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ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 03:23   #1 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

I would have thought of posting this but it's just gotten too amusing.

For those who don't know, I'm going to assume this is most of you, Somethingawful has a subforum called 'Laissez Faire' or 'LF' for short. Basically 90% of the denizens of that board, me included, is a rabid Obama supporter. Somethingawful's Admins have always been known to run things....differently. So one day several admins decided it would be most amusing to make a thread, the general gist of this thread is, if you post in it, you will enter a contract (or a toxx clause as it's known on SA) where by if Obama loses the general election, your account will be permanently banned from the forums.

The entire point is to have a thread which nobody will post in, because you gain literally nothing by posting in it, you only stand to lose. Somethingawful accounts all cost money, the basic one is $10USD and some of the ones with avatars, search functions, premium upgrades etc. go up to $30USD.

Well, as one member would put it later, sometimes you've got to do something incredibly stupid just to show where you'll stand.
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 03:26   #2 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

So let me guess...you posted on that thread? :P
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 04:04   #3 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

Within the first twenty minutes it became evident to the admins what a bad idea this was.

Quote:
I RIDE THIS SHIP TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA
Quote:
i'm so f$@#ing rational right now
Quote:
I'll shoot two cops with my gun and post pictures if obama lose.s
Quote:
Always bet on black.
Quote:
Almost unfair to have a bunch of middle class caucasian nerd goons puttin their 10 bux on the line for a brother without me
Quote:
I don't even post in here. I'm not even American.

Within a day there were around 115 members signed up to get permabanned. Many of them not even American, some of them not even LF posters. Yet the choom train just grew.

Quote:
ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H TO THE O-PE.
Quote:
Hey I heard there was a black dude running for president, confirm/deny?
Quote:
Just because I'm a lurker doesn't mean I'm a pu#$@. Sign me up.
(lurking refers to members who signed up for an account but just reads and never posts)

Quote:
Hope has spread to Australia, count me in!

Soon brothers and sisters from the GOP arrived in droves to post in moral support

(it doesn't matter who you support, if you post in the thread you enter the clause)

Quote:
ahaha you dumb fags
Quote:
GOP is gonna swfitboat the f$#% out of him, hth, bye bye whore
As well as the economists of the house:

Quote:
Bigger risk, same reward. This thread is for rational actors ONLY.
Quote:
--------------Obama Wins---------Obama Loses
Toxx4Obama=.....(+0)............(permabanned)
Idontpost=......(+0)................(+0)

By my calculation, I have a 75% of winning. So I'm in.


Like the early pioneers driving their wagons out west we grew in number and desperation. A week onwards there were over 150 of us. And our song rung through the virtual lands.

Quote:
That he which hath no stomach to this toxx,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not be banned in that man's company

An election day shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that toxxes himself with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And neckbeards in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That toxxed with us upon election day.

By now we had agreed, that whoever re-registers after being banned (thus paying another $15USD give or take) must come back with a John McCain Avatar. This seemed to be too much for some:

Quote:
WE ALL GONNA DIE
Quote:
cheaper than moving to canada. bring it.
Quote:
Suicide Pact is go!

The days wore on, our feet wearied and boots worn we marched. Our footsteps vanishing like life in the dust of the June heat. Nought to quench our thirst but the sweat on our brow and the all too rare blessed morning dews on our cheeks.

Quote:
Now it's time for hope.
It's time for a change.
Greater responsibility faces us now than ever before.
Greater dangers lurk in the shadows as well.
Every man woman and child must make a choice.
Return to paranoia and fear, or move forward?
Days turned to weeks, still they came, give me your poor and huddled masses, there were more men and wagons in the campsite then I'd known in my life.

Quote:
Pierre-L post in this thread it's not like you're using your account anyway
(two pages later)
Quote:
I'm Pierre-L and I approve this message.
Quote:
registered an account to line up for the firing squad
(yes, the guy spent $10 registering just to enter this clause)


It's now the 14th of June, 2008. One month and a day after the opening of the thread. We don't know if any of us will live past november. Should our souls not survive this great trial ahead, let these names be recorded and remebered:

