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WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!
Old 16 Dec 2009, 17:41   #1 (permalink)
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Default WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Ultramarines (w/Vulkan) (1850pts; 12/16/09): "'Tis the Season... for Carnage!"

Hi All,
This is a bit of an oldie, something that I found while cleaning up my battle reports.
I wasn't going to post it up, as it has no pictures ( ), but then inspiration struck and well...
Just enjoy!


P.S. Given the scope of what I'm trying to do, there is a LOT of fluff, and it'll be posted over a couple of posts (sorry!)
I'll make the actual turn by turn it's own section though, for those who want to skip to the action
Oh, and C&C, always is greatly appreciated!

WAARGH Grumgutz Alternate 54 "Fasta Krumpin'" (1850pts) 89 Infantry, 3 Walkers, 1 Vehicle; 11 KPs
Warlord Grumgutz Bitzgrabber (Warboss with PK, Bike, Cybork Body)
Big Mek Wingnut (Big Mek w/ KFF)
Da Big Five (5 Nob Bikerz with Painboy Dokta Chop, 2PKs, 2BCs, Cybork Bodies, WAARGH! Banner, Bosspole; Counts as Troop)
TinEar and Da Deffboyz (Lootazx10)
Da Sinista Six (6 Nobz w/ Painboy Dokta Kutta, Cybork Bodies, 2PKs, Kombi-Skorcha, WAARGH! Banner, Bosspole)
Shoota Boyzx25 w/PK Nob
Shoota Boyzx25 w/PK Nob
Brother-Captain-Major-Sargeant Skarbutz and Da Biggfait 1st Stormboyz Battalion (Stormboyzx15 w/PK Nob, Bosspole)
BigToof (DeffDread with total 3 CCW, Skorcha; Counts as Troop)
Da Big Red Cheez (Battlewagon w/Deffrolla, Red Paint Job, Big Shoota, Armor Plates; Dedicated Transport)
BigToof's Steelgrots (Killa Kansx2 w/Grotzookas)

Ultramarines Holiday Force (1850pts) 38 Infantry, 2 Walkers, 3 Vehicles; 11KPs
Forgefather Vulkan He'Stan
Captain Excelsior Maximus w/Bike, Relic Blade
Assault Terminatorsx8 (DLCx2, TH/SSx6) in LR (see below)
Dreadnaught w/ Multi-Melta and Heavy Flamer in Drop Pod
Dreadnaught w/ TL Lascannon, ML
Tactical Squad Marinesx10 w/Flamer, ML, PF
Tactical Squad Marinesx10 w/Flamer, ML, PF
Space Marine Bikesx8 w/Attack Bike w/Multi-Melta (Meltagun, PF; split into two squads)
Predator w/Autocannon, Side Sposon Heavy Bolters
Land Raider Crusader w/ Multi-Melta

A Special Holiday Episode of WAARGH Grumgutz!
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Captain Excelsior Maximus of Ultramarines stead
was ready for sleep all tucked in his bed.
It was a truly good day to be a marine,
as they had just all been released from Inquisitoral quarantine.
The Warp hadn't been as bad as he thought,
plenty of Daemons though, that they had fought.
Then luckily picked up by a group of Rogue Traders,
(who unfortunately later were executed as traitors)
and delivered back to the arms of the Imperium
(much to the disappointment of the Adeptus Administrum).

Yes, thought the Space Marine Captain,
it was good to get back to the action.
They had missed much, for in their stead,
a slathering bunch of Space Wolves had been bred.
However, they quickly lost their luster,
and back to the fore did the Ultramarines muster.

Maximus yawned and was about to turn out the light,
when he heard an alarm that gave him a fright!
and the entire force of Ultramarines complied.
With optimal speed and regalia in tow,
the Space Marines all were ready to go,
as they gazed up in the sky and saw with despair,
a firey red comet blazing through the air.
They waited, expecting a possible bombardment,
but were surprised when the spectacular comet,
shed it's coat of flame,
when retro-thrusters kicked in and out came
a shining Green Drop Pod with tinsel on it!

