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WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"
Old 03 Nov 2009, 10:00   #1 (permalink)
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Default WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

Dear All,
Welcome to another Grumgutz tale!
This one features WAARGH Grumgutz (uh, sans Grumgutz again) vs a Thousand Sons army of epic porportions. I'd fought this army once before, so now each commander was more aware of the trickiness and traps of each other and well, it turned into a heck of a fight. Oh and uh... there's a reason or two why

Read on!


P.S. As always C&C is greatly appreciated.

WAARGH Grumgutz Alternate 58 "More Dakka!!!"(1850pts): 81 Infantry, 3 Walkers, 3 Artillery, 2 Vehicles; 13 KPs
Big Mek Wingnut (Big Mek w/KFF)
Ex-Farseer Lorilune, AKA Big Louie (Weirdboy w/Warphead upgrade)
Tankbustasx10 w/Nob, Bosspole, Tankhammer, 2 Bombsquigs
Nobzx7 w/Dokta Chop, PKsx3, BCsx3, Kombi-Skorchasx2, WAARGH Banner, Bosspole (BW Ded. Transport)
Shootazx25 w/PK Nob, Rokkitsx2
Shootazx25 w/PK Nob, Rokkitsx2
The Flyboyz (Deffkoptasx2 w/TL Rokkits, Buzzsaw)
BigToof (DeffDread w/Skorchasx2, counts as Troop)
Killa Kansx2 w/Grotzookas
Da Big Red Cheez (BW w/Ram, RPJ, Killkannon)
Da Beast (BW w/Deffrolla, RPJ, Big Shoota; Ded Transport)
Runtherd Bogwog w/Kannonsx3

Tzeench "Gifted" Forces(1850pts): 32 Infantry, 2 Walkers, 3 Vehicles; 11 KPs
Chaos Sorcerer w/ Gift of Chaos, Warptime
Chaos Sorcerer w/ Gift of Chaos, Warptime
Thousand Sonsx10 w/Asp Sorcerer w/Gift
Thousand Sonsx10 w/Asp Sorcerer w/Gift
Thousand Sonsx10 w/Asp Sorcerer w/Gift
Rhino w/Extra Armor
Rhino w/Extra Armor
Rhino w/Extra Armor
Defiler w/ extra CCW
Defiler w/ extra CCW

In the GrimDark Universe of Warhammer 40k, many great falsehoods have been spoken:

"Kharn is a nice guy once you get to know him."

"Commissars use blanks every friday."

"Tzeench never holds a grudge."

Big Mek Wingnut peered out of the window of his massive Fighta-Bomba. Once a mighty Thunderhawk, the vehicle had been stripped of it's aquilla, pomp and circumstance, and had been replaced with a rickety sense of well-being only really understood by Orks.
Wingnut peered around with his Lookin' Googles, and then motioned for his Grots to reel him back in.
He shook his head looking at the ground far beneath them. Warlord Grumgutz Bitzgrabber had gotten a message that a group of Deffskulls had found some primo swag, and wanted to trade it for some decent teef.
Having just taken down a load of Hummies, the WAARGH had a lot of scrap, but they needed some decent bitz to get everything working again.
Wingnut nodded to himself, it was just prime timing that the Deffskulls had called when they did.
He heard a strange whimpering sound, and looked over to see a sight that made him smirk.
Not being a Greenskin yet, Ex-Farseer Lorilune was not happy. That is, she was terrified.
The Eldar was pale, and gripping onto a few straps on one side of the plane. The rest of the Orks looked at her in confusion, as the plane wasn't falling down yet, but the Warphead kept muttering something about "fuel lines" and "explosive decompression."
Wingnut just scratched his head. He couldn't figure out what was going on in the Panzee's head, but that was par for the course.
Still, that meant that the "Warphead" of WAARGH Grumgutz was quiet, and that was good enough.

