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Had enough.
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 22:11   #1 (permalink)
Ethereal
 
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Default Had enough.

I'm sick of the way things are going.

I hate having no control, of things going wrong for me, for my family, being beaten down by those above me with no way to hit back.

I want to scream, to fight, to kill, to tear it all down and burn it all and damn it all to hell... but I can't. I can't because I'd damn myself to the pyre as well, and those I hate would emerge like a vermin phoenix.

There is light behind me, but I can't go back. There is light ahead, but the path is hidden, and I cannot tell for sure whether that light is salvation, or damnation. To worsen matters it is not I who walks the path, but I will feel the pain of their damnation just as hard for the crime of existing with them.

Words fail me, for what good are they? I cannot weild them, for should I do so, here or anywhere, I'll be damned for the crime of having a voice.

To hell with this, I'm out of here.
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 22:21   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

Dude....are you OK? However bad things get, they can be sorted out. I really wish I could meet you in person dude.

Please don't do what I think you are going to do. Please mate. We cares about you.
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 22:36   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kangaroo Joe
Please don't do what I think you are going to do. Please mate. We cares about you.
I'm not certain what you think I'm going to do, but I assure you I'll be breathing at the end of it, just so you know.
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 22:39   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

Thank gods for that. Don'tcha ever do that to me again, mate. Ok, back to playing bass. I have a song to learn by tomorrow, and I only vaguely know it. You have MSN, mate? If ya wanna chat, Flame_boy_the_piper@hotmail.com. Same goes for all the rest of ya, no worries.
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No love, it's GREAT Britain....the clue's in the name

Thanx to Kais for the sig
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 22:47   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

Wargamer sounds like me on one of my implosive anger days which leads to explosive anger weeks later. Yes I have issues to resolve too. Just count your blessings or do what I do and take kendo which is my anger management class* :. Nothing saids calming down like yelling at someone and whacking people on the head with a practice sword* ;D.
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Old 06 Dec 2005, 23:51   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

So you're feeling like you have no control... that others are suffocating you...
and that you'd like to hit back, but can't.

Is this a general feeling, or attributed to a more specific source? I'd like to help as much as I can, but I'd like to know more, if possible.
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Old 07 Dec 2005, 00:03   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

WG, dude, you know that we all respect you a tremendous amount, especially me, so WG, we are all here to help, as you have helped us out time and time again...

and i'm sure you should write some song lyrics or poems or something... ;D
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Originally Posted by Aloh´Ta
Edit by FT: Corrected your grammar and made it easier to read.
Eidt by JD: I dunno how you managed to read it after the changes FT
Edit by AC: JD you've spelt edit incorrectly...
Edit by WG: I just wanted to be part of the moment. :P
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Old 07 Dec 2005, 00:48   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

I'm going to venture a guess, and enquire if this is something to do with you no longer being a Mod? (Your name isn't a light blue in the 'who's online' bit of the forum)
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- His Exalted Majesty, The Ethereal 'Unforeseen Truth'
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Old 07 Dec 2005, 00:48   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

Hey man, calm down, and just relax for a few seconds. It is hard, from what we can see, it might not get better just yet, but it will, just know we are all here for you.

yeah I know that sonds kinda khorny, but it's true. Keep your head straight, and don't make stupid choices. Problems are temporary.
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Old 07 Dec 2005, 02:51   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Had enough.

My life spins recklessly as I hold on for dear life. For that is all that is left. Life. But do I want life? Is this what I am after now, or is it something that we mindlessly cling to like moronic fools? Some thing that we are taught from birth, something that we claim to know is right, but we cannot prove. Our lives mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, but we seem them as sacrosanct nonetheless. How is this so?

Fighting...Screaming...Leaving nothing but ruins and ashes behind me. Is it worth it? What is there left upon this hellish, barren landscape? Nothing. I walk alone now. No one is left beside me, nothing is waiting for me ahead.

But the light. The light looks at me. It says that I am right. But what is right? If we do not know that life is right, then we have nothing. No basis to base ourselves on. We have nothing to fall back on, nothing to look forward to. We are alone. We wonder in our own minds, we wander upon this barren landscape. Ruins and ash behind, the light before.

The path has been laid to dust. The light blinds me, but I can't help but wonder, is it right? Even if it is... What is right? If life isn't right... We have nothing. Nothing to fall back on for a pure basis that cannot go wrong. Without an immutable base... We're alone.

Now I have left. My soul is free, but is freedom right? We cannot know. Again and again we realize... Life, freedom... those are what we live for. We live our lives because we're taught that. We love our freedom, because, without it, seeing the one we love before us means nothing. They aren't there because their freedom allows it. They are there because we want them to be. This is hell. Everything I want happens, and nothing goes wrong. This is what hell is like. I'm in hell.

But it is that, it is the fact that things go wrong that make life perfect. Happiness isn't perfect, it's not a virtue, it's something to base pain against. Pain makes us who we are. Without pain, we cannot live. It invigorates us to do better. Without pain, we cannot know failure. Without failure, we can't know what success means to us. If we always win, it's no longer an accomplishment, it is simply what happens.

Words spill forth from my mouth, trapped in a stream of nothingness. Their power is lost because of me. Life, freedom, they mean something, but my words are held in such a way, that they endanger the freedom of others. They pull people to me, but then... Victory loses its meaning. It just happens. Words win me the battle. I don't want victory... I want life. I want meaning. I want something to strive for.

I may leave. But I'll be back. My failure brings me peace. My failure... That's what makes me... Me.




You're never alone. Your soul is always with you. Hate. Love. Failure. Victory. They go hand in hand. They make us who we are. We are better than others in ways they cannot comprehend because of what we do. You'll always have someone waiting for you on the road. I'll wait for you beyond the light before you. Find me. That will be your victory. After ages of failure, that is what you work for. You will find it. It will be perfect for that split moment. But then... Just then... You will know. It's all been worth it.



Find me.
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