The pod landed with a THUD that made the ground shake,
and the dazzled marines peered through the wake.
Then was heard a jolly sound that made them all gasp,
it was a "HO HO HO" (with a bit of a rasp).
As out from the Drop Pod, carrying his sack,
was Forgefather Vulkan He'stan with quite a big pack.
"Forgefather!" cheered all the marines,
as they abandoned their posts and made a big ring,
around the Forgefather who was gathering his things.
"Merry Emperormas!" shouted the Salamander,
who was greeted with shouts, cheers and all sorts of clatter.
"I've brought presents for all the good marines here,
who fight against Xenos, Heretics and fear.

Tactical Marines, although you have not,
the same numbers of special weapons that you ought,
you keep on fighting day after day,
making the enemy reliably pay.
So... I've brought something that should help you a bit,
Twin-linked Flamers and Melta Guns! (and a maintenance kit)."
The Marines hollered and took their new guns,
testing the sights and the straps, every one.

Vulkan then turned to the Assault Terminators next,
who held their breaths (hoping beyond hope that he had recieved their multi-paged text).
"And to the First Company, who have exemplary manners,
I give them the gift of... Master-Crafted Thunder Hammers!"
The Terminators all shouted in glee,
and pranced about like Schoolboys (who had just bought a new Wii).

"Oh, and I haven't forgotten my big friends," he said to the Land Raider and Dreads,
"Twin-Linked Multi-Meltas for you all!" and the big Walkers went out of their heads,
for now they could truly give out the pain,
and casually blast away transports again and again.

"And for a very special boy," the Forgefather continued, looking around
"Is there a... Maximus, in this camp to be found?"
"Here!" said an excited voice, as Captain Maximus ran,
pushing past Marines (as fast as only he can).
"To you, my dear boy, there is a special gift,
for you keep on fighting, even though you admit,
that losing to foes like the Orks is a bit hard to swallow,
but even in that shame you don't wallow."
The Forgefather then held something out, especially made,
and Maximus gasped and drew out a gleaming blade.
"A Relic Blade!" whispered the Captain, amiss,
"It really is Emperormas!"

The Grumgutz in Orkhaven was in a bad mood.
Emperormas again? It had seemed like too soon.
The Grumgutz hated Emperormas, because all the good bitz,
went to Beakies and Runties and all of those gitz.
It seemed really unfair that they got all of that practically free
(even though it did cost points, a point anyone could see).
He snorted as he looked at Marineville aglow,
with Beakies shooting out gouts of flame into the snow.
Then, an evil thought crossed his mind, and made the Warboss smirk,
he'd take all of those bitz. Yes, this would work.

He'd take all of their bitz, and the Big Beakie's sack too,
he'd grind it all up and drop it into the loo.
Then there'd be no more Twin-linked whatzit or Master-Fitted wigga-ma-phone,
it'd be again a straight up fight with all of that gone.
The Grumgutz looked out and sighted his prey,
that Vulkan He'stan had HO'd his last HO this day.
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Old 16 Dec 2009, 18:07   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Ahem, ok true to my previous post, I won't use the rhyming bits for this part, it'd be too heady even for me!

Pre-Game Thoughts: A rather interesting list, rather fluffy with Vulkan at the helm of a huge group with Meltas, Flamers and a Land Raider. Oh, and a LOT of Assault Termies...
It was good to see the Marines again, as they had gotten replaced with Space Wolves for just too long of a time. And it was interesting to see Maximus on a bike! With a relic blade!
Things really do change! I'm not sure where his Rhinos went. I suspect it was lack of points in this early rebuild, but still, at least it would keep their movement down...
Still, the Orks did have the advantage of numbers, and time would tell how things would pan out...

Mission: Command and Control
Setup: Pitched Battle
Terrain: Ruins (default)

The terrain was again fairly well scattered with a few small pieces of rubble near the center of the board. A good sized building was in the Orks' deployment zone, and the Lootas set up shop there. The Battlewagon was deployed with the Sinista Six and Wingnut. Grumgutz was deployed with the Nob Bikers.
The Marines setup fairly well spread out, with the predator and bikes to the left, the Lascannon dread and Land Raider in the center, and the Vulkan and marine squads camped out near the marine objective to the right.

