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Telemarketers
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 12:03   #1 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Default Telemarketers

Best ways to get rid of them

Crack onto them (But be explicit, talking about genitalia and kinky/dirty stuff (scat, water sports etc)


Say I'll by whatever you are selling if you guess the colour of my underwear. (If they guess it say wrong, I'm freeballing)

Try and sell something to them. (I'm not interested in changing my phone company, but have I got the deal for you!)

Burst into tears saying that your phone was stolen.... (Even though you are talking to them on it)

Anyone got more they'd liek to add?
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 12:07   #2 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: Telemarketers

Well once when they rang me i said i was cooking diner and the potatoes were boiling over, so i put the phone to one side (Not hanginjg up) and just walked off. it cost them money and i got peace and quiet!
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 12:10   #3 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: Telemarketers

Know more than they do.

I have used this on a few occasions, also with door to door salespeople. It pisses them off no end that you know more about a particular subject than they do. Especially if you quiz them on insurance law, or the specifics of their bitrate and uptime guarantees in regards to their DSL services.

It's even better on the phone, where the required information is just a wiki away while you chat. Best to tag-team for that event.

Door to religious people are the easiest.
"Tell me why your god is better than mine, in a way that cannot also be used to prove mine is better than yours."
"Prove my god doesn't exist with an argument that doesn't destroy your god."

Start undressing.

Have someone yell "We're ready for the Virgin (or Mormon, Televangelist, or whatever) sacrifice" from a back room.
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 12:17   #4 (permalink)
Zen
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Default Re: Telemarketers

Live in an Export-orientated Economy :P We sell those junks and services to you, First World types :P
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 12:30   #5 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: Telemarketers

Very simple: most telemarketers will be paid by commission. So every second it important to them. Let them run through their script. Ask questions. Then say "please put me on your no call back list." Presto. You've just wasted X minutes of their pay and you've gotten off their call list.

That said, don't play the "but they're just people trying to make a living too" card with me. :P Unsolicited solicitation is worse than killing puppies in my book of morality.
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 14:09   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Telemarketers

I tell them no, then hang up in their face when they start insisting that I cannot live without their product.

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Old 08 Apr 2009, 14:33   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Telemarketers

Jehovah's Witnesses: So, only 144,000 people go to Heaven Right?

Yes....


Good, then you don't want me taking your spot.
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 14:47   #8 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: Telemarketers

I've always wanted to do the old Seinfeld bit. Basically, ask if you can have their home number and say you'll them. When they say they can't do that, ask if they don't want people calling them and say that now they know how you feel.

Of course nowadays we're starting to get these damned autodialers calling, so you can't even tell them to go to hell anymore.
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 14:51   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Telemarketers

National no call list, its a blessing.
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Old 08 Apr 2009, 15:17   #10 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: Telemarketers

We have something like that here. Unfortunately the morons in charge of it decided to put the damned list up on their website, thus giving out our phone numbers to any telemarketer who either is based out of India, uses recorded messages or just doesn't give a crap...
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