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A question to all American drivers
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Old 11 Mar 2007, 20:27   #1 (permalink)
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Default A question to all American drivers

Note to readers: This is meant to be a somewhat tongue-in-cheek thread, but please do answer it all the same. For maximum enjoyment, read the questionairre in the style of Jeremy Clarkson.

You can't get through an episode of Top Gear without Clarkson making a dig at the Americans. That said, you can't really blame him. Almost every US-car gets the same review; a monster engine and a beautiful body, marred by a tacky interior and a suspension system that was never meant to handle a gentle curve, let alone a full-blown European road network.

Before anything else, I would just like to give you all my favourite Top Gear quote on this issue...

"The designers of this car (a Caddilac) found what is, in America, a very rare book; an Atlas. In this they found many places that weren't America. One of these places was called 'Urop', and in Urop they found a place called 'Gurmany', and in Gurmany they found... the Nurburg ring."


Suffice to say, that place would kill most American sports cars. However, this is not a topic dedicating to digging American cars... oh no, we're here to take the piss out of the drivers!
So, I invite all American drivers to bear witness to the horrors of Urop, and answer the following question...

On a scale of 1-5, 1 being completely unphased and 5 being so scary you need a change of pants, please rate the following hazards. Be warned, for they are wierd and unsettling things, totally alien to the United States, so you can rest assured you'll never need to drive on them.

[size=14pt]The Country Road[/size]

A far cry from the seventy-three lane freeways of the USA, the Country Road is a winding, unmarked deathtrap, designed to be just large enough to fit a tractor down. They daemons, fed off the souls of departed suspension-systems, and are designed so that the only way you can have two-way traffic is for one car to drive in the hedge. There are no street-lights to illuminate them at night, and terrible, predatory monsters known as "trees" stand ever-ready to consume the foolish Driver who decides to pull up and consult a map.

[size=14pt]The Roundabout[/size]

Conceived in the mind of a madman, the Roundabout is a ring of road where everyone except you has right of way. Designed to cause maximum accident-potential, the Roundabout has all the key features of british-driving; confusing road-markings, sharp corners and a guaranteed long queue of traffic during rush-hour. The Roundabout's most curious feature, however, is that someone decided the best places to keep rockeries, flower beds, statues, trees and small public parks is in the middle of a busy intersection. The largest of these Roundabouts can be found perched over Motorways, ensuring nobody has a clue how to get on or off the things, as God intended.

[size=14pt]The Bend[/size]

Roads are meant to go in straight lines. This is the fundamental principle of American automotive engineering. After all, people use Roads to get from A to B without passing through T, S and Q on the way.

However, the Europeans may have invented the Straight Road in Roman times, but today they go for a much more free-flowing approach. They go around things, not through them. The road twists and turns for no apparant reason, going left and right even though there's no sign of a junction, or traffic lights.

This is probably the most alien of road-designs to the American motorist.
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Old 11 Mar 2007, 20:44   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

- 1 - Not to scary just drive slow and carefully. Although your not gonna be able to fit if your in a Hummer or a suburban.

- 2 - cant see the picture but roundabout seems like it would give alot of American drivers road rage , not realy scary just frustrating.

- 5 - Pretty dam scary, not a single railguard incase you miss the road, then you'll go flying off the edge. I have an Izuzu Trooper that is very top heavy and if I drove around those corners to fast I would flip my car.


This is the type of road American cars are built for. A FREEWAY!






ps. Wargammer next time please resize your images because it makes it really hard to reply to your post since the pictures have strecthed out my screen far


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Old 12 Mar 2007, 01:16   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

We have a roundabout where I live.

Quite nice, a bit more trouble than a 4 way stop but far more efficient considering most 4 way stops usually take about 3-5 minutes of waiting. (That sounds less worse than it is.)
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Old 12 Mar 2007, 01:32   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

1- I live in the country, no biggie
2- No picture, can't tell
3- There is an old, winding road my family(and now friends)use to get to tulsa, it's a short drive to the highway from there. We use it to avoid tollbooths.
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Old 12 Mar 2007, 01:42   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

--2-- In good old West Virginia, we have many 1 and 1.5 lane roads. Still wouldn’t want to drive on one.

--1-- I think I know what you’re talking about. If I’m right, here in the US we call them traffic circles; they’re annoying as anything, but not really scary.

--2-- In West Virginia, we have turns were you meet your own tail lights. ;D, They also usually have a cliff on one side and a 50 ft. drop on the other. I still wouldn’t want to drive on them.

Very funny though. I had a good laugh reading it.
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Old 12 Mar 2007, 02:40   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

Wargammer you changed the third picture! now it has railguards! That ruins my original post!
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Old 12 Mar 2007, 02:58   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

Lemme think. I just went to Honduras, the place that makes all American and European Cars weep in fear. In Honduras, there are four vehicles there: Mitsubishi, Toyota, Nissan, Ford Dump Trucks.

And I'm talking the 9000 series.

The big Mofos...

My fear levels:
1
4-2 (depends on how angry I am)
1
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Old 12 Mar 2007, 20:56   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

Wargamer you are an idiot. Have you ever been to the States. I've been to England, and the only problem is that you drive on the wrong side of the road there. We do have roundabouts, and country roads. Contrary to your belief, the US is more than one gigantic urban sprawl. Come see it. In the meantime drink some more piss warm beer and keep your pie-hole shut. You are very un-funny.
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Old 12 Mar 2007, 21:10   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

Quote:
Originally Posted by greensmurf
Wargamer you are an idiot. Have you ever been to the States. I've been to England, and the only problem is that you drive on the wrong side of the road there.* We do have roundabouts, and country roads. Contrary to your belief, the US is more than one gigantic urban sprawl. Come see it.* In the meantime drink some more Aulma warm beer and keep your pie-hole shut.* You are very un-funny.

Ok, calm down, it's a toungue-in-cheek thread. (No doubt Wargamer's opinion is that everyone else is driving on the wrong side of the road but that's him for you)

Secondly, what makes you think that all Brits drink luke-warm beer?

And thirdly, as far as i'm concerned the main problem with British roads is the detours for roads that are being dug up and rebuilt, Where work starts in 2006 and will be finished (if we're lucky) by 2070
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Old 12 Mar 2007, 21:27   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: A question to all American drivers

1 - Not bad at all.
? - I've never actually been on one, so I wouldn't know one way or the other.
3 - I've driven on them before, but the trick is trying not to look down.

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Originally Posted by Hadhfang
And thirdly, as far as im concerned the main problem with British roads is the detours for roads that are being dug up and rebuilt, Where work starts in 2006 and will be finished (if we're lucky) buy 2070
You think that's bad, come see the Mitchell Interchange here in Milwaukee. It's been in the process of "renovating" for years, and it's still just one big pile of concrete.
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