Quote:
*30.5 Days
*4wheel4chan
*Alfraido
*Appa Time!
*Audhumla
*Bear Report
*Bear Stearns Gang
*Blackbelt Bobman
*Carbohydrates
*Carl Von Awesomwitz
*Catastrophicfailure
*CC Lemon
*CLMoose8
*corpuscollossus
*Danhenge
*DevOhm
*dirigible stew
*Dukt Wraith
*Edmund Lava
*Eggplant999
*Enaku
*F201
*Fark Ranger
*flanneL
*Frankincense
*Frogzilla
*gigglefeimer
*Grimoire
*Humanzee
*IantheKorean
*Itaro Flagg
*John Dough
*Kungfubar
*Mahatma Gandhi
*Mercury
*Motivational Lobster
*mr.market
*Nakayubi
*Ogmius815
*Overmind 2000
*peenworm
*Pistachio Hell
*Priapus
*Redgrendel2001
*saravg
*Sartak
*Sauzer
*ShadowGovernment
*Share Bear
*sirdoudofapples
*squibble
*Steve's Guest
*Sushi in Yiddish
*tallkidwithglasses
*The Dark Project
*therealbiggs
*thereflectinggod
*Thom Foolery
*Totally Reasonable
*tsbicca
*u_s_eh
*Veinor
*Zaasakokwaan
48 Hour Boner
aBagorn
abnormal lumps
Aimbot
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Aliquid
Animal Mother
ANTEATER 4 PREZ
arcticthunder
Ariony
Atomic Soda
atropine
axeil
Azars
B B
bag of a bee
Bass Concert Hall
Bell_
bhsman
boscokitty
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Broken Knees Club
Bruce Hussein Daddy
Bubble Bobdole
Buffer
bukowskiyouth
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Cashatoo
Chamook
chelsea clinton
Chief Rebel Angel
Clinton DYNASTY
Constantine XI
Crazedmongoose
csquared
Dendrophilia
Dezzy
Diagnosed
Didacts and Narpets
doctor robert
Dr. Video Games
dr.sandwich
Duck
Dukt Wraith
Ego Piano
El Anansi
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Fake Pope
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Forpoon
Fran Drescher
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loving JACKALOPE!
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graham wellington
Grem
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High Fructose
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Homo Depot
Horseface
Hucklechops
Hustin Doffman
I am cock
ikarti
Implosion Factory
incoherent
inkwell
izagoof
Jackfruit
James Buchanan
JERFit
jesusbite
jools
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juny bug
karphead
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knucklehead
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LORD OF CHANGE
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Lump Sum
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Master Debater
MasterSlowPoke
maxnmona
MayorOfFrance
McGarnagle
Meatsplosion
Meta Ridley
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million dollar mack
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No Bees!
Nonsense
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Nyo
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obaki makamashimoki
OhhCrap
omlette
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Oredong FAIL
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Ozlet
Pander18
penifSMASH!
pepsiblue
Philly Mansteak
Pierre-L
platzapS
Pleroma
PLUMP RUMP 2K4
prahu****
President Obama
Proe Jetson
Prof Eli ASSBLASTER
Prometheus
purdyaw
PUSSY MASTER 007
Raglios
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Republican Scientologist
RestRoomLiterature
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Sanchless
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scheherezade
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seniorservice
shopvac4christ
Skittle Prickle
Sock It
spydarr
spyinnzus
StabbinHobo
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Static Equilibrium
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Swashbuckler
Tater_tot
temple
The Angry Mongol
The Knobs
the lost boy
TheGrandMystic
TheJrab
The Perfect Chaos
Tile My Roof
Triix
Trylan
Tzen
Username
Vanan
VarangianSam
Vilas Kraut
Vlad Antlerkov
VROOM VROOM
wargamerROB
watchin the wheels
whopkins
Winklebottom
Zikan
Zisky
Our army now numbers over 260 strong and shows no sign of stopping. Men and women, old and young (mostly young), white, black, brown, yellow, all marching as one. We never really knew if there was any hope, or maybe just a fool's hope.

Quote:
can you imagine when this race is won
turn our golden faces into the sun
praising our leaders, we're getting in tune
the musics played by the madmen

forever young, I want to be forever young
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 04:10   #4 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

Now that's inspiring.
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Knowing the rules is not WAAC. Bringing tough lists is not WAAC. Acting within the scope of the rules is not WAAC.
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 04:39   #5 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

Wow.
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 04:42   #6 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

... As a feverent Mcain supporter, I'd just like to say that if Obama does win, it's because the American public can't grow up and face the fact that it made a mistake electing Bush, and now it's blaming the Republicans.

FREE THE SLAVES! POWER TO THE BLACK MAN! Oh wait... this isn't the civil war... nevermind.

I liked it better when you Demmies were the racists and we were the good guys.
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 05:26   #7 (permalink)
Shas'El
 
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daienden Bonerguard
... As a feverent Mcain supporter, I'd just like to say that if Obama does win, it's because the American public can't grow up and face the fact that it made a mistake electing Bush, and now it's blaming the Republicans.

FREE THE SLAVES! POWER TO THE BLACK MAN! Oh wait... this isn't the civil war... nevermind.
No, it's because the American public wants a more liberal president in office, not because they "can't grow up". Whether you like it or not, Bush was supported by the Republican party, so they are to blame. Thanks to Bush, Obama has a good chance of winning.

Anyway, those posters are still pretty ballsy.
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Quote:
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 05:38   #8 (permalink)
Shas'O
 
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

Quote:
Chief Rebel Angel
Clinton DYNASTY
Constantine XI
Crazedmongoose
csquared
Dendrophilia
Dezzy
Diagnosed
Whenever I feel down I just go back and glance at this list and it makes me .


Oh man if Obama loses two entire subforum numbering over a thousand active members will promptly implode. In the few hours before we all get banned we'll just spam and troll the crap out of everything, party like there's no tommorow.

It's as if millions of Obama supporters screamed out in pain and then were suddenly silenced.


Then after that it'll be a ghost town and the like.....four Ron Paul supporters that's still not banned (they mostly claused themselves in a similar style before the primaries) will rise up and rule.
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 05:39   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

What does GOP stand for?
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Old 14 Jun 2008, 05:42   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS HOPE, H to the OPE BI$@#ES

The republican party, which is also known as the Grand Old Party, because they're so old they were founded around 50-60 years after the Democrats.

No don't ask me how it works.
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