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Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!
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Old 14 May 2008, 09:37   #1 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

Seeing as my first attempt at writing turned out a total shambles :-[lol, i have decided to try and re-write the fluff as i have had suggestions and help from other members.Well here goes,this isnt going to be perfect as i am quite bad at this!This is only a draft it can be edited if anything is impossible fluff wise.

The Dragon Warriors

The planet Extraho Cubile was often used as a battle post by the Salamander Space marines.It was a mostly barren and lifeless world except for the few dragon like creatures which inhabited it.Shortly after the Horus Heresy at the time of the second founding the Salamanders founded a Successor chapter to be know as 'The Dragon Warriors'. Draken Ignis was appointed the Chapter Master and taught his Chapter just like the Salamanders teach there new recruits.There final right of initiation was to slay one of the mighty dragon beasts and to keep its pelt to honour the holy animal and to show they fight with the strength of gods.The chapter soon broke of from the imperium of man(dont now why yet, i need some help with this)They chapter opended warp gates on Extraho Cubile and dragon like daemons poured forth.The chapter became Excommunicate traitors and had to be delt with for the safety of the Imperium.Chapter upon Chapter was sent to totally annihilate this planet and the filth that dwell there.As the loyalists got closer and closer to the main fortress Draken Ignis and what was left of his renegades fled to his ship 'Dragons Fury' and left the system.His location now is unknown though it is said that there has been reports of worlds being attacked and entire citys being burnt to the ground(could this happen?) by marines in red armour followed by 'Dragon' like daemons.

any help or ideas for expantion would help greatly.Oh and if your wondering where i got the some of the names i just used a Latin translater seeing as Terra is earth in Latin ;D
C&C welcome
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Old 14 May 2008, 12:27   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

Much better (I didn't comment on the other one, but did read it).

Quote:
The chapter soon broke of from the imperium of man(dont now why yet, i need some help with this)They chapter opended warp gates on Extraho Cubile and dragon like daemons poured forth.
Suggestion - instead of explaining it, keep it a mystery. "During the time of eternal night, where for half the year the planet remains in total darkness, red lightning split the sky and daemons poured from the ground. The chapter, for reasons completely unknown, instead of fighting back, joined with the daemons and butchered the populace, in an act of brutality not seen in centuries."

Quote:
Chapter upon Chapter was sent to totally annihilate this planet and the filth that dwell there.As the loyalists got closer and closer to the main fortress Draken Ignis and what was left of his renegades fled to his ship 'Dragons Fury' and left the system.His location now is unknown though it is said that there has been reports of worlds being attacked and entire citys being burnt to the ground(could this happen?) by marines in red armour followed by 'Dragon' like daemons.
Suggestion - "Two companies of Salamanders arrived in orbit, determined to rid this stain on their honour, but they were viciously beaten back by the new renegade forces. Seeing more ships arriving to exact His Imperial Majesty's Divine Retribution, the renegades took their Battle Barge, the Dragon's Fury and fled the planet.

Imperial Retribution was swift, a complete Exterminatus of their homeworld, and the Dragon Warriors have led attacks on the Imperium to this day"

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Old 14 May 2008, 12:34   #3 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

Nice!Me Likey! Thanks for the help Rafe i will edit it into the copy on paper i have here with me
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Old 14 May 2008, 12:46   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henderson
Nice!Me Likey! Thanks for the help Rafe i will edit it into the copy on paper i have here with me
Not a problem. You've got a great start to your back story, which you can add to after various battles you play.

A lot of the charm of 40k is the mystery. If outside sources (such as the Inquisition) have no clue as to why your force embraced the daemons instead of doing their holy duty, you've got a great mystery concept.

You've also, with just that one line, got more history to add - you can add about the Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor determined to track them down and find out why they went renegade, you can add in the shamed Salamander Captain who failed to bring them to the Emperor's justice and is determined to wipe them out.

Next, you can look at the motive for their following actions - ok, so they are traitor, and are holed up somewhere, but why are they attacking the Imperium? Is it revenge? Misguided belief? What do they do? Merciless attacks on civilians, Piracy, or attacking Imperial forces?

By looking into all of this, you can add so much flavour to the force - and this is before you even flesh out your characters

Is your leader a cruel, heartless killer, or does he doubt the Imperium and is in a crisis of Faith? Is he insane? Is he sane, but lives for the killing (maybe Khornate influence).

[hr]

A lot of people I've seen on other sites complain the background as established is too restricting. It can be, if you try to write with a closed mind. Keep what you're doing though, and you'll be fine. You've got a great start, keeping with the established fluff, and you've got lightyears to play with it without worrying that it may become "wrong"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim.
Rafe is damn sexy once he gets into his night attire.
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Old 14 May 2008, 12:58   #5 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

I was possibly thinking misguided belief as the Salamanders blew up there homeworld, they must of killed the Dragons dishonourably and maybe Khrone has spoken to them telling them to shed the blood of any living Imperial follower as they dishonour the Dragons tricking them into doing his work?I like the idea of the Salamander captain failing and trying to redeem himself and i will think about it.
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Old 14 May 2008, 13:01   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henderson
I was possibly thinking misguided belief as the Salamanders blew up there homeworld, they must of killed the Dragons dishonourably and maybe Khrone has spoken to them telling them to shed the blood of any living Imperial follower as they dishonour the Dragons tricking them into doing his work?I like the idea of the Salamander captain failing and trying to redeem himself and i will think about it.
Sounds good.

"Seeing the flames of his homeworld burning, [insert your guys name] seethed with anger, and hatred, and pledged to any deity that would listen that he would have his revenge, and punish those who slaughtered the sacred dragons.

Deep in the warp, amidst a raging sea of hate, something awknowledged his pledge...."
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[quote]Thou shalt not crave thy neighbour

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Originally Posted by Tim.
Rafe is damn sexy once he gets into his night attire.
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Old 14 May 2008, 13:04   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

Man,thats some good writing! You should write a book or something like that
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Old 14 May 2008, 13:32   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

I started, but got waylaid. I do intend to finish it someday though. Its on here in this board IIRC, couple pages back (but if you find it, don't necro it )


Edit: http://forums.tauonline.org/index.php?topic=55968.0 here it is, but as I said, don't post in it (cause of necromancy)

I do intend on finishing.
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[quote]Thou shalt not crave thy neighbour

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim.
Rafe is damn sexy once he gets into his night attire.
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Old 14 May 2008, 13:52   #9 (permalink)
Shas'La
 
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

I am now currently thinking of fluff for Draken Ignis.
Possibly he was crafted a weapon,seeing as the Salamanders are great smiths going back to Vulcan, named the 'Dragons Claw'(just a little fluff for when i model him) and a dragonhide cape(also for modelling). Also may make up some fluff about him always being faithful by his word(meaning he will get his revenge) or a Leader always willing to fight or have him the most protective over the dragons, due to him swearing revenge when they were killed.Just a thought anyways, or should i leave some out and add in something different. ???
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Old 14 May 2008, 14:39   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dragon Warriors Backround/Fluff re-write!

No, that sounds quite good. The claw can be a master crafted lightning claw, and the cape the Adamantine mantle.

With little tweaks, even standard rules can be used to convey an almost special character status (My own Vampire counts carry to battle the Banner of Waldenhof Keep, where they are based. In game, it counts as the Drakenhof banner)

So for your leader, take the Rights of Battle rule, and simply rename it "Vengeance or Death - So enarmoured with thoughts of vengeance, the Dragon Warriors will never flee the field of battle"

Suddenly, a bog standard codex character has taken on the life of a special character, with not rules issues arising.
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