The Architect of Fate, the Changer of Ways, the Great Mutator, otherwise known as the great daemon god Tzeench looked out into the Materium. His forces, his Thousand Son marines had suffered defeat time and time again. Although not as greedy for victories as his fellow god Khorne, the Orks of this WAARGH had done something that he did not think possible: They irritated him. Or perhaps it was the constant diatribe of the Chaos Sorcerers begging to try and defeat the Orks again and again. The great Daemon paused to consider the endless possibilities... There was no way in the universe that his forces could win.
With that thought, the Architect of Fare smiled. A plan had been formed.

"What do you mean you don't know how we're going to LAND!" screamed Ex-Farseer Lorilune.
Wingnut shrugged at the Eldar. "I dunno Panzee, da landin' bit usually takes care of itself.
Lorilune paled and looked around at the other Orks who were bobbing their heads. Getting shot down or crash landing was just part of the adventure.
She was about to stammer something more when the air whirled...
Suddenly, the sky changed a strange maroon shape, and a huge vortex appeared in front of the plane. The Fighta-Bomba flew straight in, completely absorbed by the portal. The passangers held on for dear life, as the sky and surroundings howled, whirled, shimmered, and did everything in its power to tear the ship apart. However, Ork technology (and extra bitz padded on for luck) held out, and the Fighta-Bomba managed to emerge somewhat unscathed.
Big Mek Wingnut was the first to speak. "What in Mork's name was dat?"
Lorilune looked around and jerked her head up, "Ground!"
Wingnut snorted, "It ain't da ground, da ground's never done somefin' like..."
Lorilune screamed, grabbing Wingnut by the arm and pointing out the front window, "NO YOU IDIOT! GROUND!!"
Wingnut followed her gesture and looked out at a swirling void of multiple colors and... a large chunk of earth flying right at them.
Even if the Ork pilots were actually at their controls, it wouldn't have mattered very much as the tiny plane impacted with all of the delicacy and grace of a watermelon being dropped off a battlement.


Picture Caption: DOWNER EDNING LOLZ!




Ok, no, not really.

Ex-Farseer Lorilune moaned. Oh, good, she thought sarcasically, she wasn't dead. She slowly opened a bleary eye and looked around. She was quite some distance away from the impact site of the plane (presumably launched there, given the scattered nature of the debris), and had luckily landed on a group of grots (the weedy gitz having the natural tendency to pulp on impact). There were several Orks who were already getting their vehicles out of the rubble and a wirring sound from a Painboy's surgical saw could be heard (along with the "patient's" yowling). She turned as she heard a clanking of tools and saw Big Mek Wingnut plodding over.
"Ah, yer not dead? Dangit, Dokta Chop's gonna be all turned out. He was hopin' he'd have a chance to see what Panzee bitz look like."
Lorilune coughed and threw him a glance, "Well, I'm sorry, but I'll have to deny him that luxery. What in the world..."
She paused as a sudden rush of pain rammed into her head. A psychic echo forced it's way into her mind:
"I am Chaos Lord Splenderus Spellslinger of the Thousand Sons. I have come to have my vengence upon you all. I will make you all mewing Spawn at my feet for the glory of Tzeench! Be prepared."
Lorilune opened an eye and saw all of the Greenskins floundering in the wake of the same power. "Oh, good, at least we're not alone in here..."

Mission: Annihilation
Setup: Dawn of War
Terrain: Ruins

Pre-Game Thoughts:
Now this was going to be an interesting game. I had fought this mission once before, but my opponent was much more aware of my tricks (and me of his). Dawn of War was going to be interesting, especially as this could go a number of different ways.

We had a nice number of buildings scattered around the edges and a few in the center, nothing too extravagant.

Picture Caption: Not too bad, not bad at all...

With DoW, setup is fairly loose, and I decided to put BigToof behind a good-sized piece in the middle and have everyone come on the first turn, with the Deffkoptas outflanking.
My opponent, being the sneaky curmogeon that he is, decides to put down nothing, and roll in on the first turn.

Picture Caption: Oi! Where'z da Spikey Boyz at?

Thankfully, the Tzeench-ites fail to steal the initiative (not that they really wanted to) and the game is on.

