at other people's miniatures and yours won't mind.
20 ) If the grass is greener on the other side...add more flock.
21 ) You never have to remember the anniversary of when you got a specific miniature.
22 ) There are no stupid holidays when you have to buy flowers for your miniatures.
23 ) If a miniature really under-performs, it's okay to take your frustrations out on it.
24 ) Miniatures will never tell you you're wrong.
25 ) Miniatures obey without talking back or questioning your motives.

Any more are welcome.

[Wargamer]

26) You can watch whatever the hell you like on TV without your miniatures demanding you switch over to Dancing on Ice.
27) Miniatures never say one thing and mean the complete opposite. In fact, they never say anything.
28) Miniatures don't ask if Mk IV Maximus Power Armour makes their bum look big.
29) Miniatures don't assume they were held in Reserve because you didn't want them around in the first place.
30) Miniatures don't spend three hours deciding what colour scheme to wear before the battle.


And now, reason woman are superior to wargaming.

1) Miniatures don't look good "naked".

[majonga]

haha, this is quite good, nice one Emlyn.

31) Miniatures are always around when you want to play with them, they don't have to go back to their parents house :P

[Restayvien]

32) Miniatures don't get wrinkles with age.
33) You can buy whatever miniatures you like the look of the most.
34) Miniatures don't nag.
35) When you get bored of the way your miniatures look, you can strip them in white spirit and re-paint them.
36) You can use greenstuff to perfect any flaws in your miniatures.
37) Buying miniatures isn't frowned upon (as much). :P

[AuinMyrrath]

6 ) If you get bored with an army or it isn't performing the way you'd like, you can sell it and get a new one.

See, I did that with a woman once, but then the feds got on my case about "blah blah human trafficking blah blah sex trade"... just not worth the trouble.

[Restayvien]

38) Miniatures won't leave you for another miniature, taking your money, house, dog and children away from you. ^^

[Thantos]

39) Miniatures dont become over-emotional, naggy, hard to please and stressed up, at a certain time each month. :huh:

[hr]

And continuing with; Why Women are Superior to Minis -
2) You cant make love to a Trygon
3) Trygons cant make love to you
4) People look at you oddly if you take your trygon out to clubs and bars
5) The therapy needed after being diagnosed with a trygon fettish is expensive :shifty:

[Farseer_Emlyn]

Nice work guys! Let's keep 'em coming.

40 ) Forums about playing with miniatures are suitable for work. Forums about playing with women are not.

[majonga]

41) After playing with miniatures you don't fall asleep :P

[hr]

6) Ever attempted fellatio with a chunk of metal?

[BloodiedFangs]

Originally Posted by Thantos

2) You cant make love to a Trygon

Yeah, but you can sure as hell have sex with it...it'd be weird and uncomfortable, but you could. Actually, I'm not entirely sure you can make love to a woman either...although at least when you have sex with them, its not quite as weird and uncomfortable.

Originally Posted by Wargamer

28) Miniatures don't ask if Mk IV Maximus Power Armour makes their bum look big.

I can honestly say that a woman has never asked me that.