Old School ASCII Deployment Map!:

P B1 D2 V/TS1
B2 LR TS2*

St Sh1 L* Sh2

Reference List:
NB=Nob Bikers BT=BigToof BW=Battlewagon K=Kans
St=Stormboyz Sh1=Shoota Mob1 L=Lootas Sh2=Shoota Mob2

B1= Bikers (PF, Meltagun) w/Capt. B2=Bikers w/Attack Biker
D2= Dreadnaught (TL Lascannon, ML) LR= Land Raider w/Terms
V=Vulkan TS1=Tac Squad1 TS=Tac Squad 2


Vulkan fails to steal the initiative, and the game is on!

Turn 1: Orks
Grumgutz looked out in the gloom and was surprised when he heard a high-pitched beeping.
He gazed through the mist and snow and saw his old foe Captain Maxie, on a shiny new bike!
The Space Marine was happily popping wheelies and laughing at the Orks.
Grumgutz peered down at his own bike, which suddenly seemed old and dirt-caked (and not in the good way).
He growled. That Vulkan would pay for messing everything up!

Almost all of the Orks run screaming at the enemy, the only notable mishap being one of Skarbutz's lads forgetting to land right side up, and falls rokkit first into the ground. BOOM! Down one Stormboy...
The Lootas also fired at Dreadnaught2 (the Lascannon Dread), unfortunately only managing to shake the big machine.

Turn 1: SM
The Marines smiled as they heard that familiar sound that makes all Ork players wince:
The whistling screech of an incoming Drop Pod!
"Destroy the Warboss and his bodyguard at all cost!" yelled Maximus. "Let's warm them up a bit with a bit of Emporermas hospitality."
"Oi! Dat's Warlord, Maxie! Youz been away too long!" howled back Grumgutz. The big Ork smirked. His plan was working as the marines began to focus on him and his Nobz. Now they'd see how hard the Orks could be!

Dreadnaught Crassus (Dreadnaught1) in its Drop Pod landed square behind the Nob Bikers, separating them from the Stormboyz.
Captain Maximus and his Biker Squad moved in towards the Nob Bikers.

Deciding that was enough for the Nob Bikers, the other half of the Bikers (Biker Squad 2 with its Attack Bike) moved forwards towards Da Big Red Cheez, and the Land Raider moved forwards as well towards the Shoota-2 mob, deploying out their Terminators.
The Land Raider and Attack Bike fired their multi-meltas at Da Cheez, but mediocre penetraing rolls and the KFF prevented any damage from being done.

Now onto shooting!

Captain Maximus and his squad, together with Dreadnaught Crassus fresh from the Pod, fired at the Nob Bikers, showering them with flame, melta and bolts from both front and rear, but the hard as all Bikers zip through almost all of it, one Nob taking a flesh wound for its trouble.
The Land Raider (dangable Machine Spirit lets them target two units/turn...) fired at Shoota2 with its mighty Hurricaine Bolters and Assault Cannon, killing a mighty chunk out of Shoota2.

The Terminators then go in and slaughter Shoota2, losing two of their own in the process. Being pared down to just a few Orks (thanks to Vulkan's completely insane Master-Crafter Hammers), the mob turns and runs!

Turn 2: Orks
At about this point, the Marines realized that there is something as too much of a good thing, as the Terminators are left hanging in the breeze.

Da Big Red Cheez honked its horns, signalling that yes, it's Deffrolla time!
The Battlewagon gunned its engines, Deffrolling through the terminators, crushing one unfortunate Marine to paste before barrelling into the Land Raider. The massive roller penetrates, wrecking the mighty Marine vehicle!
Before the machine grinds to a complete halt, the Sinista Six leap out, grinning evilly at the entrenched TS2.
BigToof marches forward towards the Attack Biker squad (B2).
The Nob Bikers, meanwhile advance on the other Biker squad (B1) and the Predator, while Skarbutz and his boyz (losing ANOTHER Ork to rokkit-related mishaps), surround the Dreadnaught, waiting to get their lumps in.

Seeing that all of his army was ready to go, Grumgutz sounded his WAARGH!

To start things off, the Lootas fire out at the Terminators getting about a dozen or so wounds! The Terminators wilt at that much firepower and four of the mighty marines fall!
The Sinista Six fleeted forward, and easily crossed over the patch of cover protecting TS2 (The squad without Vulkan. Wanted an easier battle first ). With a flurry of Klaw, the Marines were all torn asunder.

Great violence continued, as BigToof slammed into Biker Squad2, wiping out the squad.

