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start of my book, comments please!
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Old 10 Oct 2007, 18:16   #1 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default start of my book, comments please!

hi I've started writing a book about the life of Conrad Kurze (Night Haunter) and have written the first paragraph. Please post comments or suggestions or even edits if anyone thinks they can improve so here it is...(BTW: the person that is described here is Conrad)


“There has never been a time where I have not been in pain, the agonising truth I see in the future is far beyond my control. Now more then ever I can see that my life will never be perfected nor anyone else’s. Because there is no such thing as perfection there is only sadness and rare moments of joy that are only to be crushed by the felling of sorrow.”
He could write no more, he had to rest and the sad psalms of his biography were only triggering more unwanted perceptions of his own dark future. He stood, his chair creaking in protest as his gigantic figure moved away.



so thats it! comments please!
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Old 13 Oct 2007, 08:02   #2 (permalink)
Shas'Saal
 
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Default Re: start of my book, comments please!

well, it looks like you have quite a way to go.

not a bad start though!
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Old 13 Oct 2007, 08:04   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: start of my book, comments please!

thanks, yeah i know (so much to write!) but i was waiting for some comments before i continue so i can see if its worth writing
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Old 21 Oct 2007, 16:02   #4 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default Re: start of my book, comments please!

I like your writing style my friend. Its very easy to read. Hope you can keep this standard up throughout the book.

GOODLUCK xD
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Old 25 Oct 2007, 21:30   #5 (permalink)
Shas'Ui
 
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Default Re: start of my book, comments please!

thanks for your confidence in my writting style Night Fisherman, i have written about 3 chapters now and i think I've managed to be persistent.

All i need now i someone to proof read each chapter!
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Old 26 Oct 2007, 09:13   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: start of my book, comments please!

it is good a bit dark but that is 40k>>>
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