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Somali Cruises!
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 12:53   #1 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Somali Cruises!

I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap
right now. I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in
the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high @
$800 per person per day, double occupancy, but I didn't find that
offensive as I thought it a good value.

What I found encouraging and enlightening is that the cruise is
encouraging people to bring their high-powered weapons along on the
cruise. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them right
there on the ship. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and
will have reloading parties every afternoon as well as optional
marksmanship training.

The cruise lasts from four to eight days and nights and costs a maximum
of $3200 per person, double occupancy (four days). All the ship does is
sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by
pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the
package:


* $800 U.S./per day, double occupancy (four-day max. billing).

* M-16 full auto rental $25/day, 100 rounds 5.56 armor -piercing
ammo. $15.95.

AK-47 riffle @ No charge, 100 rounds 7.62 com block ball ammo.
at $14.95.

* 20 Barrett M-107 .50-cal sniper rifle rental $55/day, 25
rounds .50-cal armor-piercing ammo at $9.95.

* Crew members can double as spotters for $30 per hour (spotting
scope included).

* They even offer RPGs at $75, $200 dollars for three standard
loads.

* Everyone gets use of free complimentary night-vision equipment
and coffee and
snacks on the top deck from 7:00 p.m.-6:00 a.m.

* Meals are not included but costs seem reasonable.

* Most cruises offer a mini-bar ... these gung-ho entrepreneurs
even offer ... get this .

* DECK-MOUNTED MINIGUN @ $450 per 30 seconds of sustained fire
(Sign me up for that!).

* They advertise group rates and corporate discounts ... and
even claim that the cruise is FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!


They even have a partial money-back offer if not satisfied ... here's
some text from the ad:


"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts
by pirates or we will refund half your money including gun-rental
charges and any unused ammo. (mini-gun charges not included). How can we
guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at five knots
within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted hijacking does
not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at four knots. We
will repeat this for up to eight days making three passes a day along
the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit, bottle
rockets are shot off at intervals, and loud disco music is beamed shore
side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly.
Reserve your package before the end of May and get 100 rounds of free
tracer ammo. in the caliber of your choice."

As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few
Testimonials ...

* I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll never hunt big game
in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!
--Lars, Hamburg, Germany

* Six attacks in four days were more than I expected. I bagged three
pirates and my 12-year-old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun. Well
worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English. --Ned, Salt
Lake City, Utah, USA

* I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't worry
about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship
with those weapons they use. Their squirrely aim reminds me of a drunken
door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam.
--Chopper Dan, Toledo, OH, USA.

* Like ducks in a barrel. This is must do!
--Zeke, Minnahaw Springs, Kentucky, USA
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 13:01   #2 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

This has to be a joke.... :P
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 13:13   #3 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

My thoughts exactly.

but that would be pretty awesome..
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 13:24   #4 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

This had me laughing pretty hard.

Though given the climate you have to think that someone could take this idea seriously and actually try to make it work.
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 13:36   #5 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

This is disgusting...
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 14:11   #6 (permalink)
Ethereal
 
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

I have begun plotting what I will do with my life now...

Start something like this..

But with ZEPLINS!
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 14:58   #7 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Location: Central Ohio
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tau-killer
This has to be a joke.... :P
Yes, it is. Because international law prevents the docking of non-military ships with armed passengers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Winter
This is disgusting...
Yes, it is. Nevermind that these people are starving to death because the international community has made their fishing grounds toxic waste sites. :
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 15:49   #8 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

This is hilarious.
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 16:24   #9 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,233
Default Re: Somali Cruises!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Farseer_Emlyn
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Winter
This is disgusting...
Yes, it is. Nevermind that these people are starving to death because the international community has made their fishing grounds toxic waste sites. :
Even more important than that, the rates on the use of the mini-gun seem seem a unjustly inflated considering they're in all likelihood going to provide you with inferior locally manufactured rounds.

:P
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Old 29 Apr 2009, 17:04   #10 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: Somali Cruises!

Oh, man... I wish this was true. It would be fantastic.
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