And, not to be outdone, Grumgutz and Da Big Five assaulted into Biker Squad1, kicking Captain Maximus and his crew to the curb, and also taking the time to tear into the Predator, destroying all three weapons and stunning the tank.
The Marines did do a few wounds, and Maximus tried to take out Grumgutz with his new relic blade, unfortunately finding out that T6 is still hard to hurt!

Being ever helpful, Skarbutz and his ladz assaulted the Dreadnaught, and even though they lost one Stormboy, the PK did its job and wrecked the mighty Dread.

And as a final bit of violence on the turn, the Killa Kans waddled forward and took apart the last Terminator.

Everyone consolidated forward towards the remainder of the marine force.
(Whew! That's a lotta krumpin'! I wish I had pictures! )

Turn 2: SM
After that onslaught of violence, the Space Marines realized that massive consolidation of force (i.e. PULL BACK DAMMIT!) was necessary.
The Lascannon Dread fired at BigToof, hitting and stunning the Dread.
Vulkan/TS1 flamed, then assaulted the Sinista Six. Vulkan shows why he's in charge and with a jolly HO HO HO, puts three wounds on the squad!
The marines, obviously ecstactic about his efforts also put a hurting the Six, who lose combat with some pretty sad rolling (although barely), but still manage KO about a third of the marine squad (including the PF and ML!) before getting run down.

Turn 3: Orks
Grumgutz looked out at the fighting, realizing that there wasn't much left! Still, eager to get a decent kill, he snarled, ordering his Bikers to pull up behind the last surviving Dreadnaught.
All of the Nob Bikers get ready to shower Dreadnaught2 with rear Dakkagun shots, but it's found to be entirely unnecessary as the Lootas rail a horde of shots into the Dread, wrecking it.

The Stormboyz also hop forwards (luckily not harming themselves in the process) and take out the stunned Predator.

Da Big Red Cheez and Wingnut swing around, getting ready to tank shock.
The Kans assault Vulkan (after deciding not to shoot, the range was a bit chancey to begin with), taking down three marines. Vulkan manages to shake one, but for no real damage. The Marines hold, trying to keep this last bastion secure.

Turn 3: SM
The Kans continue to beat on the squad, finishing off the last of the tactical squad. This time, Vulkan fails to get a glance, but holds.

With only Vulkan left (and perhaps not wanting to see a grisely demise for the Forgefather, it is Emperormas after all...), the SMs concede.

Result: Ork Victory!

Edit: Edited for an easier read!
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Old 16 Dec 2009, 18:11   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Post-Game Thoughts:
Wow, I feel sort of bad, that was a nasty mugging given by the Green Machine.
Still, it was chalked up as a test run (though not such a successful one) for the new, more mobile Marine list.
I think the Marine player also learned not to rely on Vulkan's gifts too much, especially when dealing with the Nob Bikers (who are still quite dangerous).
As of yet, I've seen him retool the list a few times, and I'm sure something nasty will come my way soon

The Grumgutz skidded to a stop and reached down to grab up,
the shining red bag that Vulkan had dropped.
"Now I gotz yer bitz," said the Grumgutz, his voice without pause,
"I'll get rid of 'em all and then we'll be back to how things was."
Then over the cries and the screams and the calls,
came a strange sound that made the Grumgutz pause.
Vulkan was laughing, his armor shaking,
and said, in a voice that wasn't one bit quaking,
"It's up to you if that is what you truly want to do
but look inside first, to find the present... for you."
Then with a tip of his spear and a touch to his face,
the Forgefather left in a teleport haze.

The Grumgutz paused, thinking and thinking,
it seemed like a trap, but he couldn't help the sinking
feeling in his gut that seemed to be bringing,
his hand into the bag that seemed over-brimming.

He pulled something out, and paused in surprise,
as it was exactly what he had wanted right before his eyes!
A pair of antlers, perfectly made, sewed onto a wig,
seemingly perfect for Gobnobbler (his squig).

More and more Orks crowded 'round the Warboss' head,
more poured from the camps as the news quickly spread.
Perfect gifts were handed out with glee,
too many to count, (but at least more than three).

Big Mek Wingnut had a huge wrench, bigger than couches
fancily made with big sewn-on pouches.

Warphead Lorilune was given a bejeweled crown with the words "Eldar Princess,"
which she scoffed at (but would wear to sleep with a smile nonetheless).