Turn 1: Orks
It took some time, but Wingnut and his Meks had managed to get both of the massive Battlewagons operational. The two de-facto leaders of the WAARGH were peering around the small, rather strange Imperial ruins that they had found on the floating asteroid.
Lorilune paced in the back of her vehicle, ignoring the bounces and hollering of the Ork drivers. The entire situation was wrong, utterly unthinkable. She pondered as to what kind of power could have transported them here and for what reason. A Chaos Sorcerer alone did not have the ability to tear open a rift in the Materium. For that kind of a rift a more...
She paused as theories mentally clicked and she barked at Wingnut, "We have to get out of here!"
Wingnut, who was busily looking around for bitz to scavange from the strange hummie place, started, almost bumping his head on a loose piece of plating.
"What are ya yellin' about Louie?! Ya almost got me noggin' knocked off!"
The Warhead looked around freverently, "We have to get out here, don't you understand? They brought us here for a reason, it's..." She paused as something caught her eye. It was a terrible blue sigil inscribed where an Imperial aquila should have been.
"By She who Thirsts... We're in a sacrificial site! We have to get out of here before it's..."
As if on cue, shimmering portals opened up and a horde of blue vehicles and walkers trundled out of them. Chaos Sorcerer Splenderus Spellslinger nodded to himself. The resurrection process was not overly pleasant, but Tzeench would not be denied this time. He would make Spawn of them all. Or corpses. Either was acceptable.

In game terms, the Orks move forward into position.
Not really knowing where he was going to show up, the Orks deploy centrally, with Da Beast (with Wingnut and his Nobz) in the left front, Da Big Red Cheez (with Lorilune and her Tankbusters) to the right.
The Steelgrots kept to the left of Da Beast.
Both Shoota mobs filled up the flanks, with the Kannons and Lootas running forward into cover as best they could.

Oh, and Big Louie makes a WAARGH (uh, thanks...).

Turn 1: CSM
The CSM roll on, castling in the center behind some cover.
Two Rhinos come up the center, with a Defiler to either side, and a single Rhino to the far right. The Rhino in front pops smoke. (So they all get 4+ saves. Huh, that's a neat trick... Clearly the Tzeench-ites had been practicing!)
Shooting is negligable due to night fight.

Picture Caption: Hmm, yeah, bricks, parapets, heraldry... uh, huh, that's a castle.

Turn 2: Orks
Now that there are things to shoot at, the Orks move forward a bit and start shooting at transports (have to take them out lest the Tzeench-ites get loose!)
The Tankbustas blow up one Rhino, and immobilize another with some Loota & Kannon help. The Deffkoptas do not come on the table yet...
Louie makes another WAARGH (jeez, calm down girl...)

Turn 2: CSM
With a splitting sound, the Warp rends open and squats out the Obliterators!
The Oblits come on to the far left (safely out of assault range).
They produce some nasty looking Lascannons and fire, butcause negligable damage as they fail to harm Da Beast.

Orks: 1
CSM: 0

Turn 3: Orks
The Orks seemed to heave everything well in hand, when suddenly the air shimmered and the ground shook. With dismay, the Orks watched their bullets fly in random directions as it seemed the laws of reality had taken a break for scones and a hot toddie.
Lorilune screamed as the WAARGH energy building up inside her seemed to refuse to release, building up to tortuous levels.
The Tzeench-ites laughed with deadly certainty. Their master had decided to take a more decisive hand in this affair...

Ok, this is when things go really bad...

The Orks roll forwards (They don't know any better... yet). The Tankbusters immoblize the rear (last) Rhino.
With all of the transports taken care of, the Lootas and Kannons set their sights on the Defilers...
However, Tzeench clearly pulls the switch for "reality reset" as the right Defiler makes 8 (7 penetrating and 1 glance!) cover saves.

Picture Caption:
Yes, that's about as likely...

Totally demoralized, the Orks decide to hang back until the laws of reality settle down.
BigToof tries for an assault on the Chaos Sorcerer that is just standing out in the open, but is JUST short...
Oh, and Louie, yes, made ANOTHER WAARGH. And err... still no Deffkoptas yet...

Turn 3: CSM
Being mostly sand and gumption, the Thousand Sons don't move around all that much.
The Oblits fall back a bit, and decide to go for an easier target, namely the Killa Kans! But, their Lascannons bounce off the KFF again!
Everything was looking rosy until Big Toof goes down to a really accurate Battle Cannon! (OUCH! There went my forward offensive...)

Orks: 1
CSM: 1

Turn 4: Orks
DKs finally come on. Shooting shows the BC blown off the right Defiler.
The Orks are getting a bit restless, as BL makes ANOTHER WAARGH (now this is getting silly, where's the Shooty?).
Desperation (and a previously imbibed glass of merlot (yes, alcohol-influenced gaming, beware!~)) produces a Brain Fart of epic porportions. Da Beast rolls forward, dropping out the Nobz in a useless Nob Assault, taking out the Baited Sorcerer, but well, uh, totally leaving them out for assault in the next turn...

Picture Caption: Yes, exactly so...

The shootas take up the WAARGH and assault the oblits, but the Oblits laugh off the PK, handily making all of their invulnerable saves! (Tzeench must really be pulling out the stops on THIS one...)

Turn 4: CSM
The right, Battle-Cannon-less, Defiler with two Thousand Sons units and a Chaos Sorcerer (Y'know, EVERYONE) assault in and utterly destroy the Nobz. Thankfully (sort of) no Nobz are Spawned.
The other Defiler fleets and thankfully fails to assault the Shootas in the arduous Shoota-Obliterator combat.
Shootaz continue to utterly fail in harming the Oblits, wiffing with their PK and all of the normal wounds are saved (what is going on here??).

Picture Caption: I couldn't take a picture of this horror, but this is close enough.

Orks: 2
CSM: 2

Turn 5: Orks
Picking herself up off the floor of her Battlewagon Lorilune snarled.
To hell with control, she thought. She was going to show that Sorcerer a thing or two even if it killed her.
Throwing her anger into her powers, she felt something inside her snap and blood ran from her eyes and ears. Greenish energy seemed to build up to titantic levels, and the Tankbusters got ready to bail from the cab if necessary.
However, their worries were unneeded, as the Warphead released a mighty ZZAP! slamming into the leg of one Defiler, sending it skittering back and slamming it into the Tzeench icon.
The icon shattered, and with it, the world shimmered and returned to... well, whatever Barric IV counts as normal.
The Orks cheered as the Chaos Sorcerer snarled. He had but moments before the spell drew him back into the Warp. If he did not preform adequately for his master, who knew what Tzeench might do to him...

Thankfully, reality decides to snap back to normal, and with a vengence!
Immobilize both Defilers (Thank Mork!), blow up both Rhinos (with a ZZAP! and err... a Perils of the Warp on 1,1; Thank you very much!).
Also Shootas finally turn their PKs to the "on" position, and take out the Oblits.
Random shooty pares down TS's, but not enough for a KP.

Turn 5: CSM
As a final act of defiance, the Defiler shoots it's battle cannon, and hits the whittled down unit of Shootaz, but in a rare act of stubborness, the minute squad of Orks hold!
But, the Thousand Sons still get their KP for the turn, as the Deffkoptas finally fall to AP3 bolters...

Orks: 5
CSM: 3

Game Ends: Ork Victory!

Post-Game Thoughts:
Now that was the WORST rolling ratio I have ever gotten, and the dice gods thankfully pulled my fanny out at the end of the day (Immobilizing two walkers and destroying TWO transports on Turn 5 = GOOD). The Tzeench player was a bit dismayed that he couldn't pull it out at the end, but as they say, fortune favors the uh... bold.. or is it the foolish?

Big Mek Wingnut plodded over to "Big Louie," who was resting comfortably in the back of her Battlewagon. "Uh, dat's good shootin' Louie. Uh, is you dead yet?"
Lorilune snorted, "No, my dear collegue, I am sadly enough not in the arms of the Infinity Circuit yet. Thankfully, whatever this strange energy has done to me, it has improved the sturdiness of my once elegant, but admittantly frail form."
Lorilune sighed, "Yes, I'll be able to blow things up soon."
"Oh," Wingnut nodded, "Dat's good. Hey, dem Spikey Boyz faded out pretty quick. Wonder what happened to them?"
The Ex-Farseer smirked, "Oh, don't worry, my dear collegue, I'm sure they're having the time of their lives..."