Warboss Grimskull had a magnet on a stick
to help him find a dropped Kaptin Lucky through the flooring right quick.

And Skarbutz adored his new megaphone,
which helped him yell louder than he could on his own.

BigToof was the envy of the crowd when,
he was given two gifts: a ball and fur collar.
Perfect gifts for his pets: Fuzgob and Mr. Fluffy,
who had been looking a bit pekid (and maybe a bit soggy).

Grumgutz looked around at his crew,
all of them having a grand time,
and then, all of a sudden it hit him full on.
He'd been too busy grumping and knashing,
complaining about what he'd been lacking.
Even the krumping he'd done had seemed a chore,
just something to do and a bit of a bore.
"Perhaps, Emporermas ain't about winnin' or bitz,
it's about havin' fun with yer mates and punchin' some gitz!"

It was said on that very same day,
the Grumgutz's heart swelled three sizes (or so some say).
With a laugh in his voice, and a smile on his gob,
the Warlord shouted orders to his mob,
to pile the Beakies together on a sleigh,
and send them (with the bag) on their way.
Grumgutz felt sad that he'd squandered his fun,
and declared at that time, to the Orks, every one,
"Merry Emperormas to all and to all a good fight!"

Thanks for reading!

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Old 16 Dec 2009, 19:34   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Originally Posted by BigToof
Captain Excelsior Maximus of Ultramarines stead....
.................................................. .................
The Grumgutz looked out and sighted his prey,
that Vulkan He'stan had HO'd his last HO this day.
lol! That was some great work there on your part. Really imaginative stuff there I have to say. I had a smile on my face and laughed abit all the way though it.

Also to your battle (Beats you up for the lack of Piccys) that went well again for the Ork. Also nice to see your old list. Am just waiting now for your Post-Game Thoughts and more literary madness!
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Old 16 Dec 2009, 22:00   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Thanks for the reply!
I hope you'll like the ending too, I hope it's not too corny
And the lack of pics was the reason I wasn't going to put it up in the first place, but it just seemed to click

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Old 16 Dec 2009, 22:12   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Originally Posted by BigToof
Thanks for the reply!
I hope you'll like the ending too, I hope it's not too corny
And the lack of pics was the reason I wasn't going to put it up in the first place, but it just seemed to click


Dont worry, you made up for it with your get fluff :-)

Edit: I just read the last bit, Wow very good reading. I think am going to have to have a look in your brain.... erm ;D Good stuff amyway
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Old 16 Dec 2009, 23:36   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Thanks for your compliment!
I try to do my best, but being an amateur wordsmith, I know it's far from perfect.
Still, glad you liked it!

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Old 17 Dec 2009, 01:07   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

ROFL, that was hilarious ;D

Well written and very imaginative, I couldn't help but read the battle report to the tune in my head though

I think Grumgutz handing out the presents has sealed his place as Warboss
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Old 17 Dec 2009, 01:15   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Glad you liked it!
It took actually much longer than I thought it would to write (and I had to choke-slam down a couple of the rhymes. Hoped nobody noticed...).
Haha, perhaps the presents did help Grumgutz with his Warlord position!

Now on a more serious note, this BatRep was really about all of the craziness that is out there in 40k at the moment.
When something like Vulkan lists hit the table, people seem to overreact and the whole FUN of the game seems to go right out of it.
After reading my rep, I had asked myself: 'Toof what are you doing? You just CRUSHED that list!
And it was just really his first baby steps back into SM, instead of trying to milk every cheez point out of the Wolves.
Luckily, he hasn't given up at all, and it's turned into a very fast, very sleek list, that is much more fun to play against than his old "I've got more Termies in Land Raiders than you" sort of build.
The Vulkan aspect is a bit annoying, but once you get past that, well, it's still business as usual for Orks.
So just remember, have fun! And don't take it personally when a list tries to do something different.
Don't listen to the internet and think your mate is an utter git for playing with special character X.
Who knows, you may be passing up fun that you didn't know!

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Old 17 Dec 2009, 03:22   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Vulkan (1850pts; 12/16/09): 'Tis the Season... for Carnage!

Haha great battle report as usual! I dont know whats more sad, your dr suess fluff, or the fact that ir ead all of it! Haha good times my firend!
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