Back in the Warp, a hideous, Warp-Spawn dragged itself along the ever-changing corridors of a Tzeench citadel. The other Chaos Space Marines glanced away from the creature, as it seemed to grow new limbs, organs, and skin as it passed. Even the Aspiring Sorcerers seemed more bemused than interested. Although it was hard to tell, the Spawn seemed different than the other mindless abominations. This one, for some reason, paused here and there where a reflective surface gave it a view of it's hideous growths. It howled. Not for blood, but for a more primal pain. Losing oneself is a hard thing to do. But Tzeench has always loved irony.
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Old 03 Nov 2009, 12:24   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

Will them Tzeenchys never learn. The Orks of WAARGH Grumgutz will not take no crap! Shame BigToof did not get into any crumpen but you held in there. Oh and omg so many WAARGH! and not much assaults its a sad day I liked there return of the Thunderhawk but I fear its flying days might be over....

Nice report but not much action this run,did not really kick off till turn 3 :-)
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Old 03 Nov 2009, 12:33   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

Thank you for the reply.
This was a match of epic porportions as Mathhammer just completely and utterly took it in the face.
I'm not sure if it was the Dreadnaught making 8 cover saves (at ONE time, all from the Lootas) or rolling FOUR WAARGH's in a roll, but clearly, the dice did NOT like me that game... That is until the last round.
I'm still sort of speechless and if I was not actually present (and sadly enough playing), I wouldn't have believed the raw misfortune that had landed (steaming and stinky) in my lap.
Maybe uh, too much description in that last part...

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Old 03 Nov 2009, 17:17   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

I just realized I didn't write down anything for the Orks. Y'know like positioning or tactics or what-not.
(And that Shinji-Asuka picture is a lot more disturbing on second look)

Fixed now!

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Old 05 Nov 2009, 18:30   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

Best report I've read in a long time. Thank you very much, BigToof.

Ups, downs and laughs. This one had it all.

Two thumbs way up!
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Old 06 Nov 2009, 02:23   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

Thank you for your comment!
I was beginning to be worried when the regulars (yourself included) didn't chime in for this one.
(I was wondering if it was too much )
It could be that I have faced Tzeench way way too much?
In any case, thank you again, and I hope you'll stay tuned for more to come!

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Old 06 Nov 2009, 19:56   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

That was a lot of thumb twiddling in the beginning of that game huh? Good thing it picked up late, and the Ork gods were happy with some slaughter.

I love to bring Twitch but its tough when they never roll the powers that would be helpful. Then you've got to think, "do I chance it and roll again, or just do nothing this turn?"
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Old 06 Nov 2009, 23:17   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

Thanks for the reply!
Yes, it was very lukewarm and weird for a very long time.
One thing for Twitch:
The reason why Lorilune actually rides in Da Cheez is that the Battlewagon actually insulates her from the effects of 'Eadbangers.
As per the Ork FAQ, a 'Eadbanger causes a S6 hit on rear armor. This is MUCH better than the "Oh look half the squad dies" effect that seems to be normal with Weirdboys.
So, in effect, I can re-roll without fearing of frying them all. I have yet to really do anything too bad to the Wagon (After all, a S6 on AR10 is iffy at best).
I wonder if you can use the Ork KFF for that hit?
If you can, then you're actually really safe...

Just thoughts.

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Old 07 Nov 2009, 08:58   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

Originally Posted by BigToof
As per the Ork FAQ, a 'Eadbanger causes a S6 hit on rear armor. This is MUCH better than the "Oh look half the squad dies" effect that seems to be normal with Weirdboys.
Oo Handy to know :-)
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Old 07 Nov 2009, 12:03   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: WAARGH Grumgutz vs. Tzeench Marines (1850pts, 10/28) in "Fate SPITS at you!"

I always thought it was a neat ruling. It's what's made me very reluctant to put her Mightiness outside of her Wagon for any reason (although she seems to like teleporting well enough...)

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